2yr old still comes into our bed need help to stop it please

[Tania2]

HELP HELP HELP
I know this has proberly been done b4.
My ds wakes in the middle of the night and will scream until i bring him into our bed and then he falls straight back to sleep. I think that it has been the easy way and thats why we have done it cause everyone then gets there sleep. But now he is getting bigger he tries to kick us out of bed and noone is getting any sleep.
Last night i tried to give him some cars to play with hoping that he will play with them then fall back to sleep in his own Cot. He just screamed for his bottle of milk and mummys bed. i cant leave him in his cot as he tries to climb out and i am worried that he will fall out. Iam angry that i have left this too late and worried if i put him into his own big bed that he will just keep getting out and climb into bed with us.
Please someone help me he turns 2 in 2 weeks and would like him to sleep through by then.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and i hope someone has gone through this that could let me know how they broke the habit.

i have been through this with dd 18 months.
a gro bag has helped tremendously at minute, but when dd woke up through night, i let her fall asleep with me and then crept back into her room and carefully placed her back into her cot.
note:this only works if your not 'that' tired , you fall asleep with him! like i did on most occasions.
good luck, i know how bad this can be.

Would it work to reward him, well, bribe him I suppose. If he wakes up, he can have a cuddle but then he stays in his cot and gets a treat for it in the morning?

Thanks girls for responding.
He is too big for a grobag and i have tried to put him back into his own bed but he just wakes up and i do reward him already with a bottle only 20ml but that is rewarding him for waking so i think i may need to get rid of that first i think its just so hard we liked him coming into our bed for cuddles but now its a pain. Iam just so mad at myself for not breaking the habit earlier.

i feel the same but then you feel awful for 'not wanting' to have a cuddle at 2 in the morning dont you!
it is so draining, but as people say, get them into a good routine..this has become his(unfortunatly).
cant offer any better advice im afraid but im sure someone else can.
good luck

No personal experience but i'm sure I've read on here that someone put a single mattress on the floor as their child didn't like the cot but was too young for a bed- they put the mattress on the floor and used to lie on that with them... i'm a bit vague i'm sorry- whoever it was will hopefully be along soon

Thanks again girls. Might try the matress on the floor thing if i cant get him to sleep in his cot. Have heard of that one b4 was hoping to hold out on going into a big bed until i really have too cause he still has a afternoon sleep and goes into his cot really well its just in the middle of the night thing that is the prob. We are ttc another baby atm also.

Tania2, we have put our 2 yr old in a big bed. For a few weeks, we had exactly the same problem as you but we have solved it using Dr Christopher Green's controlled crying technique which is fantastic and by closing his bedroom door! Within three nights, the problem was mostly solved and he sleeps in his own bed all night now. He is much happier because he is getting lots of sleep and so are we.

logic did you have sleep probs b4 you put your 2yr old in a bed?
I want to try to get him to sleep in his cot the whole night first but i cant really let him cry without me being in the room cause he tries to climb out and iam worried he will hurt himself. he goes to sleep fine during the day and at night its just when he wakes in the middle of the night. He was a really good baby and slept thru until he was 9 months old when he got croup thats when everything changed and he came into our bed. I have really stuffed up now!

Hi Tania

We did CC with our DD last January, when she was 20 months old. I kept a diary on MN. Here it is !

Thanks Hula i do a little of cc when i put him to bed but he generally is pretty good. Its just the middle of the night thats hard.

The middle of the night thing was what we found the hardest too. We have had to revert back to it on occasions this year, as she still sometimes gets up in the night. But she doesn't really cry now - just complains a bit, before giving in!

Hula i will be calling on you when i need to stay strong is that ok with you.

Ha ha!

Just to let everyone know on here iam from Australia it is 8:30pm here.
Put DS to bed half hour ago with no bottle going to try to cut that out too cause he wants it during the night so this may be another reason why he wakes?? well he cried and cried and yelled milk milk milk. Dh just went in there and gave him bloody milk. Man that pisses me off but have to admit he is very quiet now and will sure to be asleep in a minute.
Girls in the middle of the night when you are trying to keep them in there cot/bed do you lay them down then leave the room or do you stay in there and then gradually each night eventually leave the room??? does that make sence???

DS is asleep now !!!!

Tania2, when ds was younger we had problems with him sleeping but we gave him a huge bowl of cereal just before bedtime and he would then sleep through. Worth a try? I think that if your ds can get out of the cot, then it might be time to try a proper bed. I would worry about him climbing out too.

It's never too late to change the "getting into your bed" habit but it's really, really hard to have to hear them cry too. The first night of cc, it took an hour for him to give up and go to sleep, the second night it took half an hour, the third night, 10 minutes. It really is amazingly effective! I really hope that you can sort this out. Sleep deprivation is terrible

hi tania - sympathies, as our 4yo ds has just started doing this a few weeks ago & it is driving us mad...

thinking back to when dd1 & ds were 2, I would switch to water at night - explain that after he's brushed teeth at night it's water or nothing, or his teeth will go all black! worked for mine (some sulking involved)

then you could leave a non-spill cup by/in the cot so he can get it himself.

