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Original poster

Please help me..

29 replies

ellasmum · 25/09/2002 01:56

I am in desperate need of some help before I go completely mad.

DD has started to sleep through the night every few nights. However on the nights that she wakes up, she screams for several hours and I don;t know why.

I am very depressed about this (PND kicking in quite late - going to doctors re. this tomorrow) and really need some answers.

I know that she can settle herself so why on some nights does she scream for hours. If I pick her up she will calm down then cry when she goes back in the cot. If we leave her to cry it literally never ends. I know that she is not hungry as she drinks plenty during the day.

As I write this she is screaming her head off and has been for an hour and a half and nothing myself or DP seems to help.

What makes it so frustrating is that she slept through the night the last 2 nights which somehow makes the wakeups even worse.

I need to know why she is waking up on some nights and not others. I hope someone can help me before I drive myself insane.

OP posts:
robinw · 25/09/2002 04:08

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Original poster
ellasmum · 25/09/2002 07:32

Update from last night.

DP and I had a huge row after she had been crying for over 2 hours. He wanted to feed her, I said that wasn't the problem. Anyway, I gave in and she drank over 7 oz. DOes this mean she was hungry and I am the worst mother ever??? She had drunk over 30 oz during the day.

Of course she then carried on crying so I took her into our bed (which I don't ever do as it doesn't usually have any effect). She finally fell asleep after 3 hours of being awake. Poor thing has tiny bags under her eyes this morning.

I suppose it could be reflux or that she is cold - I am driving myself mad asking why she wakes up for such a long time.

Sorry to be ranting on here, but it is good to get things down in writing.

OP posts:
robinw · 25/09/2002 07:40

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Original poster
ellasmum · 25/09/2002 07:44

Robinw - don't use a dummy - she never took one.

She is in a sleeping bag so no covers being kicked off. Don't think she is too warm as it was even warmer in our bed when she went to sleep.

Don't think it is reflux as she eats at the same time every night and will sleep through in some cases.

I guess we will have to stick this out every few nights.

How did you sort out your DD's sleep problems?

OP posts:
Bozza · 25/09/2002 08:54

Nto thought of any advice yet Ellasmum but I can really sympathise. Sounds like both you and your DP are suffering from sleep depravation - particularly you. I agree with Robin that this is probably feeding your feelings of depression. Also maybe you find it difficult to relax on the other evenings because you can never be sure what sort of night it is going to be.

How old is she? Is she teething?

Original poster
ellasmum · 25/09/2002 09:05

Bozzza - you are spot on about my ability to relax. I do not sleep well even if DD sleeps right through as I am always anticipating her waking up.

I do not feel depressed during the day, it is just at night when I am unable to cope with all the crying. Think it is definitely lack of sleep that is causing this.

DD is 5.5 months - I thought she was teething and have been giving her the Nelsons Teetha rememdy but no sign of teeth yet. Would teething cause her to wakeup only on a few nights?

OP posts:
Copper · 25/09/2002 09:26

ellasmum
about the other night when you had the row - I don't suppose she was hungry when she woke up, but after all that crying she was probably starving and with a sore throat (I wonder if it does hurt babies to cry like that? I expect it does). So you were probably right in your initial reading of the circumstances, but they changed and she got hungry. Does it make any difference if she is more active in the day? May make her hungrier at nighttime.
If you pick her up quite quickly, and give her a feed, does she still cry for ages when she goes back down or for a shorter time?
Huge sympathy for you - tiredness like that is like a glass wall between you and the rest of existence. Been ther, done that - and eventually came out the other side.

Bozza · 25/09/2002 09:55

5.5 months is still quite young so her not sleeping through is not too much of an issue. Its the fact that when she does wake she is so inconsolable and can't be settled that is the big issue IMO. How does she settle at bedtime? Can you repeat any part of the bedtime routine? I think I already read to my son at that age! Or you could try a musical lullaby thing or one of those light and sound thingies. Otherwise seek help. Talk to your health visitor, get referred to a sleep clinic, whatever it takes. It is affecting your health.

karenanne · 25/09/2002 10:08

is she on solids yet.when my daughter was 4 and a half months she had been sleeping through the night for a few weeks then all of a sudden started waking again every night .i tried all the ususal things and it didnt work so in the end talked to my hv and she advised to start her on some solids,it worked and she was back sleeping through the night within a few days.
i always think its worse when they start waking up again if youve gone a while with unbroken sleep...well it is for me anyway!!!!

Original poster
ellasmum · 25/09/2002 12:25

Karenanne - she is on solids and am now wondering if it was something she ate that made her have a sore tummy???

