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Sleep

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Toddler Has Never Slept for more than two hours!

60 replies

CharleneFF · 07/02/2022 19:28

First time posting here.
I have a 17 month old little girl who has always been a terrible sleeper (due to reflux when she was newborn and would only sleep through contact napping).
Still breastfeeding and it always helped getting her to sleep for naps, and eventually bedtime (after an hour of battling).
She basically naps usually once a day between 40 and 90 mins, she’s not great at connecting her sleep cycles so often wakes early and then I feed her back to sleep so that she’s getting enough daytime sleep. She has a very structured bedtime routine which includes a book, bath and breastfeed. However, it’s taking over an hour to get her to sleep every night and she has no idea how to go to sleep without me or her dad. She is either fed or rocked to sleep constantly and then wakes on average 5 times a night but sometimes up to 8 times. She has white noise, a comforter, an amber light when fed, sleep bag, etc. She has never slept through the night and it is extremely rare for her to sleep more than two hours without waking. She starts off in her cot and ends up in the bed with myself. I’m aware that breastfeeding is a sleep association for her but because she is waking so often I can’t bear the thought of rocking her to sleep 7 times a night so weaning doesn’t seem to be an option. Sleep training isn’t for us.
It’s been 17 months of never sleeping more than two hours and breastfeeding all through the night and I’ve hit a wall. I’ve never felt more lost about what to do for the best. I feel so guilty that she doesn’t know how to put herself to sleep so is having terrible sleep because of this.
She’s such a happy girl despite the bad sleep and has an enormous amount of energy (she’s taken on long walks with our dog everyday and walks the whole way and this still doesn’t tire her out). Any help is much appreciated. It seems like everyone I know has a baby that sleeps and I just feel like I’m doing something very wrong :(.

OP posts:
DaisyChain16 · 08/02/2022 11:53

@Cheekypeach

Barbaric 😂 I have a medical condition which means I can come over very weak & dizzy suddenly, when this happened I had to put my baby down for her own safety for around 20 minutes, whether she was crying or not. Is that barbaric? If so, why is she such a happy and confident child now?
Presumably you were still with your baby? No I don't think that's barbaric. But leaving a baby alone in a room to cry in order to sleep train to me is.
Babyccino11 · 08/02/2022 12:54

@Cheekypeach I agree it’s not all about the child, it’s about how the op feels and repeated suggestions to night wean and sleep train when she’s explicitly said she’s not comfortable with this isn’t helpful.

OP have a look at BASIS website it’s a great evidence based resource for sleep.
Lindsay Hookway is fantastic, have a look at her Instagram, she’s a holistic sleep coach, may have some suggestions. Look up ‘habit stacking.’
Emma Picket lactation consultant also has really helpful Instagram content.
Facegroup groups ‘breastfeeding older babies and beyond’ and ‘uk co-sleepers’ also both great- many posts on exactly this and lots of gentle suggestions to be found there.
If you do end up going down the night weaning route ive heard lots of good things about the jay gordon method. Emma Pickett also has great advice for this.
I really hope things improve for you xx

Cheekypeach · 08/02/2022 13:32

repeated suggestions to night wean and sleep train when she’s explicitly said she’s not comfortable with this isn’t helpful

She says before recommending a night weaning method…

NameChange30 · 08/02/2022 13:36

Ha yes I noticed that Grin

StopStartStop · 08/02/2022 13:41

@iloathhousework
Think i haven't been there?
Trust your babies, follow their lead, you'll never regret it. Anyone who tells you to 'sleep train', to try 'controlled crying', they are not giving good advice.

Cheekypeach · 08/02/2022 13:45

What if your baby makes you so tired you crash your car with them in it? Would you regret that? Or breezily shrug it off in A&E as the nitty gritty of attachment parenting?

Porfre · 08/02/2022 14:58

I tried sleep training my first

Problem was shes got got a very sensitive gag reflex.
Within a minute of crying shes vomited over herself. Didnt bother again.

In the end- we were formula feeding. I switched the milk to water slowly.

Then gave her less water with each wake up, until I think I switched it to a sippy cup. She stopped waking up cos she didnt want water from a sippy cup.

Morechocmorechoc · 08/02/2022 19:55

All those saying night wean are not appreciating the consequences for a toddler with reflux. It hurts. The mulk sooths. If reflux is the case night weaning will make things worse and the acid potentially cause damage.

User310 · 08/02/2022 19:59

Op have a google around sleep hygiene for toddlers. We were having the same issue with ours and realised we’d turned his bottle into a sleep crutch and he just didn’t know how to independently sleep. I’m not going to pretend it was easy but he now sleeps through the night after stopping the night time bottle. We’ve also managed to get him to stay in his cot for 6-7 hours before coming into bed-woooo.

WoMandalorian · 08/02/2022 20:04

Both mine were similar up to 20 months old when they suddenly started sleeping through, I kept breastfeeding to sleep until they were 2 but for the last 4 months they only fed to sleep and no longer woke. Any chance they could drop a nap? (if they still have them? My first stopped napping at 18 months🙈)

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