Is breastfeeding and sleep really compatible?

[mimmi91]

Hello fellow mums!

How strange to be posting on Mumsnet again, last time I did was almost a year ago when I needed confirmation of a 2nd faint line on my pregnancy test

Anyway, I am now the proud mother of a 10 week old little girl. And obviously having problems with sleep hah!

I am dead set on breastfeeding, and did find it really hard in the beginning. However it’s now going really well, and I really enjoy not having to heat up bottles, and being able to bond with my baby etc.

However, I am really starting to wonder if breastfeeding is really compatible with us both sleeping properly. Speaking to other mums of 2-month old babies who are bottle fed, they now all seem to “go down” for naps at specific times, have set bedtimes at night, and sleep for super long stretches ; if not through the night!!!

My experience is so much more chaotic thus far... there is absolutely no routine to speak of, as she still eats at various times each day and night (I feed on demand), and I am therefore never able to “put her to bed” or “put her down” for naps. Most of the time she’ll just sleep in my arms after breastfeeding, and wakes up as soon as I put her down (be it in her sleepyhead or next-to-me bed). At night she’ll fall asleep in my arms while I eat dinner or watch TV, and I’ll then transfer her into her bed when I myself go to bed around 10pm. It’s impossible to put her down alone in there before then. In the middle of the night she’ll wake at least twice to eat, which I obviously find perfectly acceptable, but will then NOT accept to be put back down in her bed... so I’m always up most of the night popping her dummy back in, or stroking her face, until it’s time for her next feeding! I’m exhausted!!

I have such a strong feeling that it would all be so much easier if she were bottle fed... because I’d be able to establish a proper routine.

Hence my question ; is it at all possible to really get proper sleep while breastfeeding?!

Co-sleeping is key. I’m still BF at 15 months, we co-slept birth-9 months and had loads of sleep.
Routine is really not something to fuss about though, we didn’t have anything routine until 5/6 months.
Breastfeeding has many advantages but it’s less structured for sure, responsive feeding is far better though

Oh and I napped with the baby in the daytime. Lots of naps are vital!

My daughter is 11 weeks and breast fed and sleeps relatively well (in my opinion). In the evening she'll nap on me or in her basket, at 10.30ish when we go to bed we'll change her nappy and give her a feed (if she wants) and then she'll sleep in her next to me crib for 4-6 hours, have a ten min feed and then go back to sleep until 7.30 or 8am. We tend to give her one bottle of expressed milk a day in the evening but otherwise she feeds directly from me. I think it's luck of the draw but personally I'm getting far better sleep now than I did during pregnancy!

When mine were tiny they were in bed with me and I fed in a half doze. Think the hormones help you relax and get back to sleep after waking.

OP, ignore sweeping statements. All babies are different. My daughter (now 20 months), as always been a good sleeper, I EBF until 6 months, then combi-fed to 11 months, and never co-slept.

If you want to bottle fed your child, by all means go for it but I wouldn’t rely on it as some magical cure for sleep x

Baby is still tiny and you're still in the eye of the storm! If you hang in there it's likely to get easier in a couple of months. I know that feels like ages away when you're shattered but to me it was well worth sticking at. By month 4 or 5 my baby was giving me more solid stints of sleep plus I still had all the benefits of breastfeeding that u mention (no bottle washing etc). It's of course you're own personal choice but if I were u I'd hang in there and try not to compare your situation to that of formula feeding mums. It really is a totally different thing. If it's your first child can you try to find some good box sets and snacks and try to tough it out? You're doing amazingly, it's so hard to begin with

I don't think it's the type of milk, I think it just depends on the baby. Have you tried carrying DC in a sling for daytime naps? My bf baby is fed on demand but we've got a good routine going during the day: wakes up, feed, back to sleep after 1.5 hours in sling or in my arms (then I put him down), repeat until bedtime. It's exhausting and non stop but I'm not sure formula is the answer. Breastfeeding can mean feeding them quickly at night before they are too awake or upset.

I found it better then bottle feeding. (Sleep wise.)

@Smallsteps88

Not In my experience and if I were to have another child I would bottle feed for precisely this reason. Lack of sleep drove me into a terrible depression and my life never recovered. For me BFing isnt worth that.

My experience, word for word. I was 100% sure I wanted to breastfeed, did all the research I could, yet my mental health suffered massively with 45 minute snatches of sleep for months.

Like @Respectabitch I feed in my sleep. DD is now two and gets out of her bed and into ours and then attaches herself.

DD is also a grazer so feeds of eats little at a time, even when she would take a bottle she'd only ever take 30-50ml she was never going to be filled up to sleep

BF Dd slept through from 6 weeks.
I think some babies sleep some don’t. I’m not sure there is too much you can do about it.

My experience is that a bottle before bed means they will take more. Doesn’t matter what’s in the bottle - formula or expressed breast milk - but the fact they will take a larger amount rather than falling asleep on the breast. I combi fed with formula at night but then switched to expressed breast milk. Breast feed all other feeds. Dd slept thru from 11 weeks reliably.

Where method of feeding does start to matter ime is +4m. Prior to this, it is largely luck and circumstance - whether baby has reflux or a strong startle reflex waking them up etc etc.

Once baby starts waking more during the 4m sleep regression, you can have a job on your hands to get then back to sleep multiple times per night. Breastfeeding is an efficient way to get them back to sleep quickly. However, I do think this teaches them to expect to be fed to get back to sleep, putting off the issue of helping them to learn how to self settle.

