Ginger that's incredibly helpful and insightful and wonderful and thank you for taking the time to think about it and write that to me. It means a lot. Really.
I just spoke with nanny and had the conversation you suggested. She said she is happy and she knows she doesn't have to do everything all of the time but gets bored when DS is napping, so she does it. She didn't mean to give DH the impression that she was unhappy. Oh, and she understands that I am tired in the morning so no worries about feeling rude, etc.
DH...I am reluctant to let him do the nights because he has a sleep disorder that makes it v. hard for him to wake up (one night the house alarm was going off AND the baby was crying, and he didn't even move ). Plus because I am away during the day, and DS isn't crazy about the bottle, he only drinks 6 oz while I am gone and I bf like mad in the evening and throughout the night. I think I've got myself into quite a pickle there, not sure how to maneuver out of it EXCEPT that my mother is coming to live with us, so I think between her and me we can tag team through the night. December 1 is the day my life will start getting back to some semblance of normalcy (I hope).
You're so right about feeling completely out of sorts and needing some time. I was just telling a friend that sometimes I wish I could stage an accident involving a falling tree or striking lightning so I could have a legit reason to call into work for a week and lay in bed and watch television with DS for days....