Sleepyhead in Next to Me - please reassure me

[iamverytired]

After 3 nights of baby waking up every 30-45 minutes I put the sleepyhead inside the cot this morning and he slept for over 2 hours, it was the first time in 3 days I felt like I'd been asleep! I feel worried about not following safe sleep guidelines. I just want some reassurance that this isn't as dangerous as I'm worrying it is.

He's only 13 weeks - is this too early to have entered the 4 month sleep regression? He's never been a good sleeper anyway but waking this often is new! He has started to roll as well.

I feel your pain but they are not recommended by the Lullaby Trust. Do you think he would sleep better in a moses basket? They are smaller, more enclosed than a Next to Me crib & possibly give a similar sensation to a Sleepyhead.
Also, my midwife suggested rolling a blanket into a sausage shape and then putting it above the baby's head. So you almost have the top part of the Sleepyhead but not the parts that come down by the face.

I had him in his pram basket so very similar to a moses basket for the first few weeks as he wouldn't settle in the next to me, but he looked too big in it after a while and when he startled his arms would whack the sides of it. I've had him in a swaddle sleeping bag until a week ago but he seemed frustrated as he just wants his hands in his mouth the whole time and he would roll around trying to break free, so I decided that a swaddle bag was no longer safe either. That's probably got something to do with it. Hoping he grows out of the startle reflex soon.

I can't really imagine wanting to leave a rolled blanket in the cot either, surely that's not following the Lullaby Trust guidance by having something in the cot?

@iamverytired have you looked at a swaddleup if he wants his hands up?

It’s not that every person who lets their baby sleep in a sleep positioner has their baby die in their sleep BUT it’s found that when babies have died in their sleep it happens when there are things like.. sleep positioners/cot bumpers/duvets and so on.

Since the outcome is so harrowing, it’s something that most just avoid. Of course you never know what happens in someone’s house behind closed doors though.

@Northernbeachbum he's started to roll so I can't use any swaddle bags now. Plus he would probably shove his swaddled hands in his mouth and soak the sleeping bag so I find it best to leave his hands out now - I don't even use the built in mittens on his sleep suits to keep his hands warm now as they just get all wet

Perhaps you need to consider what a 'good' sleeper is. Babies aren't meant to sleep like adults. Instead of using something you know is not recommended, perhaps consider other coping strategies.

This is a useful website

@HowToSurviveChristmas I was coping having to feed him 3-4 times a night and only getting 2-3 hour stretches at a time and I know that's fairly normal. I just can't manage with what's been happening the last few days - he falls asleep on the boob so the first 10-15 minutes of his sleep cycle are on me (if I put him down too soon then he's awake immediately and we start over again), and then he only sleeps another half an hour or so, and I spent a lot of the time with my hand in the cot stroking his head when he startles to try and keep him asleep, so I'm lucky if I fall asleep myself before he wakes again. I want to be able to put him down to self settle and not rely on feeding to sleep but I don't know where to begin/the thought of how hard and tiring it's going to be is putting me off

HowTo if someone had written your post for me when I was in the same place as the OP I would have either cried or given them a good smack. I don’t bloody care how “normal” it is for babies to wake up every 45 minutes - one of my children was a crap sleeper for years and it nearly broke us. Telling the OP basically to suck it up is deeply unhelpful.

To the OP - my non sleeper slept better in a Sleepyhead in our bedside cot. That was when the Sleepyhead was fairly new and I don’t think there were guidelines from the Lullaby trust about sleepnpositioners then. To be honest I am not sure what we would have done had there been advice against them - it was the only thing that made a damn piece of difference and I was certainly not safe to function on so little sleep. However, by 13 weeks my crap sleeper was rolling and we had to ditch the sleepyhead for overnights.

Huge sympathy, there’s nothing as soul destroying as no sleep.

@iamverytired

I can't really imagine wanting to leave a rolled blanket in the cot either, surely that's not following the Lullaby Trust guidance by having something in the cot?

I think if the blanket is cellular it's ok? Check though!

My son was in a sleepyhead in my bed when he was tiny.

I used the blanket sausage idea as it was recommended by my midwife and I think its ok because the baby can't move yet.
Regarding swaddle bags, I used something called a snuggle bag (GroBag but they're now under Tommee Tippee) which allows arms to be free.
www.tommeetippee.com/en-gb/product/the-original-grobag-grofriends-snuggle-twin-pack-0-4-3-9m

We just co sleep with baby. Feed him side lying and co slept. Got so much more sleep but appreciate it's not for everyone

@mistletoeandsigh yes, a cellular one. I'd forgotten!