I don't think this happens as much with bottle fed babies. I don't think many parents countenance going from say 1 bottle feed a night at 3 months (or none) to 3 feeds a night at 4mths, which is what happened with DD and what is happening now with DS. So, baby learns to self settle earlier than the breastfed baby as it is easier to just feed when bf rather than spend an age trying other ways to get them back to sleep.

expectingscience.com/2014/09/09/lets-face-it-formula-fed-babies-sleep-better-from-their-parents-perspective/

TLDR; breastfeeding mums get more sleep total but bottle feeding mums get less interrupted sleep.

Personally cosleeping is the best of both, I barely wake to feed so do generally get a decent night, the exceptions being regressions when she's not going back to sleep and waking me up fully a lot.

Hi all. Such positive breastfeeding stories on this thread. I am currently breastfeeding.. which I do enjoy albeit exhausting at times. However, I have a really sore left nipple and the thought of feeding from the left fills me with dreadat times. The pain lasts only seconds - the lactation nurse said my latching on is fine etc but damage had already been done. Feeding from left is not giving it time to heal. Has anyone moved to combi feeding? Or even bottle feeding instead? I don't wish to express as never got on with this with my last 2.
(Sorry for jumping on the post with a huge post myself! )

Hi JWL, when I had issues (see name) things I tried were

• nipple cream (lanolin)
• nipple shields
• giving the sore nipple a break by not using every feed, either feeding exclusively from the other side or using formula/expressed. 6 hours rest made a massive difference.

Plenty of mums switch to combi feeding, and it is your choice, but be aware you may be able to use a bottle as temporary solution or a one off it doesn't have to be a permanent switch if you don't want it to be. Some caveat about impacting supply and nipple confusion- but these things are possibilities not certainties especially if you limit the switch.

My best friends baby was formula fed and a terrible sleeper, mine was breastfed and a terrible sleeper. Neighbours child was breastfed and slept through the night every night from 4 months.

I

My little boy is 9 weeks old, mainly breastfed but has a bottle of formula at 7pm and then at his first wake in the night, this week that has been about 1.30am. Then he wakes at 5ish and has breast milk and breast milk in the day.
A couple weeks ago he was waking every 2-3hrs all night for feeds so has changed so quickly.
Hang in there. Or switch to formula: happy mum = happy baby in my book.

There are pros and cons to both methods and what suits you and your baby is individual.

My baby is 6 months and ebf, quite a bad sleeper. we've only just got into a proper feeding and napping routine. I remember around 10 weeks finding the lack of routine hell but it does get easier and you start to just go with it.

This is purely anecdotal, but from my NCT group 4 ebf, 2 bad sleepers, 2 good. Even though the bottle fed babies don't need a feed overnight they do need some resettling. Combi feeding has worked well for some.

Sorry my post didn't post - ebf baby slept through at 11 months if it helps

Thanks for your advice ladies. I've used the sore nipple today a few times now... Pain was there for about 10 seconds. It's the thought of it maybe more than the pain.... But I don't want to start dreading feeding times.
So indecisive i just dont know what to do for the best. If i leave that one rest for a couple of feeds... Will I have enough milk in my right side 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Jwl45

I'd be more worried about not removing milk from breast and mastitis setting in. That is far far more horrendous than the early days of feeding. Try putting baby in a different position.

It varies but I think overall bottle fed babies sleep a bit better - certainly not guaranteed though. My best friends DS1 was breastfed until 13 months and was a brilliant sleeper from a couple of weeks old. Never had a 4 month sleep regression either.

My DD1 (now 3.5) was an awful, awful sleeper in the few weeks I breastfed her which contributed to some shitty PND. Swtiched to formula at about 9 weeks and soon started sleeping through the night.

DD2 is 15 weeks and was fomula fed pretty much from birth. Sleeps really quite well, but about to hit 4 month regression!

Wow, for a start, breastfeeding doesn't mean you'll bond any better with your baby as bottle

As for the rest, I have two children. One bottle bed, one breast fed (both I've bonded with thanks ) both were good sleepers into 4m then the regression hit, and their sleep never recovered.

Breastfed baby is worse (I've slept for 2.5hrs tonight so far and it's nearly 6am), but historically, it was easier to get breastfed baby back to sleep. Bottle fed baby had a night bottle until about 15m (sometimes more than one of hungry, bottle fed babies can be fed on demand too), but even then she didn't want to night wean, and all it meant is rather than being awake for 15m, it would sometimes be hours. She started to sleep through at 3.

Breastfed child has been rubbish at long stretches but until a year, usually went straight back. Currently she wakes every 2-3 hours just nights and is often awake for an hour or two at a time. The difficulty is that she's very resistant to anyone else dealing with her, and gets very upset if there aren't boobs, so I can't share the burden. She's 20m and no sign of sleeping through yet . Wiith bottles it was easier as we alternated nights, but we compensate in other ways, or I get a lot of lie ins. But I am more tired.

Tbh, you are right at the start of your no sleep journey, and comparisons with friends are pretty worthless at this age, as sleep isn't static, and it doesn't just improve with time. A baby that sleeps for 7 hours straight at 2m may wake hourly at 6m, or vice versa. A baby might sleep better or worse at 2m than at 2y (we are one of three ones where it was better at 2m than 2y...). There are peaks and troughs and blips and all sorts.