Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Considering "uncontrolled crying" but would appreciate your opinions first.

52 replies

ThomasTankEngine · 03/12/2007 14:13

7.5 month DS will settle straightawy in night if I give him even just 3 mins of breast milk.

If I give him water, and reassure him with a cuddle he stops crying instantly, but as soon as I put him down he shouts again, until I give him some breast milk.

He is therefore usingbreast milk in the night not for food, but fr comfort.

I am knackered, so tried controlled crying.This goes on for 1.5 hours.

So considering just not going in to him.

Is this cruel? Should I just continue to give him breast milk?

Any comments appreciated.

Thank you.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

jorange5 · 03/12/2007 20:20

Oh please don't feel stupid for feeding your baby to sleep! It is a lovely natural way to go to sleep and does not lead to poor sleep in the night.

Can you concentrate on increasing food intake during the day and maybe when that is established consider sleep training if there is no improvement? The crying wont go on for so long if it is not out of hunger!

dancerandprancer · 03/12/2007 20:20

Have you tried a dummy. It may help if you think it is just a comfort thing.

Original poster

ThomasTankEngine · 03/12/2007 20:41

Have tried a dummy. He's not at all interested.

SSH pat: he's fine if I'm holding him, but as soon as I put him in his cot he screams, unless I have BF him. Then, even if I put him down awake, he settles quickly.

Its almost as if theres a dozy drug in my milk that helps him sleep.

They are all so different, and different things are needed I agree for each child.

OP posts:

PhDiva · 03/12/2007 20:46

Babies get used to things quite quickly, so if you put him in your bed at 7 pm after the breast feed in the evening, and stuck it out for one night, I think the next night, he would have gotten the hang of co-sleeping rather than playing in bed. Sounds like you really need to get some sleep, and co-sleeping is probably the fastest and least-painful option.

Original poster

ThomasTankEngine · 03/12/2007 20:56

PhDiva, my 1st DS loved and still does, co sleeping.
Ds2 far prefers his own bed (he just had a nightmare, I took him into my bed to wake him a little and offered him to sleep in my bed, and he said 'no my bed'.
DS3 snuggles down happiliy in his bed if I put him in when he yawns during the day ( normally at 9 -ish and 12-30 ish.#Tis only in middle of night that he won't go in happily unless bfed.
I could try to readapt to sleep with us but feel that at some point i will only have to readapt him into his own bed again.

OP posts:

Pannacotta · 03/12/2007 22:57

Personally I would rather be a sleep deprived wreck (which I am lots of the time) than do controlled crying, which I hate, it seems very cruel. Have also read that is not good for small babies and their emotional development, they are too young to understand so just feel abandoned.
DS2 is 6.5 months and wakes every 2/3/4 hours in the night to feed.
I am breastfeeding and find it easiest to have him in bed with us, feed him when he wakes and then we all go back to sleep quickly (DH often doesnt even wake).
With DS1 he was a bit easier at night, started off in his cot and then if he woke I brought him into bed to feed him and he stayed there.
Both have dummies (DS1 (2) still now which isn't ideal), they do help settle upset babies IME.

StarlightMcKenzie · 03/12/2007 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lou200 · 03/12/2007 23:23

I have a 10.5 month old DD and we've found that if we get her up when we go to bed, change her and breastfeed her she will go back to sleep until 6 or 7. She has been known to wake up around 3am but not if she's had plenty to eat and drink during the day. I've read the stuff about comfort feeding but I've felt that if she wants it that badly to wake up & make a fuss then she's either hungry or thirsty and it takes no time to top her up and make her comfortable. Sometimes she will wake but go back to sleep again by herself quite happily but at other times obviously needs milk.
I'm afraid after reading a lot of the 'manuals' and getting to know my baby, I've figured out that these gurus know a lot..........about selling books & making money. You know your baby best and you should do what you think is right for you & your baby. Trust your instincts
and it will work out.

CloudAtlas · 03/12/2007 23:25

haven't read all posts, but I would recommend that you got him in to bed with you and just wopped a boob over to him whenever he wants it, the only way to get sleep with a newborn imo

lou200 · 03/12/2007 23:26

Dummies.....mmmm, now what do I think about dummies..............

Monkeytrousers · 03/12/2007 23:28

I second Mrs Badger "my opinion?

feeding for 3min is much less stressful than listening to hours of crying"

lou200 · 03/12/2007 23:32

.......and what is the deal with getting your baby to sleep 7 'til 7 all about? I ask other parents about their babies and the first thing they comment on is that they've got them to sleep 7 'til 7 like that's the golden measure of.......something. Do I sound bitter ) ?

