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Original poster

Sleep deprivation torture

39 replies

ThankGodForChocolate · 02/03/2021 05:27

I don't even know what I think I will achieve from this thread but I don't know what else to do. Im sure my 2.5 year old was sent here to see how much I could take before I have some kind of breakdown. Since birth the amount of times dc has slept through the night I can count on 2 hands. A typical night for us includes 2-3 wakings between 12-4 and then we are wide awake between 4:30-5:30 EVERYDAY. Aside from just being awake and this ungodly hour my dc is also cranky so by 5am its constant screaming in my ear because the TV is wrong or there's no ice cream for breakfast and I can't go anywhere without dc clinging to my leg and wanting to be carried. I am so exhausted at this point that everything is suffering. My older dc suffers because I am always tired, cranky and at the end of my tether. I also spend 5/7 mornings a week crying because I just don't know what to do and I get no joy from anything anymore because I can't think past being tired. I have spoken to the health visitor before who just suggested leaving dc to cry, which obviously doesn't work, have tried rousing him before I go to bed to change his sleep cycle. Still naps in the day, have tried shortening this but that didn't help either. So if anyone has any ideas, please throw them at me because I am literally drowning here

OP posts:
whatsoccuringnow · 02/03/2021 06:07

It's so hard, I remember it well. My DS was almost 3 when he started sleeping through.
Can you go to bed very early? That's what I did when I could. Like 7pm! The reverse of a lie on. It was the only thing I could do.

Original poster
ThankGodForChocolate · 02/03/2021 06:43

@whatsoccuringnow unfortunately not, I work evenings which doesn't help 😭

OP posts:
orangejuicer · 02/03/2021 06:48

Is your DC in a toddler bed or cot still? Just asking on the off chance, moving my DS to a bed has reduced the waking down to one and he sleeps better and later. I think he was just cold in his sleeping bag and it was harder to regulate the temperature.

Maltay · 02/03/2021 06:55

Same here I'm on about my tenth episode of Tayo this morning and about to start an 11 hour shift..... Can you send them to nursery and tire them out? I told nursery to stop naps and that has generally improved things.. I know it's cheating getting nursery to do it but when we're home together I wanted a nap as much as she did!

sproutsnbacon · 02/03/2021 07:02

I had this problem, occasionally it still happens. Enough food during the the day and making sure he is warm enough. DS has a thick feather quilt. Put them to bed later as well then they wake at6 not 4. I don’t find naps a problem but ds does have a late bedtime

Frazzledd · 02/03/2021 07:10

I've 2&3 year old Dds who are tag teaming on sleep atm and feel your pain...went 72 hours without an hour sleep last week- they're also a million miles an hour and at an age where they both have very different needs (my 3 year old was on my back yesterday shouting 'go bullseye!!!', 2 year old wanted a snuggle and a story...)

I'm ignoring advice right now as everything is basically 'do more!!!'....I'm doing everything and trying to be everything and on no sleep, I'm ZombieMum with a smile that's starting to look scary and pray to caffeine...

Flowers for you!

GLTM · 02/03/2021 07:11

It might be worth speaking to the Dr to rule out medical reasons for frequent wakings. Then try a sleep consultant. Good luck

Original poster
ThankGodForChocolate · 02/03/2021 07:35

@orangejuicer in the cot, has a single bed in the room but no interest in it whatsoever and I'm not sure I have the patience to do the putting them back in 3 million times a night.

@Maltay I would love to, unfortunately we can't afford it, have tried stopping naps altogether and that just added more meltdowns in the day.

@sproutsnbacon will try adding a blanket in the cot and see if that helps, later bedtimes also don't work I tried that a few weeks back!

@Frazzledd I feel your pain! I hate being told to do more, as well meaning as people are "have you taken them out for a walk, that will tire them out" gets old really quick when it definitely doesn't tire them out 😫

@GLTM Dr is my next port of call but I'm expecting to be told there's not much they will do. Not sure we can afford a sleep consultant

OP posts:
chickadeeeeeeeee · 02/03/2021 07:42

You have my sympathy my dd used to do the same

It will pass

I used to go to bed early sometimes when kids did, I see this may not be possible due to your job

Do whatever you need to save your sanity, it will pass SadSmile

Whereland · 02/03/2021 07:42

Oh god 😩 I've been there and it is TORTURE and I know when you're in it you absolutely can't see it improving.

