Where’s my sleeper gone?!!

[LCF2021]

After having a tough time with sleep with my DS when he was a baby once he turned 1 he turned a corner and sleep has been good since.

He’s just turned 2 now and he’s suddenly gone from going to bed at 7.30, settling himself off to sleep within 5 mins and sleeping through until 7.30/8am. He’d also nap between 1-3pm each day.
Now for the last 4 days he’s been screaming as soon as I put him to bed and dare leave the room for naps and bedtime. It’s taken almost 2 hours to get him to sleep at night. I’ve taken to standing in his doorway and telling him to lie down and go to sleep and he’ll generally wake 1/2 times a night. He’s taking about 30 mins to settle for a nap and then he’ll sleep for about 40 mins.
I know there’s supposedly a 2 year regression but if anyone has any tips on how they overcame this and if it really was a short lived phase or possibly our luck has run out. I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant and bloody shattered!

Big molars cut around 2nd birthday, could it be that?

Otherwise, I'd just keep doing as you are doing for now and wait it out.

@FATEdestiny I’ve tried to have a look but can’t see anything just yet but might be cutting. He does have a little sore bum which teeth could be causing. I tried to feel his gums but got a swift chomp on my finger which served me right I suppose!
I think we’ll keep going as we are and keep our fingers crossed. I’m loathe to step in and start offering a ton of comfort to him as I don’t want him to start expecting it every night. Can’t help but feel I’ve been too smug about all this sleep we’ve had over the last year and this is payback 😂

Have you tried taking the nap away? 1 of mine stopped naps before their 2nd birthday because of the affect on their nighttime sleep.

@DinosaurOfFire I definitely think he still needs it. Today for example, he was with my in laws whilst I worked and as he woke up so early this morning he ended up falling asleep early in his buggy, slept for 45 mins and was awake by 12.30pm. He was in such a grumpy, overtired state come 5pm. I have to say I’m dreading the weekend if he decides not to nap or protests for half an hour like he has done, that nap window is so precious!!

Our DD did this a bit, honestly we ignored it. Put her in bed, night night we love you, we’ll be just upstairs blah blah blah, I think we had one more session of yelling then she went back to sleeping great. It started with one night she was genuinely upset and then quickly became a delaying tactic, we realized the crying wasn’t her distressed/scared cry and her tantrum/attention cry so felt fine ignoring.

Well, he had to go to bed at 6.30pm last night as he so tired. By midnight he’d been awake crying 6 times(!) and was then up at 6.30am today. I’ve definitely been too smug about having a kid who sleeps until 8am 🤦‍♀️

My vote is for molars too. Our 20 month old is getting her bottom back ones, one through, the other starting to poke through. We had wake ups at 8, 10.30 - 12, 3.30 and been awake since 4.30 this morning despite calpol. It's like newborn without the boobs for comfort.

I’m almost sure teeth aren’t to blame, he’s been dosed up on nurofen in case but that’s not doing anything. Last night he was up at 1.30am, 3am and eventually started the day at 5.20am. It’s like some sudden intense separation anxiety has hit him really hard but I can’t stay with him in the room all night as much as that’s what he wants and the longer I’m with him at bedtime the worst it’ll be in the long run as he’ll become even more reliant on it. Very hard when he’s crying out for me but I think a bit of tough love and checking on him every few mins even though I know he’ll be upset is the only way to handle it.

@LCF2021 oh I could have written this myself!
I am currently sat by the door of my 2.5year old daughters bedroom listening to her chat and the occasionalu shout "there mum?" "Stay mum?" If I don't respond she will erupt , so I am sat here by the door for the next 1-2 hours until she goes to sleep! And then she wakes SO early in the morning between 5-6am!

The first year was so hard and my daughter didn't sleep at all. She turned 1 and all of a sudden she would self soothe at 7pm and then wake anywhere between 8-9am!! And then still nap in the afternoon too! She did that for a whole year until she turned 2! On the night of her 2nd birthday all of a sudden she displayed what I interpreted as separation anxiety ! I had to sit next to the cot until she went to sleep , which I did. I was then advised to do a gradual retreat thing - have you heard of this? Every night I would sit further and further away from the cot until I was outside the door. This worked okay ish , but I would still have to sit by the door !!!! We bought a blow up camp bed which is in her room for when she wakes in the night and I'll go in and sleep next to her just to get some shut eye . But now she has started to wake so early and stands up looking at me at 5am saying "awake now. All done. Play mummy" !!!