My goodness, I think every guideline went out of the window with us.

My Baby slept on me for the first 4 weeks (wouldn’t sleep anywhere else) He did have a foot sensor so I felt slightly more reassured but the lack of sleep was making me delirious. I was having heart palpitations and fainted a couple of times. Found out I had anaemia.

I slept propped up. We were so worried in the beginning about something awful happening that my husband and I slept in 3 hour shifts for 3 weeks so one of us was always awake to check the baby was ok. Thank goodness that stage is over. He then went into his Moses basket like a dream.

Not really great advice but I sympathise with you.

I'm not saying do what we did cause you have to make your own choice. Guidelines should be followed.

However, we put a sleepyhead in the next to me crib and he slept like a dream. We also use a movement sensor pad which reassured us. Again, not everyone is comfortable trusting them but we did.

Once he could roll, we stopped using it.

I have co slept at 5/6am onwards a few times but I really don't sleep well with it (and don't like being without my duvet on my upper half as it's usually tucked right in under my neck!) But it is frustrating as he settles on the bed immediately and sleeps so well! Just don't think it would be for me throughout the night.

I always said I wouldn't get a sleepyhead but by the time my baby was 12 weeks I had two. My son had undiagnosed cmpa and was not sleeping well at night so I tried him in the sleepyhead in his snuzpod and he slept so much better. I know what the guidelines state but I made the decision as otherwise it was him falling asleep on me which in my opinion was worse.

He's now 24 weeks and I've finally removed it as he was thrashing around in it at night and clearly wanted to roll over. He's now rolling around in his cot and keeping me awake with his night time gymnastics

Ultimately sleepyheads are not recommended by the lullaby trust but you have to make your own decision. For me it saved my sanity and I would make the same decision again.

@Sarahlouise86 this is what I'm thinking - what's worse, me falling asleep on the bed with him in my arms or using the sleephead? He can roll front to back, and onto his side from his back but not quite rolling over onto his front yet. I have a feeling it wont be long though 😕

We did have a sleepyhead (back before the guidelines changed), we also had a bedside crib (and continued to sidecar the big crib with the side off once she was in that). I used to feed to sleep and then try to slide her into the crib, but quite often I'd end up leaving her on our mattress and moving away from her (big bed).

She was a very robust baby so I probably accepted things I wouldn't do for a smaller/less robust baby.

I hope you find a safe way that works for you

We used it till the baby didn’t fit anymore for over nights in a bedside crib and it was totally fine. As a matter of fact our nicu recommended it when the baby was discharged, she wouldn’t settle in the crib without it as they used something similar in there!

We put the moses basket in the next to me. This worked as it feels 'closer' and cosier than the big next to me cot when they are newborn. About 8 weeks old then just used the next to me. We also wrapped the blankets tighter but notquite swaddled

Personally I would not use a rolled blanket or a sleepyhead.

'Personally I would not use a rolled blanket or a sleepyhead.'

Me either - especially if the baby can roll.

Not worth the risk at all.

I sound unsympathetic, and I'm not, I currently have a 13 month old who wakes multiple times a night and I remember the awfulness of the early days well. I stayed awake and watched Netflix and felt like a zombie.

I think at 13 weeks you can still swaddle him if it works.
Rolling over is one thing but it's harder to roll when swaddled.

My baby is 7 months next week and still in a swaddle, he won't sleep without it as he still startles and rubs his face. He can certainly roll both ways and sits unaided but in the swaddle he doesn't move.

I use a thin zip up swaddle (sleepea) then a blanket tucked it tightly over him. The cot is still next to my bed so if he was trying to move I would wake up.

I am starting to transition because soon enough the swaddle won't fit. I've never used a sleep positioner or sleepyhead device but swaddling and securing baby with a tight sheet or blanket have always worked for my 3.

Does your baby like white noise? I bought an Ollie the owl this time around which has a cry sensor and rechargeable battery- amazing invention!

OP, you have to weigh up the risks for yourself here. I am cosleeping, and it does get easier/more comfy over time. There is some evidence that cosleeping, even done safely is riskier than baby sleeping alone in the cot. But my baby would not sleep in her cot. So I was weighing up the risks of cosleeping against being so sleep deprived I crashed my car or fell asleep with her on the sofa. Whilst the safe sleeping advice is invaluable, I think it has at times been simplistic because it doesn't account for babies simply refusing to stay asleep on their own in a cot (and I'm talking waking every 15 mins not every 2-3 hours). Weigh up your options and risks and try and think outside the box, can you take shifts, have family help etc.

We used a sleepyhead because I was on my knees. I put a motion monitor under it and it was in a side car cot next to me.