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Original poster

What to do when even cry it out doesnt work?

42 replies

COL1N · 10/08/2022 20:16

I have tried everything with my 2.5 yo DD but she just will not go to sleep in the evening. Every single night is 2 hours of putting her to bed & Im so sick of it. For the past 2-3 weeks I have reluctantly being letting her cry at the top of the stairs, & even that is not working. What do I do?!

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Original poster
COL1N · 10/08/2022 20:30

Anyone?

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ChorserSaucer · 10/08/2022 20:32

I feel your pain OP! Not exactly the same situation but have had such a mare with sleep for many weeks now (but with a young baby). I was given some advice recently by a friend with a toddler (although I haven’t taken her advice yet) but it’s below if you wanted to try something / anything! I’m not sure obviously if it’s something you’ve already tried or any different to cry it out method but She paid for a sleep trainer as she was at such a loss and found it worked quickly and have had no issues since. They did a typical bath, book, bed routing but said goodnight to babe in the bed, left the room, did 5 mins of crying then back in the room, no eye contact, rub / pat babe whilst shushing for 2mins then leave again whether they were asleep or not. Five mins of crying then back in the room and shush for 2 mins etc. Repeat until asleep. Is this controlled crying or something? Really hope something works out for you as your situation sound so tough!!

5zeds · 10/08/2022 20:35

Take her swimming, feed her a bowl of cereal and put her to bed every night for a week.

IDontDrinkTea · 10/08/2022 20:40

Do you let her stand and cry for the whole two hours?! Or do you go back in between? Can you tell us more about your bedtime routine?

Original poster
COL1N · 10/08/2022 20:40

Thankyou for the advice, I will literally try anything. I already do the cereal/ porridge before bed but not the swimming! I think the method described there is controlled crying yes but she wont even get into bed for me to do it in that way!

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Original poster
COL1N · 10/08/2022 20:40

Yes I go up & down to her but everytime I go up it seems to antagonise her more!

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Reluctantadult · 10/08/2022 20:41

Does she still nap in the day? What time are you tucking her in? What time does she get up?

tiredmumma8696 · 10/08/2022 20:41

Are they still napping?

We've been having the same; 2 hours of putting back to bed. We've been going through this for nearly 6 months and we've dropped the nap a week ago and straight to bed every night.

Hugasauras · 10/08/2022 20:42

What happens if you get into bed with her, do stories etc and cuddle her till she drifts off? We've always done this with DD, who is 3 now. It doesn't take long when there's no stress or tears.

Original poster
COL1N · 10/08/2022 20:42

I do supper downstairs & some milk, then upstairs for a bath & story, lights dimmed, very relaxing as suggested by everyone. Then after the story I get her to go into her bed, I sing to her abit (her request) but then as soon as I try to leave she starts kicking off!

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Hugasauras · 10/08/2022 20:43

Ah cross-post. What if you just stay till she falls asleep?

Original poster
COL1N · 10/08/2022 20:43

She has a little toddler bed so I couldnt get in but Ive tried laying with her on the floor or against her bed, she just keeps trying to get up to cuddle me or get another book.

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PelotonMama · 10/08/2022 20:44

Is she old enough to love stickers? We went through a similar phase but the thing that finally cracked it was my DD receiving a ‘hey digger’ sticker in the morning if she had stayed in bed.

PelotonMama · 10/08/2022 20:44

Hey Duggee

MolliciousIntent · 10/08/2022 20:45

Does she nap?

Original poster
COL1N · 10/08/2022 20:45

She doesnt nap really anymore but would in the car or something if going somewhere at the right time of day. She wakes about 7.30am, I take her up to bed at 7.30pm but it's usually between 9 and 10 that she actually fall's asleep.

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bambi1132 · 10/08/2022 20:45

My DD is 4 and I still just sit at the end of her bed until she falls asleep. If I didn't she would do the same as your DD m. They're only little once, just stay until she's asleep

Original poster
COL1N · 10/08/2022 20:46

Yep tried the sticker chart but she wasn't bothered!

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CaptainBeakyandhisband · 10/08/2022 20:46

So, I have a child who would not tolerate any kind of sleep training. Any extension of the bedtime routine timing usually meant that either he needed to drop/adjust his nap or he needed to go to bed later. But even at 8 I still sit in the corner of his room whilst he goes to sleep or will he close by in the next room or so. It doesn’t take long and I’m fairly sure he will grow out of needing it soon

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2022 20:47

COL1N · 10/08/2022 20:45

She doesnt nap really anymore but would in the car or something if going somewhere at the right time of day. She wakes about 7.30am, I take her up to bed at 7.30pm but it's usually between 9 and 10 that she actually fall's asleep.

So take her up at 9pm. Honestly some children just don't need as much sleep. DD didn't.

Original poster
COL1N · 10/08/2022 20:48

I dont have a problem staying on her room until she falls asleep but I think she sees that as a game.

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Original poster
COL1N · 10/08/2022 20:49

I could try taking her up at 9 but Id worry then it would be 11 that shes going to sleep. I want to go to sleep at 9 myself!

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NewYorkLassie · 10/08/2022 20:49

Can you really not squeeze into her bed, sit up in there whilst she goes to sleep? I’ve had to do that with both of mine.

chubbachub · 10/08/2022 20:49

Research wake windows, nap time suggestions for her hair, give her plenty of protein to keep her full during the day and more exercise than you can even imagine and just hope for the best.

Or you accept the current shituation and hope for the best.

I genuinely think kids sense our stress so if you start tensing up and bracing for a rough night around bedtime she is going to notice and wonder why the atmosphere is tense when you are her safe place and of course she will be unsettled. Make sure you are relaxed and not getting frustrated with her.

At this age it's hard because if you do CIO or CC they are more verbal and it tugs at the heart strings.

Do you have a partner who can do the bedtime routine for a few days and stick to the CIO for 3 days and see what comes of it? She might realise she's getting nowhere and finally just sleep.

Does she have everything she needs with her for nighttime? Dummy, fave cuddly toy, blanket? Is she comfortable? Room temp
Ok?

All the best of luck OP.

Original poster
COL1N · 10/08/2022 20:50

Yes I can sit up there with her but then she is climbing on me, trying to cuddle or play with me. She wont lay down!

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