Those who have done Controlled Crying...

[LydiaFTM]

...was it successful?

DS is 6 months old and nurses to sleep. We also cosleep and contact nap. He's starting nursery in March and I'd like him to be able to fall asleep better on his own or with less support. Previous, more gentle, sleep training attempts where we stay with him while he falls asleep haven't been successful.

I'm aware sleep training isn't for everyone and if we could avoid it I would but I'm not going to survive on current sleep levels on 8 hour work days. Plus he will be looked after by nursery and grandparents and I need reassurance he will be able to settle for naps without me there to nurse him. So please no judgment!

If it's worked, how long did your baby take to fall asleep on the first night? And how long did the whole process take?

Am I right in thinking on each check-in we spend a few minutes comforting DS without picking him up? I'm fairly sure it will reach a point where no amount of reassurance will comfort him in the slightest!

Did you use it for bedtime and naps all at once? Or start with bedtime?

Thank you!

@LydiaFTM just came across this. Contemplating what to do with my 6 month old. Would love to know whah you did and what state the sleep is now in, how your baby and you coped etc. Thank you.

I did with my 6 week old because we had had literally 1-2 hours sleep per night for 6 weeks and were broken. I lost 2 stone in 6 weeks as I was so stressed I couldn’t eat. Milk was lacking. Awful
3 nights is all it took. Worked like a dream. We all got our health and sanity back.
felt horrible during those 3 nights and I cried so much but very glad we did.
Yes my baby did of course wake sometimes still but it was 100x better than before and manageable.

@jmap81 Sleep is still very much a work in progress but we are a million times better than when I wrote that post!

We did do controlled crying or the quick checks method or whatever you want to call it. Basically the first night it took him about 40 minutes to fall asleep with 5 minute check ins. The next night was about 10 minutes then even less the next and very soon he went to sleep independently with no fuss. This is all in his own cot as well. I was therefore able to have evenings to myself again and go to bed when I wanted and have my own space!

However we do still have 2-3 wake ups a night and he is up between 5 and 6 everyday. Whenever I set aside time to implement the method on wake ups (eg when we are off work for a bit) he seems to fall ill, so I'm currently still feeding him back to sleep every time he wakes up. He is still super good at settling himself at bedtime though.

I've resigned myself to him just being a poor sleeper at least while I'm still breastfeeding so I'm hoping in the next couple of months to stop that. Whether it will help his sleep I'm not sure but I will use the same method again at some point on his wake ups too.

X

Oops name change fail! I'm the OP!

Btw I wouldn't recommend it on a baby younger than 6 months for what it's worth. But I think after 6 months it is a completely reasonable method to help teach good sleep and for parents to take back some control. Good luck if you do decide to go ahead. Id highly recommend following Just Chill Mama on Instagram x

Sounds like you're making the right decision. There's a lot of hate for sleep training on MN but it's honestly the best decision I ever made. DD was waking every 45 mins ALL. NIGHT. LONG. After the training she was a much happier baby and more alert. It also meant the transition to going back to work made it easier for her because she wasn't relying on me to put her to sleep.

We did the Ferber method. First night she took 45 mins to go to sleep then got progressively less each night and by night 4 she was sleeping through or only waking for 1 feed (I basically agreed to feed her if she went over the period of time I knew she could go during the day because she wasn't feeding well while awake) but she eventually just dropped the feeds. She's been a gold star sleeper ever since. I think it's a really important life skill and learn how to sleep well. BIL is 24yo and still is a terrible sleeper and has been since a baby. I didn't want that for my kids.

Ps we started one evening and then went straight into doing naps as well the next day. I just wanted it done and over but they say start with the night sleep if you are not ready for naps. Also stick to the timings even if its hard otherwise it won't work as well.

We did it as it was taking so long to get baby to sleep, probably about 7/8months. Would have done it sooner probably but we were moving house and had to also get rid of the dummy, so didn't want to do them all together.
We did 2/5/7/10/10/etc - never more than 10. We have to occasionally go back to this when sleeping somewhere new, or going through a regression or something. We try other stuff, but this seems to be the only thing that works. And now it's clear from the lengthy pauses that she's just trying to see if we'll come up. I don't leave her when she's poorly or there seems to be something genuinely wrong.
I'll be doing it again with number 2 for sure. Maybe earlier!

Hi, for those of you who sleep trained with controlled crying / Ferber method, what did you do for night wakings?

My DD is 8 months and self settles brilliantly at bedtime and for naps, but still wakes 1-4 times a night. We have a good pre-nap and bedtime routine at the end of which I put her down fully awake, leave the room and she'll go to sleep within 5-10 minutes with no crying. Sometimes she grumbles or chats for a few minutes but that's all. At night time sometimes she just needs me or DH to go in and put a hand on her chest and she'll quieten down, but other times she takes much longer to settle.

I'm just at a loss as to what to do, because all the sleep training focuses on teaching self settling. Would you do controlled crying just for night wakings? I do feed her once in the night but I'm not sure if she's actually hungry because she occasionally goes through the night without feeding and she doesn't seem very hungry in the morning.

Yep, exactly the same for night wakings as the start of the night - so CC and coming back in intervals to soothe

But someone does come in. If you never did controlled crying that’s fine and your choice as a parent but there are plenty of posters for who controlled crying worked and they have perfectly fine children. Personally I would never co sleep but I would never criticise anyone that chooses to do it.