18 month sleep regression or something else??

[popgoesperfection]

Looking for a bit of advice to help get my ds sleeping better.
Ds is 18 month and we follow a loose routine of:
Up between 6:30 - 7 am
Nap at 1:15 pm for up to 2 hour
Up to bed at 7:30 pm, read a book and have a cuddle, lay him in his bed, say night and leave.
Generally he goes off straight to sleep independently. However, through the night he wakes numerous times crying and whinging, I leave him for a few minutes to see if he'll settle himself, then go into him, lay him back down and leave. I do this every time, I never bring him out of his cot or speak to him until morning when it's time to get up. Yet he continues to do it every night and I'm starting to struggle with the constant wakings. Can any one offer some advice or anything that I could try?

It really is! I hope tonight is better for u too. My mum is taking her tomorrow night for us so I'll be going to bed at the same time as DS lol.

@Bonnieweejeaniemccall we had a flying start to the night with absolute refusal to lay down, screamed blue murder until I was in tears too…just enjoyed a glass of wine which I practically downed 😂 your mum sounds like a good egg, just one night of decent sleep makes such a difference to your outlook

Hi all, just checking in!
Our little one now has a streaming cold so that's a delightful addition to the situation. Poor little wotsit.
Yesterday I came close to losing it at DH who was being particularly grumpy. I told him I can't cope with his sleep deprivation induced moodiness as well as the actual sleep deprivation itself. It's too much. When DS was a newborn and wouldn't sleep for longer than 40 mins at a time (until he was about 8 months old!) I did every single night waking and DH slept in the spare bed. He doesn't know the meaning of the term sleep deprivation.

Hi all, back again.

Can anyone shed light on how to crack this - I'm at my wits end!

She will go to sleep pretty easily around 7.30/45pm (maybe 5 mins of me stroking her back)

Will wake anywhere between midnight-3am and literally scream. I don't mean baby type scream, I mean scream like she's being murdered. At the top of her voice.

I leave her for a couple of minutes but she's getting in a state so I go in, either say nothing or just say 'lie down please, it's bedtime' and she lies down straightway. Will go to sleep, so then I'll leave the room... then she wakes up and screams again when she realises I'm not there. Or if I dare leave the room before she's asleep, she immediately stands up and screams. If I stay standing next to her bed she will sleep. But I can't stand next to her cot for hours on end each night!!

Then when I leave the room and she starts screaming, I try to do timed entry - so start at 2 mins and work up in 30 second intervals to 6 minutes (but no longer)... but it doesn't work. She just screams.

Can I do anything different?! I keep relenting and taking her into the spare room to sleep next to me where she then sleeps solidly until morning... but that isn't a long term option.

I'm 15 weeks pregnant too so shattered... can't keep doing this!! Argh.

@MKCH that's exactly what our DS is doing... So one of us is sleeping in there for the rest of the night on a pull out bed and just hoping that it somehow resolves.
Poor you, I can't imagine doing it in the first trimester :((((

@PintOfBovril I've thought about doing that but I just don't fancy sleeping on the floor! But it might have to happen!

Also I tend to do the night wake ups because my DP is GRUMPY when he's tired, and also if he had to get up at 2am to deal with her he wouldn't go back to sleep, whereas at least I go straight back to sleep when she nods off.
So it's on me. Preggers or not. 🙃

@MKCH yes same here - I actually prefer doing the night duty because the next day I can be tired but not have to put up with a tired and moody DH!
We got a fold out single bed from argos and it's been a very good investment!

Yes @PintOfBovril I totally have resentment towards my friends with good sleeping children!! Sometimes I do wonder why I got the short straw!! How is lo with the cold? Pfft, aren't men terrible on little sleep!!! I do all the night wakings for this very reason, he irritates me too much when he's tired and grumpy !!
@Angliski how are you getting on?
How did your night off go @Bonnieweejeaniemccall ? Did you manage some much needed sleep?
@MKCH I second a put me up bed, just to get you through the worst nights when your knackered and need sleep. Just until lo is more settled, at least you have somewhere comfy to lay and rest. Especially been in your first trimester.