Can you afford a sleep consultant at all? I resisted for a long time but when a friend of mine used one and got great results I gave in. And I wish I'd done it sooner. It really helped. Just to have an objective person look at our overall daily schedule from meals to naps to bedtime routine. It was so helpful.

That's not to say it was easy, it wasn't. But we got there

Frazzledd · 02/03/2021 07:43

What medical reasons/tests would they perform on a 2 year old for frequent wakings?? My 2 year olds molars are coming through, so that's bothering her....but seriously interested how you would present this to a GP? A sleep consultant for a baby also?

Whereland · 02/03/2021 07:55

Sorry just saw you said you're not sure you can. Can you give us an idea of what your day looks like? Wake times, nap, meal times, bed routine?

Whereland · 02/03/2021 07:55

My little boy was almost 3 when we got the sleep consultant so might be able to give some tips according to what she had us do

yearinyearout · 02/03/2021 08:01

thesleepcharity.org.uk/

Is there anything on here that might help? I know they do courses that have to be paid for but probably cost a lot less than a sleep consultant.

Lotsofpots · 02/03/2021 08:07

We had a one-off session with a sleep consultant about my 2.5yo. When I have a moment I'll try and summarise what she said. It took some time (she takes a "gentle" approach so slower going) but it worked.
The Lucy Wolfe book is also v good. I have a copy I'm happy to send if you'd find it helpful?

Lotsofpots · 02/03/2021 08:08

Also, it's fucking torture and makes you feel like a dreadful parent because you're either cross in the night or tired and cross in the day. Solidarity.

Frazzledd · 02/03/2021 08:08

@Whereland was the sleep consultant a game changer, did it help that much? Now actually considering this myself....

Following this to see if I can make the suggestions work x 2 🤞!

Whereland · 02/03/2021 09:51

Game changer seems a strong term, I'd say it was really helpful but of course he still has his moments! I was really doubtful that it would help as he was almost 3. And I think that did go against us that we were trying to break habits that were three years in the making!
But it has definitely helped an awful lot. He goes to sleep by himself and if he wakes just needs to be walked back to bed. Previously I could've been sitting with him or climbing into his tiny bed with him.
I would say try to get one personally recommended to you. There are so many out there. On Instagram look up sleepy stars and babogue, lots of helpful videos

Whereland · 02/03/2021 10:04

One of the most surprising things I took from it was an earlier bedtime often does this trick- this early goes against what you would think, we were dealing with 5am wake ups too and I was terrified an earlier bedtime would mean a 4am wake up!! But amazingly it helped. When he dropped his nap he is often ready for bed by 6.30/6.45. And he'll sleep til 6.30am!

Original poster
ThankGodForChocolate · 02/03/2021 10:45

Thank you all for the replies, just homeschooling at the moment so will come back in a while with better replies but I will have a Google today and see about sleep consultants. Our day generally looks like
4:30-5:30 wake up
Milk straight away followed by breakfast

10ish fruit snack
10:45-11 nap, I usually cap it at 1hr30- 1h45 as I trialled less and it made for a miserable afternoon

12:45 lunch

2:00 afternoon snack but mot every day

5:30ish dinner
6 bath
6:45 milk
7-7:30 bed generally closer to 7

Will be back in a while to read the rest properly!

OP posts:
Midnightmusing · 02/03/2021 10:48

Try pushing the nap back to 12-2. An early nap can encourage early waking.

Whereland · 02/03/2021 10:53

Yep I second pushing the nap out a bit. Also the milk and breakfast on waking could also be encouraging the early wake up. Can you stay upstairs in a dark room as long as possible? I know this can be really hard if they are demanding to get up and go downstairs.
A gro clock has been really useful too but guessing your little one is too young to fully understand it yet but maybe no harm introducing it and setting it to an acceptable time and repeating "we don't go downstairs until the sun comes up". So setting it for something like 5.30/5.45 at first to make it in some way achievable

Harrykanesrightsock · 02/03/2021 10:57

We recorded our house during the day and played it on a loop on the laptop we realised it was the quiet that she didn’t like and just fell back to sleep if she could hear us.

Original poster
ThankGodForChocolate · 02/03/2021 12:49

I will try pushing the nap, should I do lunch before or after? Don't think noise is an issue as we live on a main road so there is always noise outside

OP posts:
Whereland · 02/03/2021 13:38

I'd say lunch before so they're going to sleep on a full tummy

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