StarlightMcKenzie · 03/12/2007 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nappyaddict · 04/12/2007 00:57

have you tried putting a muslin in your bra so it gets your smell on it and giving it to him as a comforter?

also have you tried swaddling?

is he in his own room or your room?

also does he go to sleep on his back cos mine always settled better on his side or tummy.

have you tried a white noise cd

mylovelymonster · 04/12/2007 10:06

Bringing up Baby? Wasn't that interesting.....found out I'd been doing it all wrong....................

Original poster

ThomasTankEngine · 04/12/2007 13:34

You're right it does feel like success is measured by whether baby sleeps thro the night.

LOL at "wopping a boob over to him" cloud atlas

couldn't work out why your DH was saying starlight for a while, Starlight!

Also smiling to myself at the thought of having one big boob when using a muslin, but will try that, a good idea, thank you.

For the record, last night he woke at 1am, fed for 3 mins then slept tl 5 when he had a full feed.

A far easier night thn the ccing ones.

OP posts:

mylovelymonster · 04/12/2007 16:03

TTE - how old is DS3? Is sleeping through the night an urban myth? How old were everyone's babies before they slept through without a peep, say 11 til 7am? Quick poll anyone? Would love to know - I'm sure people fib x

nannynz · 04/12/2007 17:20

I class sleeping through as consistent, sleep for five to six hours(for under six months and increases with age) - anything more is a bonus!

My main charges were:
BF baby slept though at 12 months after controlled crying.

Baby two(combined fed) - slept through at 3 weeks from 11pm - 8am and slept through 7pm - 8am at six weeks.

Baby three(combined fed) - slept 7 - 11 at three weeks, and then slept 7 - 6am at nine months after two nights controlled crying

Baby four(formula fed): slept through 7 - 7am at six weeks, although got horendous ecxema at four months and didn't really sleep through consistently until a year

Baby five-(BF) slept through 7.30pm - 8am at nine months after weaned off BF at night

Baby six(BF) - slept through 7pm - 7am at six months after one night controlled crying although he was only awake for 45 mins

I'm by no means an expert, but I'd sure love to do a study on the whole sleep topic with babies. Really i think the best think to be is to be consistent so whether you're happy to let baby do own thing, co-sleep, use strict routine, follow no routine as long as you're doing what you think is best(of course within reason) for your baby you can't go wrong. Only you know your baby.

I keep thinking I might write a book with the magic answer on all things child related, but all my book would have in it is empty pages as every baby and family is different - so what works for one may not work for another so really there is no answer but to do your what you think is best!

I'm curious to how I'm gonna handle being a mother(not for a while though) as sometimes at the moment all that helps me get throught the week is that I've have 24 hours a week to myself. Although I've had so many priceless moments with my charges I wouldn't ever take back a moment. Children are the sweetist candy on earth.

Monkeytrousers · 04/12/2007 17:43

I can't believe this really. How about when thye are ill? Or teething? They become unsettled and need settling again. Ds could sleep through when about 1, but life inteveined often and he still occasionally come in with us - he's now 3.

Does anyone remember that horrible thread about the mum who used to put her baby to sleep in a cot in the utility room so she couldn't hear them cry at all?!

Niecie · 04/12/2007 17:48

Interesting nannyz - the ff or combined babies slept through quicker than the bf ones.

My DS1 slept through at 10 mths and DS2 at 8mths. Both breastfed. I suspect they give up their night feeds when they don't need them any more and until then you just have to live with it. I wouldn't consider controlled crying. I admit I did it with DS1 to get him to settle in the evening, but having gone through 4 evenings of crying, the effects of CC last about 2 weeks and he was back to his old ways of bfing to sleep.

DS2 always bf to sleep in the evening but was still able to settle himself during the day, if I put him down so I didn't worry.

I know it is hard but if 3mins of bf do the trick then I would just go with it and one day you will find he doesn't need you in the night any more. I hope it is sooner rather than later for you though, Thomas.

mylovelymonster · 04/12/2007 18:04

NannyNZ - thanks for the info - that is so interesting.........I did find my DD (10m) slept more soundly at night when we were supplementing with formula when she was sick. We're going to attempt a bit of CC over the Christmas break - it will be harder for DH than DD or me!!!! So true that babies are so different, and all wonderful in their own sweet impossible way. Write down everything while it's fresh for that book!!

Pannacotta · 04/12/2007 20:42

ThomasTE, there IS something in breastmilk which makes babies (and their mothers) sleepy. Cant remember exactly what it is, a hormone I think, but it does make both mother and baby sleepy, which helps explain your baby's behaviour.

Pannacotta · 04/12/2007 20:45

The hormone is prolactin, just looked it up on google.

Original poster

ThomasTankEngine · 05/12/2007 10:12

Thank you Pannacotta.

And thank you nannynz, very informative and clear.

Don't have a utility room....

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 05/12/2007 12:51

but didn't she say ebm didn't make him sleepy?

Flip

1 2 3