I'm so sorry I can't help support in anyway but I just had to respond to you to say I am in the same boat and so tired and exhausted ! I too feel like I was smug about having a good sleeper! I even taught myself to crochet in the evenings last year with all my spare down time!! I had hoped to set up a little side line business selling handmade toys. Now I don't get any time at all to myself !! I am hoping that it is a phase and I am hoping it soon passes !! My daughter starts preschool in a couple of months time so fingers crossed the social interaction tires her out !!!

@LCF2021 I'm just sat here thinking about it and I do remember when my daughter turned 2 she was up a lot in the night , which is what prompted us to buy the camp bed. Like multiple times before midnight !! Thinking positively , as soon as we bought that we got a few good runs of no wake ups again - typical after buying it - and then when she started to wake again it was only once a night which wasn't as bad as before - even though I wish she wouldn't wake at all especially after making me sit with her till like 9pm and then up for the day at the crack of dawn!!

Your little boy might settle down soon too and maybe even go back to sleeping through the night ! :)

@24601mary Thank you for your posts. We had a really tough first year with his sleep too so I felt so grateful that he turned that corner at 1 and gave us our evenings back. We did a bit of gradual retreat and ended up outside his room which, although not ideal, meant he’d settle within 10-15 mins but he wanted that all throughout the night too which I just can’t do, especially not heavily pregnant when I’m already beyond exhausted. Last night in particular that didn’t even work and I spent the best part of 2 hours sat on the landing floor.
He’s finally given in to sleep tonight after 40 mins of a lot of upset and me telling him it’s time to sleep every 5 mins. I feel terrible as he’s obviously anxious about leaving me and I wonder if he senses change is coming but ultimately we need to be consistent as otherwise he’ll always think he needs us there to sleep and when I’ve got a newborn hanging off my boobs that’s going to be a bit tricky!!

The only other thing I was wondering... isn't 2 when they might get a bit scared of the dark? Have you tried a little night light? When my DD doesn't want me to leave the room I put on a cd of nursery rhymes really quietly and it seems to be enough to distract her from the rage... but I appreciate your LO seems to be rather more committed to his protest than mine. Meant as an 'it will get better' not as a gloat, the teeth seem to have abated here and we had 12.5 glorious uninterrupted hours last night. Long may it last!

Well, we’re on our second wake up of the night, this one has already lasted for two hours. Screaming whenever we leave the room, tried more intervals but he was too worked up. Sat in his room for 20 mins until he fell asleep, he woke up crying saying “mummy’s gone” 10 mins after I got back to bed. DH is adamant that to get some sleep he should come in to our bed but I feel that’s the worst idea given we’ll likely have a newborn in with us any day now and it’s going to be so incredibly hard to get our 2 year old out. Despite this compelling argument he’s just taken him into the spare room and is now in bed with him 🤬🙄

@LCF2021 I feel you 110%!!
We too were awake at the exact same time! I was refusing to sleep on the camp bed in there as I literally just wanted my own bed ! That resulted in multiple trips back and forth putting her back in her bed only to result in her crying and crying and shouting "mummy's gone" "stay mummy" there mummy" (when she says "there" she means she wants me to sit there by the bed or the door!!!) I don't know if your little boy is the same , but my daughter is overly attached to me more than my husband . She's got better recently , but she is always shouting for me and if my husband goes in to her , she often sits and cries for me to come !!! That doesn't help!

We spent 2 hours awake with her last night repeatedly explaining where we were and how she was safe in her bed . She wanted us to sit on the landing outside her door, and I would be fine to do that if she would go to sleep straight away, but she spends ages settling and then every now and again shouts out "there mum!?" To check im there and if I don't answer her (because I've gone back to bed) she just erupts again!!

I'm sorry I don't have any answer but to just say we are in it at the moment and I am an exhausted wreck.
If your husband can settle your little boy is it any use getting an air bed too for his room so that he can go in and sleep next to him whilst you catch up on sleep and then when you have your newborn !? I know that isn't a great solution long term , but whilst you are needing rest could it be an option?

