Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

Bunk bed??

37 replies

reighn · 29/08/2021 00:22

Hi everyone. I'll cut this short. My 3 yo son and 4 yo daughter share a bedroom. They have bunk beds due to lack of space. Since having these my sons will NOT sleep in his own bed. He's always been good in his own bed when we had singles think it maybe because he could see his sister. But now he can't see her he falls asleep in the bed but gets up half way through the night screaming for me, he's become obsessively clingy towards me also. I'm not getting much sleep as he will not settle so for the good of my other two children with school etc. I bring him in with me so he doesn't wake anyone. It's getting quite bad he doesn't like the bed he tells me this. I don't really know what to do at this point.. anyone had any similar things happen the same? Thankyou

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Popitdontstopit · 29/08/2021 00:25

They both seem too small for bunk beds, arent you supposed to be 6 for the upper bunk?
Can the beds be separated for now?

SquirtleSquad · 29/08/2021 00:27

Both too young to be in bunk beds

Original poster
reighn · 29/08/2021 00:35

Hi. Yes they are too young. But unfortunately it's nothing that can be helped. Very small bedroom I wasn't happy either about them. There isn't room for a trundle so I had no choice in the matter. 4yo daughter is very responsible. She doesn't move a muscle sleeping where as my son is everywhere. I got a bunk bed where the bottom bed is on the floor kind of thing..

OP posts:
PumpkinKlNG · 29/08/2021 00:48

Might just be that they don’t like bunk beds? My son hates his but like you there is no other option (we have a stair box so only bunk beds can put in the space)

Popitdontstopit · 29/08/2021 00:55

But you said he was good at sleep when you had singles, which implies you did fit them in? Sounds like a lower than normal bunk bed though which is good.
Maybe he'd like them both to sleep together - a small (four ft) double would be smaller than two singles - not good long term though

SnackSizeRaisin · 29/08/2021 07:54

Surely the age limit for bunk beds only applies to the top anyway so that's hardly a helpful comment as the problem child is underneath!

Anyway how about some glow in the dark stickers for the underside of the top or something else that he chooses to make it comforting for him? Basically try to build a positive association with the bed so that he likes it, at least in the daytime...new duvet cover or a big teddy or a nightlight or a picture stuck to the underside of the top?

Original poster
reighn · 29/08/2021 08:57

Hi. @SnackSizeRaisin I have tried all this with him nothing helps at this point. @Popitdontstopit yes they was in slightly bigger bedroom before I had to switch round due to neighbours constantly waking them up through the night I had to get them at the other side of the house.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 29/08/2021 09:01

Who's in the other room op?

Original poster
reighn · 29/08/2021 09:04

@SleepingStandingUp hi. My eldest who's 10 is in that room he's a very heavy sleeper so we thought it maybe best to switch you can put a Hoover near his head and he won't wake up. This house is rather small, the bedroom they used to be in isn't much bigger still I box room without the box kind of thing. I am looking for a move as the house has no storage and very small bedrooms unfortunately

OP posts:
OverTheRubicon · 29/08/2021 09:05

The age limit is because of the number of children under 6 having life changing injuries after falling from a top bunk. I wanted some for my 3, but after working in paediatric A&E my sister made me promise that we'd never get bunk beds until after my youngest was at least that age (and she said ideally older) after seeing a number of head injuries, and I know a child personally who broke both wrists just falling from a mid sleeper. Younger ones will always end up climbing up at some point.

If you could fit them both in singles or even in small doubles or one single and a toddler I'd go back to that. The upset doesn't seem worth it and while it might respond to you doing brief reassurance then leaving, taking longer to return with time etc (like a normal toddler night waking tactic), that might just end up with him deciding to try to climb up to her himself, or her coming down to him in the dark.

Original poster
reighn · 29/08/2021 09:19

@OverTheRubicon hi! Thankyou and I totally agree with what your saying. But I physically cannot fit 2 beds in that room unfortunately I'm hating the bunk beds at the moment really am , I just don't no what to do at this point

OP posts:
CornishTiger · 29/08/2021 09:23

I’d look at tackling the noisy neighbours situation. Are you both rented or home owners? Soundproofing?

Original poster
reighn · 29/08/2021 09:41

@CornishTiger hi! I have been in a open case against this for a year and half now. We tried mediation etc. They do not care at all.

OP posts:
CornishTiger · 29/08/2021 09:49

Is it rented? Social housing?

Original poster
reighn · 29/08/2021 09:54

@CornishTiger hi it's council.

OP posts:
CornishTiger · 29/08/2021 10:01

Then they really need to do more.

If it’s ASB noise then they need to deal with it and enforce tenancy obligations. Mediation only works if there is motivation to address issues and change behaviour.

If it’s lifestyle differences but not intentional noise then structural survey to look at sound proofing. They can do you. But you need to be like a dog with a bone and push push push …..

Original poster
reighn · 29/08/2021 10:04

@CornishTiger hi. I'm not one to give up I've pushed every day for a year and half they said they will put cameras in there house to see if was true about the noise. I have had noise control out 3 times and the police have been put also. They was so bad I had to go to the MP. I have mountains of evidence BUT they won't take it as I could of " edited" it apparently.

OP posts:
ImFree2doasiwant · 29/08/2021 10:06

Let them top and tail?

ImFree2doasiwant · 29/08/2021 10:07

Or put the bunks in the other room with the 10 yr old on top

Caspianberg · 29/08/2021 10:09

Could you get just a fold out toddler style bed or a cot bed mattress? A 3 year old should fit another year or two and you could just stand against the wall during the day or tuck at end of the Bunk bed.

Use the bunk bed still with 4 year old at bottom and top for storage?

CaptSkippy · 29/08/2021 10:13

What type of bed was he sleeping in before? Was it a crib? Is there a way to make the bunk beds more cozy, like fitting them with curtains and fairy lights and maybe a lighted mobile with something that interests him? Maybe put up some kinds of railings.

Perhaps he'll like it better if they both get to pick the decore of the beds and the room.

Original poster
reighn · 29/08/2021 10:46

@ImFree2doasiwant hiya, tried this my daughter doesn't like it. She likes her own space.
Also. I can't do that there's no room in my eldest for a single and bunk beds as this bunk bed is a volkswagen bunk bed so it's not a normal bunk bed

OP posts:
Original poster
reighn · 29/08/2021 10:47

@Caspianberg hi sorry I can't as there isn't room for another bed in there.

OP posts:
Original poster
reighn · 29/08/2021 10:48

@CaptSkippy , yes it is really coast as it's a Volkswagen camper van, I won't put lights in my kids room as it's a massive hazard I'm too scared to do that. I have a night light projector. What I'm going to do tonight is put both mattresses on the floor together and see if he sleeps better

OP posts:
Caspianberg · 29/08/2021 10:51

There must be room on the floor for a cot bed mattress if you can fit both normal mattresses on the floor? It’s 140x70.

As they are far thinner you could even just lift the cot bed mattress to the top bunk daytime