In your situation, i would stick to the cot, as he will probably just get straight out of a bed & come in to you... it should be just a phase, and you can change to a bed later on Has he ever successfully climbed out?

hope he stays asleep

Thanks girls for all your sympathies helps that iam not alone.
I hate the thought of the "give up and go to sleep" dont want him to think he has to give up on me.
He used to go to bed with a little water in bottle and i was ok with that i could hear him in the night having a suck on it like a dummy. but stayed at MIL over night and she gave him milk and knew that i never gave it to him but did it anyway now its temper tamtrum if he doesnt get it (yet another thing i have to break).
Last night was the first night that i noticed that he was tring to tip himself out head first so hasnt successfuly done it yet.
I want him to sleep throu b4 i put him in a bed also.

tania, my dd is nearly 3, pretty tall, and still has lots of room in her grobag. i found this link which may help...

au.store.yahoo.com/babysleepers/howtoorder.html

they sell grobags up to 36 months.

My DD1 still does this and she is 3 and a half. As soon as she was able to fling herself out of her cot (and quickly moved to her own bed) she manages to come into our bed every night since. We have tried everything other than physically locking her into her room which I would never do. We have tried the constant returning for night after night until we were falling apart at the seams from lack of sleep, we have tried bribery, star charts (don?t work at 4 in the morning!) and giving her a lovely special bedside light, her choice of duvet to make her feel special in bed etc. etc. nothing works. She simply wants to be in our bed and being a very stubborn little girl she will fight us until dawn if necessary - making herself almost ill after several nights in a row.
We are fairly strict parents and don?t easily let her have her own way when it comes to every other aspect of her life - food, manners, clothes, toys etc. but have failed miserably in the bedtime battle. At least she settles herself to sleep in her own bed happily enough and stays there for about 5 hours. Are determined not to let DD2 go down the same route but will have to see - I don?t think it is up to us anymore!
My advice is that if you can put up with the yelling while you have him "captive" in his cot then give it a really good go - with us it started too late and we couldn?t stop her from leaping out and so had to move to a bed. Once a bad sleep pattern is established it is very hard to break when they are able to get out. Use anything you can particularly bribery and rewards, try the longer and longer amount of time to leave crying or the immediate hardline "no more" route - whatever you can stand and think will work but do it NOW, not when he is able to climb out. You have been warned! Good luck xx

Stripymouse i am kicking myself now for leaving it this long. to tell the truth when i came home with ds he went straight into his cot in his own room i never had the cradle in our room and was actually dead set against having him come in to our bed in the middle of the night and he was a really good baby i never had any trouble with sleep until he got sick with croup at 9 months and both dh and i got the flu (i mean the real flu not the one you think you have when you have just got a cold) he then came into bed with us. we have liked it so far and he is a very loving and cuddlie little boy but now enough is enough b4 it is way too late. this is why i dont want to go down the big bed route yet until he knows how to sleep through.

tania

I think I have the picture now.

*first things first......sleep training if done correctly has a 95% success rate.

*Obviously the longer you leave it the harder it is.....under 1 yr is a perfect age to do it. However, it is never too late!

• Your dh or dp must be in agreement with the principles of sleep training, as if he is weaker than you or has different opinions...it will not work!!! (different approaches confuses children!)

*children do not need to feed or drink at night after 6 months of age....if they do, it is for comfort or is a habit.

*the most important principle is to be firm but kind.

*good night time routine...letting him fall asleep on his own if poss, bath, bit of supper or a drink, story and cuddle.

*when he wakes use the 5 min programme (for kids who can harm themselves climbing etc), elongating the times leaving to cry.....just ends up as......leaving your child to cry. Sleep training is not about leaving your child to cry. Go in every 5 mins reasurre him, DO NOT PICK HIM UP!, stroke him and tell him that all the milk has gone until morning!. Every 5 mins do this.

*has to be same parent in one night.

*sleep traing is a psyhological event......your ds has to realise that you will not pick him up, but keep telling him that you love him but its sleep time.

*first night you may do this for 1-2hrs, but will gradually reduce, average length of time that we see success...is 4-5!

*REMEMBER ..........firm but kind

Luckily I only had a few problems with my dd - she is nearly 3 - we changed her room around, put a touch lamp in there and also made sure she was snug in her duvet or sleep-bag. I found that she tended to wake if she was cold !! Hope this helps - keep ds snug as a bug and hopefully he'll snoooooze soundly !!

Thanks so much jeddah just read your post now.
Its 4:15 here and i think ds is asleep now IN HIS OWN BED. Been awake since 3:15.
This is what i did.
Went in there and tried to lie him back down and make him snug. Ha of course it didnt work he cried for milk and i gave in.
He stood in his cot crying holding his bottle (with only a tiny bit of milk) clinging on to me saying bed bed dad bed mum.
I told him over again its time to sleep mummy loves you over and over again. I didnt leave his room for the first 45min as i had to be sure he was too tired to try and climb out. then after 45 i went and sat on the end of my bed for 10 min then i went back in there and he was ready to lie down by then (he grabed his bottle) he layed down in the cot for me to change his nappy in there then i put the covers over him and kissed him good night told him i loved him and he was a good boy.
1 Hour this first night lets hope it gets easier and shorter time for the next night.
Question: if he is so tired and stands in his cot crying do they eventually lie down themselves? i felt that everytime i tried to lie him down he got more worked up.