@24601mary sorry to hear you had a tough night too. He’s definitely more attached to me so there’s an awful lot of “mummy’s gone” any time I’m out of sight even during the day. My husband can leave the room and it goes unnoticed.
It didn’t feel as though as had a game plan last night which didn’t help so tonight we’re going to try and sit on the stairs right outside his room with the door open and I think we’ll have to do that at every wake up which is a killer but last night we spent hours just going back and forth to his room and we both got very frustrated and cross. My worry is how and when we progress from here. Tonight he cried as soon as we were reaching the end of the book as he knew what was coming but he’s gone straight to sleep with me outside the door in sight.
I’m just hoping this isn’t creating a bad habit and someday (imminently) he’s back to settling himself and his nice 12 hour nights.

@24601mary How have your couple nights been? Ours are still hellish. Night before last we spent two hours trying to settle him before I eventually gave up and slept on the floor of the landing outside his door so he could see me…not great at 37 weeks pregnant. Husband did try to argue it with me but knew best by that point.
Last night after an hour of protesting at midnight we begrudgingly brought him into our bed which I really didn’t want to do but you know when you’re just out of options?! It was either let him scream “mummy, daddy!” And be inconsolable, sleep on the floor again or co-sleep…none of them particularly desirable.

DD was already a frequent waker and started waking every hour or so just after 2, it lasted about 2 months and then she went back to her normal. I was in the first trimester then and now I'm 38 weeks.

We've bed shared a lot her whole life but she's sleeping in her own bed atm (till early morning) it's not like it's a fixed thing forever.

@olderthanyouthink I’m glad it seemed to settle down for you, although I’m hoping we’re not in it for 2 months. It’s just very poor timing given I’m so close to giving birth now…the idea of having a newborn AND a toddler screaming all night makes me feel sick!

@LCF2021 we are still very much the same !! Eugh! Putting her to bed, having to sit on the landing listening to her mess about chatting for up to 2 hours (bedtime is at 7pm and I prepare myself that I'll be upstairs on the landing until 9pm ! If I get away earlier it's a bonus !!) if I move away, she calls out for me and if I don't answer she cries and cries until I come back.
I wouldn't mind if she went to sleep quickly but when she wakes in the night and expects the exact same thing it's just too much! The camp bed does help to get some sleep during the night time wakings and in my mind it can't be too bad because she's staying her in own bed rather than me bringing her in with us ( we have tried that before but it's worse as she is such a fidget and none of us get any sleep at all for all the wiggling about )
Im
Hopeful that she will grow out of it and soon be able to go back to settling herself eeek

I sympathise! I was dreading it completely but she's in a better place with sleep for now and just moved into her own room. The idea of a big newborn and a little one is awful.

@LCF2021 if the co sleeping is working for you then crack on!! Don't feel bad about it because it is so important you get sleep! Sleep deprivation is torturous and horrendous snd if your little one sleeps in your bed and you sleep too then that's a very good thing!!!
Is there any space for you to get a camp bed in his own bedroom for when your newborn has arrived - perhaps your husband could sleep next to him in the night whilst you are seeing to the new arrival??

@24601mary I think that might need to be a consideration for us. There’s room in his bedroom to do it. From a selfish point of view I was really hoping DH could do the newborn nighttime changes as I’ll be breastfeeding so up for much longer in the night but if DS hasn’t settled by then it looks like we’ll be taking one each!

@LCF2021 you may find that once little one has arrived snd your son adjusts to being an older brother , he might just change again?! Especially if he knows he is the elder grown up one !

I don't know about you but I find they go through phases that feel like they last a lifetime when you're in the thick of it , and then all of a sudden they change again and you wonder how that happened . I am clinging onto some hope that will happen or at the very least , we will know when she is ready to be reasoned with about the whole bedtime performance !

I am going to try over the next few nights to change things up a bit. Before I was sat outside the door on the landing she had me right next to her holding her hand and she would roll about clinging onto my finger for two hours - I managed to stop that by straight up telling her I'm not doing it any more and giving no reason and just telling her I would sit by the door . She miraculously allowed that to happen without too much fuss ! I'm going to brave attempting to reason with her that I'm no longer going to sit outside the door - I might tell her I'm going to do some jobs, and give no other explanation snd see how she takes it !! Eek ill let you know how it goes!

Do you think he senses the new baby is coming and it's changed something for him? Like he's behaving like this for attention?