Self settling - when will crying stop?&

[MissMollieO]

We have successfully in my opinion broken this cycle of night wakings with my son using controlled crying.

He has now slept through the night for the past couple of weeks and will get himself back to sleep if he wakes with no intervention.

However, even at the beginning of trying this and before we did, he always went to sleep not a problem, no crying or minimal and certainly no screaming.

However now when we put him down he screams and cries up to 40 minutes for every sleep and nap. Usually it's less maybe 15 minutes however I hate seeing him going to bed so upset :(

He used to be put down awake and would roll about it whine for a bit and go to sleep but it seems we have sacrificed that for a whole nights sleep.

Will this ease and get better or will he always cry and scream now :(?

It's heartbreaking listening to him getting himself so upset and feeling like we have abandoned him when he is upset.

How long has he been crying for up to 45 mins for? I know you’re saying that a doctor / HV and sleep expert have said it’s fine but I have read a lot about sleep science (my 8 month old is not a good sleeper to put it mildly) and the general consensus is it’s fine for it to take 2-3 days for the long hours crying to last but if it doesn’t reduce after that then there can be a problem with attachment if it goes on for a longer period and becomes a pattern.

Ugh I hate how judgemental people can be on here. If it’s any consolation, we did CC with our son when he got to 14 months as we we exhausted after not sleeping for over a year (he wouldn’t settle co-sleeping either). I found using a separate space for napping in the day helped. We put him to nap in his buggy for the day and rocked him a bit, then continued with the night routine in the cot.

Also, it may be note worthy that I never left him to cry (mostly grumble) by himself for more than 10 minutes, this only took 1 night. Have a look at different techniques if this isn’t working for your baby.

@Capricopia I've responded to him diligently for over a year. 15 mins is not too long in my opinion and it's what I feel comfortable with.

As I said half the time he is lying down eyes closed isn't needing to go to sleep.

If I were to go in more often (which we did try) it just winds him up more and prolongs the process.

@Newmum29 only this week and not every night so I don't know if it's just a phase.

We have reverted back to holding him for a little longer before he is put down and it seems to be working.

I think it's a lot of change. We're trying will do to stop giving him a bottle and also his milk upstairs too.

Last night we did milk from a cup downstairs and then bed. He was not a happy bunny!

Adjustments all round.

I really do think some babies just hate being put down. It’s impossible for people whose babies settle themselves to understand. We did all the “right” things from the start. She’s had the same night routine since birth. Bath, bottle, read a book (or several), sing, cot, white noise. Same with day naps. Mostly in the cot again sale routine, read a book, sleep bag and white noise. She’s had enough food/milk and spent enough time outside, the right wake window. She still cries. It is so hard.

I Wouldn't be able to do controlled crying hun...our little boy used to struggle to self settle and go to sleep on his own until I read up about sleep from sleep nannies on Instagram...we worked out a plan with a nannie and did the following.
For 4 nights held his hand through the cot
For another 4 nights sat away from his cot on a chair
For another 4 nights moved the chair further away by the door
For another 4 nights sat outside his bedroom
For another 4 nights every couple of mins went in his room rubbed his back and said shhhh it's sleepy time
Gradually they get confidence that when u leave u will come back but u have to do all the steps only for 4 nights xx