15 month old won't go to bed....ever

[donchafeellikecrying]

his isnt our first rodeo in that we aren't first time parents....have an older child who admittedly didn't sleep through consistently or consistently in her own bed until almost age 5 but she was fine as long as not on her own But we have 15 month old twins now - boy and girl. Girl is fine just wants to fall asleep next to me and then will go in her cot. Yes can wake in the middle of the night and then comes in with us for a cuddle but does sleep But our boy.......he just doesn't want to go to sleep...ever. We have fallen in a trap of me doing his sisters bed time and DH taking him out in the car and driving until he's asleep and then putting him to bed. Because he just would scream for hours otherwise. BUT we can't carry on like that** as I'm worried how will ever he go to bed on his own (and it's costing a fortune in fuel!) - it was working fine for about 2 months but the last few nights he'll sleep for an hour or two and then be wide awake and just won't go back to sleep. We couldn't do cry it out etc before because he shares with his twin and the crying would wake her up and then we'd have 2 babies to settle and we both work full time and were literally going to work on a couple of hours sleep if we were lucky But now I'm thinking of trying it again but moving his sister downstairs to the sofa when she is asleep and then going for it? Does it actually work though? I've said to DH we need to commit to it and follow through for what could be several nights of crying I guess I'm just after tips and solidarity - sounds awful but we have to almost break his will when it comes to bed times. I've had 2 hours sleep in 48 hours and i have a very high pressured and challenging job and just need some more consistent sleep and not feel anxious when it comes to bed times Sorry for the rambling!

Ds was was up at 5.30am too, it's such a killer,didn't matter if he went to bed at midnight he was still up bang on 5.30🙄

They first few nights were absolutely brutal. They were absolutely roaring but we stayed firm and every 5mins just lay them down and repeated "it's night time, time for sleep". (or something along those lines). I honestly just blocked out the crying by wearing headphones and playing music for those first few nights until it got to night 5 and they were falling asleep themselves and we moved them back into the same room after about 9/10days.

Now very rarely do they kick off, I lie them down, say goodnight and leave the room and shut the door. they might play peek a boo with each other for a wee 5 mins then it's usually girl twin who falls asleep first, boy gets bored finds his bottle and falls asleep.

Funny coz our twin girl like yours is smaller and tires quicker too!

I honestly feel your pain as I was at the point of a complete and utter breakdown until we done the disappearing chair. It is hard work the first week but it honestly saved me.

@rosegoldivy

Thanks! I feel a bit more confidant to try again tomorrow night - to be honest it's DH who won't be Able to stick to it - I think he's been secretly enjoying his man and boy time driving around at night listening to his crap music and then carrying a sleeping toddler in like he's god gifts to bed time and has single handedly saved us 😂

We worked with a very reasonably priced sleep consultant, life changing, cannot recommend enough! If you want the details I can message you, it’s under £400.

Good luck for tomorrow x

It sounds like he may need more exercise to tire him out. Also why would you bring children downstairs after a bath? Surely that gives the wrong signals.

Could you be putting him to bed to earlier. When dS was that age he wouldn’t be asleep till nearer ten. Maybe he doesn’t need as much sleep as his sister.

• too early?

@JS87

It's possible. Although I'm usually in bed for 9pm myself so no way can I do a 10pm bed time! - I've actually got to get housework done in the hour or two when they are asleep and often have to log back on to do more work

He's actually woken up in a really good mood - which is pretty rare 😂 normally he wakes up whinging - although he did come in my bed at 2am he cuddled up and went back to sleep which also doesn't usually happen - usually he's awake for an hour or more before eventually giving in and snoozing

Little girl twin came in about 4am I think

But I feel like I got a decent stretch of sleep so feel ready for tonight 💪🏻

This sounds really tough. He sounds like he’s really full of beans. Maybe he’s not tired enough? If he’s at the childminder maybe they are tailoring to the other twin’s needs more than his? Instead of driving him round, maybe your partner could do some high energy play with him and he could have a later bedtime.

@Carbis

It's a montissori setting and during the day seems like they are let loose in the garden all day so he's definitely being stimulated as it's all independent play and no TVs in sight - I did joke to DH that it's like having a dog we need to walk 3 times a day to burn off energy 😂 . He's walking confidently whereas girl twin can't walk yet so if anything I imagine it's him they run after all day as he's in and up everything

Our 5 year old is brilliant when it comes to high energy play chasing him around the house but he's seems to have never ending energy - he's currently chasing one of my cats around and around the kitchen table 🤦🏻‍♀️

I would end up playing hide and seek and chase with dS at bedtime when I was trying to get him dressed for bed. He would also be awake for up to two hours in the small hours every night and get up at 5.30am. It was a killer. His nap was quite late in the afternoon though as he wouldn’t go to sleep any earlier. He has never needed as much sleep as some other children his age. Maybe try keeping him up whilst you do your jobs and see what happens if he goes to bed later.

Once more into the breach dear friends
Wish me luck

So I'm going to the disappearing chair thing

Is this normal ....little boy twin stood up in Cot - I get up to lie him down - minute I'm off my ass he launches himself on his pillow 😂 until I sit down again
Little sod!

Good luck @donchafeellikecrying

Hahaha totally normal. My wee bit was up on his feet before I even sat back down the first few nights 😂😂

Good luck!!!

So little twin asleep in her cot 🥳

Big twin.....faffing. Had a bit of whinge so rocked him for a little bit. In the night garden has finished on the Tonie so it's quiet now.
I can see him peeping at me out of the corner of my eye.

What worked like a charm for me is making sure my kids were playing and busy during the day, lots of fresh air and zero TV. The it comes down to routine & consistency. Dinner, bath, milk, brush teeth, stories and into the crib they go. Lights off, 3 lullabies and then shut the door and walk away.

My kids have always slept through the night. I was telling a colleague the other day what also worked for me is that after age 12 Months I made nighttime wake ups an "unpleasant" experience, I had to be strict - it wasn't nice cuddle time with mommy it was mommy saying gently but semi-sternly go back to sleep.

Well started around 645pm after they had a bath. Didn't take them downstairs as someone recommended and kept them upstairs in their room - let them play whilst getting pyjamas on and milk.

Not sure I really followed any of the sleep training methods so I'm not sure if it will be the same tomorrow but there was no crying tonight and no one out driving the streets so I feel like we've achieved something.
I sat on the spare bed and worked and everyone once and a while got up to lay them down.
Boy twin faffed about for ages but finally gave in at about 620
Hoping tomorrow it won't take so long

Is 6:20 a typo?

Sounds like a much more successful evening

This may sound counter intuitive, but I think your DS needs an afternoon nap. It sounds as if he is too exhausted to sleep.

Ask the CM to limit the morning nap and to try putting him down between noon and 1pm. He could have some quiet time in the morning instead of a full nap, or a brief nap of about 45 minutes.

At their age they should be having a good 2-2.5 hr nap in the afternoon. Sounds like they are so overtired by bedtime they can’t settle. Until day naps are sorted you will constantly have these bedtime battles and early wakenings I would think.

Nyour poor twins sound so overtired. 8/9 is WAY too early a nap if they’re only having 1 a day. It needs to be more like 11/12 if waking at 5:30. They also need a solid routine. The same wind down every single night. No faffing about with stimulating things like playing after bath, audio books/music and lights from working/laptop. Toddlers love predictability! A solid consistent wind down where they know exactly what’s coming is key. So in to dim (nightlight only) room, pjs on, milk, read 2 calm books, light off, cuddle and in to bed. It needs to be about actually winding down and beginning to produce melatonin.

Sounds brilliant, well done, keep going!