Nearly 8 month old. Sleep deprivation making me ill, please help

[Birdy1991]

I am so sleep deprived that I don't know if my mental health can take any more. Please someone give me some practical advice as I am so tired I can't think straight for myself.

My daughter is nearly 8 months and has always been a terrible sleeper. The best night we've ever had she still woke every three hours for a feed. It's been normal for her to wake every 1-2 hours and this has been the case since she was four months old. Recently, milk won't settle her back to sleep and she will cry a few moments after I put her down again. Myself and my partner can be up and down all night. The last couple of nights have involved inconsolable crying which is so hard to listen to.

For daytime naps she has to be walked or rocked to sleep but naps are generally better. Her longest stretch of sleep is usually in the evening which is around 7-9pm, but it can be worse. She sleeps on us during the daytime and a moses basket in the evening (she is a small baby), which she has nearly outgrown. It makes me full of anxiety to think about what to do when she outgrows this because it has a rocking stand and she needs rocking when she gets unsettled. She slept in her cot for a few weeks but started getting her legs stuck between the bars and her head gets stuck, so I moved her back to the moses basket and now I'm worried to change things again. I lack so much confidence.
My partner and I disagree on things like this, I want to move her to her own room as our bed is squeaky and I think he disturbs her with his snoring, but he says it would be stupid as we would be up and down all night. I don't know if it would be worth giving it a chance to see if it would help.

I'm so tired, I suffer from postnatal depression and everything is really getting on top of me. I long for my old, easier life and wish I could be working again. I have woken up sneezing with a cold and headache every day for the past three months. I had a long and traumatic 3 day labour during the August heatwave and she was delivered via emergency caesarean so I started off her life being utterly exhausted. I have a nice HV but she hasn't been that much help. My relationship with my partner is suffering and I dread going to bed. Someone please reassure me this ends and tell me what to do .

Sleep training teaches the infant how to fall asleep and stay asleep on his or her own. Isn’t it easier than you thought?

Parents sometimes ask how to say if their child requires sleep training or if their sleeping patterns are normal.

a more restful sleeper And, as Melissa pointed out, she began sleep training the second time around when she could see her son was just as upset as she was with his lack of sleep!

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@Birdy1991 it will get better. I was in the same position with DD, but for us 10 months was particularly horrific and when I hit absolute rock bottom with lack of sleep.

We were quite late in putting her into her own room because we moved house and didn't want to disrupt her twice but it definitely helped when we did. We also bought a white noise machine which helped too.

From that point on she gradually got better and the gaps between wakings increased. The breakthrough came at 13.5 months when she suddenly started sleeping through consistently, we're not sure why but she obviously got there in her own time. At that point I'd resigned myself to broken nights for the foreseeable future so it was a nice surprise and after 2 months of improved sleep I feel so much better.

It will get better, it's just a question of when not if. Hang in there.

8-9 months here were HORRENDOUS. Please hang in there, you may be very close to getting longer stretches of sleep. Our DD started sleeping longer stretches from 12 months and they got progressively longer until she started sleeping through around 14-15 months. It was a combination of her starting to walk and starting nursery. Or just developemental.

I would also try her in her own room. For us it definitely helped.
Good luck x

I’d go for sleep training. Isn’t for everyone but 2 nights of CC and our DD was going from waking every hour or 2 to sleeping through the night

I would try night weaning and some gentle sleep training. You don’t need to use cio or cc. As others have said there are very gentle methods where you add a new sleep association such as patting and then slowly reduce the other sleep associations such as rocking or feeding.

Are things any better OP?

I would absolutely put her in her own room and do sleep training (returning after 2 min, then 2 mins, then 3 and so on till she settles).

Worked for my son and he never cried for longer than 6 mins straight (fell asleep in the 7 mins tiny and slept through) which was WAY less than he usually cried due to being tired.

I wouldn't do it with a tiny baby but 8 months - she needs you to do this.