My son (7) can’t sleep long enough

[Lisyloo725]

Hi there ladies
I know that all parents want their kids to sleep longer, but this isn’t that. He’s almost seven. When he wakes (5:30am) he just comes downstairs and plays Lego or whatever. No bother therefore.
However, big problem is by tea time (5pm) he’s absolutely knackered. He has bags under eyes and the most worrying thing he’s been mentioning of late is that his eye is doing a throbbing thing (y’know - that thing it does when you’re suuuuper tired!).
We go up for bath about 6:15pm normally. They’re having story by 7:00 asleep by 7:10pm.

I feel like we’ve tried everything to help him sleep longer : black out curtains, even a new window (double glazed to minimise bird noises!!), larger portions at tea time, making him have an extra wee at 7:00pm.

Any ideas/help you have are massively appreciated!
X

Mine never went to bed before 8pm.
I personally would keep him up an extra 5 minutes every night until his bedtime is closer to 8pm.

Early bedtimes give early mornings.

You are way past the age of expecting 12h sleep per night. I'd expect 10h, but 9h wouldn't be unreasonable.

7pm bedtime means by 5am-6am he has had enough sleep.

What morning time are you expecting? I suspect you need to significantly change your expectations with bed time. My DD will be 7 in September. Her bed time is 8.30pm school nights, up to 9pm weekends.

I meant to add, if your DS is showing signs of exhaustion on 10.5h sleep at night, I'd consider going to the doctors. It could be a medical condition causing him to lack energy. It's unlikely he needs more sleep.

My 7 year old is still up now. Usually goes to bed around 9, up around 7. Sometimes earlier, occasionally later. If he's got up earlier a few days in the trot then he might need a slightly earlier night (say asleep by8.30).

7pm bedtime is really early if you want him to sleep past 5.30 IMO.

This is really interesting!!
Ok. Plan of attack is to keep him up longer - a bit each night - and it may shift his sleep time - but I get from your messages - not make/help him sleep longer. I will give the GP a call and get a slot to talk things over with her. Maybe it’s just a simple thing like a lack of iron (we are meat eaters, and they have Bassets bits each day)

Thanks for this all! X

Yeah if he’s up at half five he will be tired by five pm in the evening. My seven year old was waking between half seven/8 and going to sleep anytime between 8 - 9.

Mind you some nights I wouldn’t even be picking her up until 6pm so bedtime naturally was later. But also by that age evenings clubs and stuff were starting up - so you might want to push bed time back if he wants to do something in the evenings as time goes on.

Yeh you’re right.
He has a thing on Mondays 6-7, currently zoom but will be starting up properly soon. And it’s a 15min walk away. So defo later towards 8pm bedtime needed.
Just have a 3yo as well so wondering how we do bath together and then bedtime for my youngest and sneakily keep eldest up.
I can give him say half an hour Lego time - nice calm activity.

@Lisyloo725

Yeh you’re right. He has a thing on Mondays 6-7, currently zoom but will be starting up properly soon. And it’s a 15min walk away. So defo later towards 8pm bedtime needed. Just have a 3yo as well so wondering how we do bath together and then bedtime for my youngest and sneakily keep eldest up. I can give him say half an hour Lego time - nice calm activity.

I don't think it necessarily has to be sneaky, I would just explain that the eldest is older so gets to stay up a bit later now. Or he could maybe do something in his own bedroom for a little longer to keep him up, if you want the younger one to see him going 'to bed' at the same time?

Hey ladies, update on this situ. We’ve been keeping him up til 8pm but he’s now getting up earlier than before (5:15) and even more tired!
I’m at a loss 😖

Go back to the earlier bedtimes. If they work for the family then great.
As for the early wakings - I do think this changes as they get older. Things I would try:

• Supper before bed - small glass of milk and toast.
• Take him for a twilght wee - just to interrupt his natural sleep cycle
• Bribery - If he can stay in bed till 6 each day he gets X.

My kids were early risers. But my friend had really early risers like you. Her boy is a teenager now and sleeps in.

My 7 year old goes to bed at 9pm and 7:30 or 8am he is up playing, Weekends he goes 10pm still wakes up at same time.

My nearly 7 year old goes to bed at 20:30 and reads for an hour or so.. sometimes less

He wakes up bright and breezy at 07:30

Some parents have been horrified by this but it works for us. My best friend puts her children to bed at 18:30 but quite frankly I'd miss him too much

Do you have blackout curtains in his room? My son wakes up with the sun if I don't have the room completely dark regardless of what time he goes to bed.