Bozza - she goes down really well at nightime, she has a bath, then a bottle then into her cot and she goes off really quickly. Sometimes I read to her but usually she seems too tired to be interested.

She has been really windy all morning so I am wondering if her tea last night was the problem - although she wasn't windy in the night.

Who knows what it was??? She has been with a friends nanny this morning for the first time so I managed to get a bit more sleep thank God. Although DD didn't have a nap at all and has just completely zonked out in her cot with no fuss which is very unusual for lunchtime.

OP posts:
monkey · 25/09/2002 13:08

could also be ear infection? My ds's first few he had no other symptoms other than screaming incolsolably at night (much more pain lying down) He didn't have a tempterature, didn't tug his ears. It was awful. The first sign was when his ear drum burst. Not nice & I felt soooo guilty.

after a few, we learnt to pick them up a bit easier.

Good luck - I know how desperate this can make you feel, and the arguments with dh....
I'll be thinking of you tonight

Tillysmummy · 25/09/2002 13:31

ellasmum, my dd sleeps through some nights and wakes crying several times other nights. This doesn't last for long normally a bit of soothing etc. Your dd could well wake from teeth pain my dd is definitely bad some nights with teeth and others she is fine.

If you are not anti dummies why don't you try again. My dd would never take one until about 4 monhts and now she has it when she sleeps and it helps incredibly to soothe her and she chews on it for her teeth.

Hope it gets better

pupuce · 25/09/2002 21:37

Ellasmum... what does she eat and when ? Can you give a bit more info ?

Personnally, I would stay off the dummy... if she wants to suck she is now able to find her thumb. Sorry for those pro-dummies but I feel that introducing a dummy at this stage can equal to trouble later.

Could she be teething ?
How long has this long crying been going on for ? She could be going through a growth spurt which does make her hungrier (remember that at her age... her calories come from milk not solids even if the solids take longer to digest and therefore may make you think that she isn't hungry)

ionesmum · 25/09/2002 21:53

Ellasmum, loads of sympathy. Definitely think that tiredness has a lot to do with some PND. One thing that always soothed our dd was a bath, even at one or two a.m. It always stopped her crying, and usually she'd be more settled after providing she didn't get cold. When I say a bath, I mean that dh or I would run a warm bath and get in with her, and just hold her or let her splash around.

Original poster
ellasmum · 26/09/2002 12:24

Hi..

Last night was sooo much better, she went to sleep no problem and slept right through till 6.40am. THANK GOODNESS!!!

I am beginning to think it had been the carrot she had the night before that made her wakeup - might not have been but I am going to steer clear for the time being.

Pupuce - she eats her solids at about 5.15pm, usually about 3 cubes of veg and then some pureed fruit for pudding. She then has last bottle at about 6.30pm - about 9oz.

Re. teething - I have been thinking she is teething for 2 weeks - does it take this long for one to come through??

Monkey - I had thought that it could be an ear infection but seeing as she sleeps some nights and not others I have ruled it out. Although I am going to take her to the doctor next week just in case.

OP posts:
Bozza · 26/09/2002 12:29

Ellasmum it can take a while for a tooth but I would have thought you would have seen some signs by now - red gums, a white bump etc. Other signs are red cheeks and extra dribbling.

Original poster
ellasmum · 26/09/2002 13:00

She has been dribbling at lot for several weeks now but still no sign of any teeth. Maybe it is just very slow at popping through. Also, not really very red cheeks so I am beginning to think she is not teething, just has very active salivary glands.

OP posts:
pupuce · 26/09/2002 13:49

My kids NEVER had red cheecks when teething....so don't let that fool you !

Bozza · 26/09/2002 13:58

DS did sometimes but not others. Just trying to suggest signs.

robinw · 27/09/2002 05:38

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ionesmum · 27/09/2002 22:51

Ellasmum, I think that my dd has been waking up because she's cold. I put an extra layer on her last night and she was much more settled. I should have realised - she was settling in the warm bed but waking in the cold cot. I just thought I'd say in case your dd might be a bit nippy, the night temperatures are really dipping now.

Original poster
ellasmum · 28/09/2002 07:40

Robinw - I am amazed that you lasted 11 months before you cried in the surgery. I have huge admiration for you!!!

Ionesmum - I have also put an extra layer on DD so will see what happens - last night wasn't too bad so it could be the solution.

OP posts:
Bozza · 28/09/2002 13:48

Here's hoping Ellasmum...

ionesmum · 28/09/2002 23:00

Hope so Ellasmum

robinw · 30/09/2002 07:17

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