Really bad last night up and actually running around the house- I let ds in to sleep with me and he just did a runner! We ended up chasing him up and down corridors until he got tired and was plonked back in cot, no fun! Shattered today. He’s a big fan of running uphill!

Hi all! Any updates? Things are still no better with us, I think I’ve just entered the state of acceptance that things are shit. Some days it really gets to me - off work at the moment but when I’m back in a few weeks it’s going to be a real struggle.

Mummy help needed… 15 month old screaming crying and playing up at bedtime, albeit absolutely knackered. All form of routine out the window, pushing me away and will eventually fall asleep downstairs on my husbands lap 🙈 any tips for a Mama all out of options??

Also wakes around 10.30pm after being asleep and instantly sits or stands up. Sometimes it may be the dummy that settles her back down or as soon as I lie her down she is hysterical crying and sits back up. Once settled she may last until 3am then starts again.

We have tried the cry it out (not for us) and she was once in a good routine. Perhaps a sleep regression, but at the mo, can’t see light at the end of the tunnel.

Hi @Tiredmama87 …not really got much advice as I’m lost in the tunnel at the moment but you’re definitely not alone! From what you’ve described, sounds very much like you’re going through a regression. According to google wisdom it will only last a few weeks. I don’t trust google wisdom at all. I hope you have some support, it sounds like your husband is involved too, which really helps doesn’t it

@Tessie87 aww thank you for your reply. It’s been going on for some time with the waking in the night but only recently past few weeks has she started playing up at bedtime. I feel like the bad parent because she associates me with putting her to bed, when clearly she doesn’t want to. I saw your post about accepting that things are shit, I feel that way too when I have friends who’s children sleep well. I have a little diva on my hands. Fingers crossed we all get a bit of a rest soon x

Hi everyone! How are you all getting on? We had a while of not too bad sleep but we seem to have regressed over the past few nights 😩 back to multiple night wakings and up at the crack of dawn .... 🙄🙄

Still ongoing here too... I've been resorting to just bringing her in bed with me because I'm just so tired. Even then it takes her so long to fall back asleep.

We had nearly a week of almost back to normal but waking ar 5am then she got a cold last weekend and so here we are back to square one.

Hope you're OK. It's so draining.

I long for a full nights sleep! My brain feels foggy today from the lack of sleep, was up lots last night, he sounded snotty like he's starting with a cold 😕 not sure how I'm going to get through a full day at work!!

Ladies. It ends! Hallelujah.

My DD last had a full night's sleep on around 4th July, I worked out. For the past 2+ months we've been battling for an hour at bedtime, with her only settling with back tickles or at a push with someone being in the room with her, ideally laying down on the floor.
And then waking up anywhere between 9pm (after a 7/7.30pm bedtime) and 3am, with the same scenario - apart from as I'm pregnant I just CBA to go through it all in the night, so I brought her in with me to sleep almost every night without fail, as I know it would mean she slept.

Well.

On Saturday I was about to absolutely lose my shit at nap time - she was shattered, but just WOULD NOT lie down or even try to sleep for me. My sister had to come and put her down to nap (she'd do it for anyone but me, basically).

So in the evening - I'd been reading The Happy Sleeper and so had decided to commit to the Sleep Wave theory.

After 30 mins.... she fell asleep. By herself, after I'd left the room 🤪

She woke up at 2.45am and I went in, picked her up for a quick cuddle, laid her down, said 'night night, close your eyes, it's sleep time now, I love you' and left the room and by the time the door closed behind me she wasn't whinging anymore and soon after went back to sleep.

Last night I didn't even have to wait 30 minutes - I said the same things (after having sung a little song to her in her cot) and left the room... she settled but woke 30 mins later so I went up and did as per the night before and she went to sleep.

She woke up at 2.50am and then whinged again at 3am this morning but I followed the same routine and she went back to sleep.

She is still asleep now.... in her own cot!!!!

My life has changed.

So - don't give up, it DOES get better, it might take 2+ months but it does, and download The Happy Sleeper because that just locked it all in for me even though it was stuff I already knew really. But there are interesting things in there about not using nightlights at this age and stuff like that.
(I also bought the course of Just Chill Baby which was very interesting, but at £45 not cheap - but I was desperate 😂 - but they basically say the same thing really - I prefer The Happy Sleeper).