Sleep deprivation torture

[ThankGodForChocolate]

I don't even know what I think I will achieve from this thread but I don't know what else to do. Im sure my 2.5 year old was sent here to see how much I could take before I have some kind of breakdown. Since birth the amount of times dc has slept through the night I can count on 2 hands. A typical night for us includes 2-3 wakings between 12-4 and then we are wide awake between 4:30-5:30 EVERYDAY. Aside from just being awake and this ungodly hour my dc is also cranky so by 5am its constant screaming in my ear because the TV is wrong or there's no ice cream for breakfast and I can't go anywhere without dc clinging to my leg and wanting to be carried. I am so exhausted at this point that everything is suffering. My older dc suffers because I am always tired, cranky and at the end of my tether. I also spend 5/7 mornings a week crying because I just don't know what to do and I get no joy from anything anymore because I can't think past being tired. I have spoken to the health visitor before who just suggested leaving dc to cry, which obviously doesn't work, have tried rousing him before I go to bed to change his sleep cycle. Still naps in the day, have tried shortening this but that didn't help either. So if anyone has any ideas, please throw them at me because I am literally drowning here

Yes after lunch for nap, but lunch can be early around 11.30. You may need to work gradually over a few days to change the time. I’d also suggest an even earlier bedtime for a while. Know there’s the fear of even earlier waking, so not long term, but early waking can be a sign of overtiredness and trying to get him well rested should help night sleep. What do you do when he wakes in the night? I’m also a fan of Lucy Wolfe, her book gives v clear instructions.

@yearinyearout click here isn't working for me.

I have looked at a few sleep consultants and unfortunately not something we can afford. I just feel like an awful parent I have no energy or motivation to engage with dc during the day, even the most simple tasks require a serious pep talk to get done. People have been saying it will get better since dc was a baby and its not better yet just feel like there's no end in sight

I could have written your post in December. I thought my child was going to kill me. It’s terrible and you have my utmost sympathy.

We stopped napping altogether. I figured she was up more in the night/pissing about going to bed/waking at 5am than she had in her nap anyway so total volume of sleep would be roughly the same.

It took a few weeks of grumpiness, especially after 4pm and if she did nod off I let her have a short cat nap but within a month she seemed to have realised that day is for fun and night is for sleeping.

@merename I know being over tired can lead to early waking so we did bring forward bed time a little but I will try bringing it to 6:45 maybe with the later nap. I will start tomorrow and update if I ever get any sleep! When he wakes I usually wait 5 minutes and see if he goes back to sleep, sometimes he does, most times he shouts for me and just bawls so I generally go in and sit with my back to the cot, if he's really going for it for over 10inutes I pick him/pat his back up so he doesn't wake the whole house plus the longer he's awake the harder it is to get him back down

Sounds good. In Lucy Wolfe advice there is something about not more than a certain number of hrs between end of nap and bed, being important, and the gap between morning wake and nap less so.

And what is it he wants in the night? It may be appropriate to give him a cuddle, settle him and back down, or whatever reassurance, but you know him best. What does he say about it? Would he be amenable to rewards? Like a small treat if he stays in bed? Another thing is I’d try treating the morning wake as a night wake, and not let him out of the room before 6. May result in an even shitter few nights for you in the short term, but start to train his body/mind out of this timetable.

Also op, I still have a MN thread bookmarked from years ago that helped me so much when I had sleep horrors with my second, and led to me doing gradual retreat method, worth a read?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

@merename it's not always the same thing, sometimes just putting the comforter back in reach because it's at the end of the cot, other times a cuddle and a rock is all that will work. I try the being there and not touching, rocking etc until the screaming last more than 10 minutes, I'm conscious that staying in the room will wake everyone up at 4:30 because when I shut the living room downstairs screaming and banging on the door ensues like a wild animal! I will try and make sure our bedtime routine is tight too we generally alternate because of work schedules so I will make sure we are both on the same page

@ThankGodForChocolate how are things now?

@Whereland I have very waiting update just incase its a fluke, but we have made progress! Nap time is now at 12:15-13:30 and bedtime at 7 with a consistent routine and he has slept through twice, other night he has woken and self soothed 🤗 I've only had to go in once, mornings are a bit hit and miss but we've had after 5am so I can live with that. Thank you for all your advice. Its amazing how much better I feel already!

Really hope this is the start of the end for you. As a chronic insomniac you have my full sympathy, being sleep deprived is the literal pits.

So glad to hear of an improvement! My two are generally quite good at the moment two. And I just found out I'm pregnant with number 3 so I have some more sleep deprivation to look forward to 😂

@Whereland congratulations! Rather you than me! I told my other half I don't want anymore children because sleep is like gold dust now and I'm never willingly giving it up again!

Haha I know I'm probably a bit crazy, we're finally sleeping and now going back to it again..

@Whereland at least you know all the tips and tricks now though that hopefully you won't have to suffer too much!