His body clock will take a while to adjust. DS wakes at roughly the same time every morning unless he has had a lot of late nights but then he'll only sleep an extra hour at most.

How limited is screen time? I think (I've no idea where I picked this up) it can affect the amount of time slept as well as the ability to fall asleep. The zoom thing right before bed doesn't sound ideal.

Thanks for all the messages!! This morning he was up at 4:30am!! (Bed was about 7:30 the night prior).
@PhannyPharts Blackout blinds - he has blackout curtains but we could add a blind - will source ASAP.
Screen time - mostly in those mornings - he can watch 2h of tellie before we are even awake. On a school day when I work like today, apart from his pre-breakfast tellie for those lonely hours downstairs alone he doesn’t get any screen time.
@Apileofballyhoo The zoom (6-7pm) for beavers is ending now that they’re reopening so that’s a relief!
I think you’re right his body clock will take time to adjust to any change we make so I’ll try not to plot a mental graph of his sleep and wake times day by day and stress about them.
Someone at work today suggested getting him a CD player (with headphones!) and stories on CD so that he wasn’t going down and having screen time. Rather laying down listening to stories which might just might send him back off to sleep.
So CD player and blackout blind on the shopping list! 😅
Thanks again all!! X

You can use tin foil on the window as a temporary black out blind. Wipe the window with a damp cloth and it will stick.

I also agree that you shouldn't let him leave his room until a 'reasonable' time - then there is less motivation to wake or get up. He can play quietly, read a book, or listen to CD with headphones. (you can get good price CD's on ebay).

Move his TV time to after school.

Good luck.

Hi there. We have exactly the same problem with our 7 year old. In bed at 7, wakes any time between 2 and 5 and is then awake for the day and can't get to sleep. Perpetually exhausted and falling over. All bloods normal, GP has referred to sleep clinic but appointment is in 2022!! We have tried everything in this thread so far and more. Following for any more advice.

Hey up op, are you sure he's not getting up early because he can watch TV and play Lego?! It sounds like he's having a very nice time!

My Dd aged 6 has had a lot of sleep issues. I came on to say a weighted blanket has helped her. But actually I think your sons issues might be behavioural - which my Dd's also were. He is old enough to understand he can't get up at that time!! I think take away the Lego and TV (take the remote to bed with you?!), tell him he's not to get out of bed until 6am, maybe do a reward chart or button jar system when he gets enough he can choose some new logo or whatever.

Hi @Orangeinmybluelightcup the weighted blanket is another idea thanks for that but I agree with you. He’s having a great time - full control of the tellie for 2h!!! We’ll defo work on keeping him in his room.
Interesting @confuseddotcomma that you got your DCs bloods checked. I wondered about speaking to the doc but don’t want to push things too far before we’ve tried everything. Sounds like you have.

Thanks again for all the support mumsnetters!! You’re ace!

This might seem controversial but what about putting him to bed a bit earlier? Dd is 6 but really still needs at least 11 hours a night and can sleep more at times. If he's exhausted by 5pm, he's not getting enough sleep. Try putting him to bed at 630. Dd is a good sleeper but when she gets over tired, wakes up earlier. A late bedtime often leads to her waking up earlier than normal.

Thanks @SpaceOp it’s another tho g to try!
The blackout blind went up today so I’ll update in a few days as to the effect 🤞🏼🤞🏼

Good luck. Dd went to bed late last night and was awake at 730 this morning. Friday night she was in bed by 830 and I had to wake her at 8am....

Yes my almost 7 and 8 year old go to bed at 8. Saying that they can be falling asleep before 8 so I do understand why people do the 7 o clock thing!

Explain he is getting up too early and that means he's going to bed quite early. And that means he's going to miss out on things like the after school activities, maybe sleepovers too. So you want him to go back to bed when he wakes up at 5.30 and go back to sleep til 7.

Take the remote to bed with you so he can't watch TV if he does wake up.

I always found sleep begets sleep to be quite good advice for babies so maybe it would work for your DS?

Rather than keeping him up until 8/8.30pm, why not send him for an afternoon nap at 3.30/4 just before he starts to get exhausted? Wake him at around 5/5.30 just before dinner. That should give him the energy to stay up later and hopefully you can 'reset bedtime to be a later time.