Is breastfeeding and sleep really compatible?

[mimmi91]

Hello fellow mums!

How strange to be posting on Mumsnet again, last time I did was almost a year ago when I needed confirmation of a 2nd faint line on my pregnancy test

Anyway, I am now the proud mother of a 10 week old little girl. And obviously having problems with sleep hah!

I am dead set on breastfeeding, and did find it really hard in the beginning. However it’s now going really well, and I really enjoy not having to heat up bottles, and being able to bond with my baby etc.

However, I am really starting to wonder if breastfeeding is really compatible with us both sleeping properly. Speaking to other mums of 2-month old babies who are bottle fed, they now all seem to “go down” for naps at specific times, have set bedtimes at night, and sleep for super long stretches ; if not through the night!!!

My experience is so much more chaotic thus far... there is absolutely no routine to speak of, as she still eats at various times each day and night (I feed on demand), and I am therefore never able to “put her to bed” or “put her down” for naps. Most of the time she’ll just sleep in my arms after breastfeeding, and wakes up as soon as I put her down (be it in her sleepyhead or next-to-me bed). At night she’ll fall asleep in my arms while I eat dinner or watch TV, and I’ll then transfer her into her bed when I myself go to bed around 10pm. It’s impossible to put her down alone in there before then. In the middle of the night she’ll wake at least twice to eat, which I obviously find perfectly acceptable, but will then NOT accept to be put back down in her bed... so I’m always up most of the night popping her dummy back in, or stroking her face, until it’s time for her next feeding! I’m exhausted!!

I have such a strong feeling that it would all be so much easier if she were bottle fed... because I’d be able to establish a proper routine.

Hence my question ; is it at all possible to really get proper sleep while breastfeeding?!

[Hellomoonstar]

It’s all luck. I have breastfeed three babies and the first two were complete polar opposite to each other. Ds1 was born with his own routine and he woke up every three hours, until four months old. Where it increased to four hours and after his first meal he slept through the night. He also preferred his own cot/bed.

Ds2 was a nightmare with horrible reflux and after trying three different medication to control the reflux and the medication side effects he was used to minimal sleep. He only slept through aged two years.

Ds3 is 7 months currently and he hasn’t slept through yet, but he gives me decent amount of sleep. I feel rested in the morning. That is what is important.

I stopped timing sleep with ds2 as it was horrible seeing how little I slept and started to focus on how I felt in the morning. Which helped a lot.

[Jwl45]

@harrysmummy246

Yes I've thought of this... I'm sure I had onset of it on right side a week ago as had feverish shakes and bruise like pain... but it passed.
However, how do you stop / prevent mastitis if we do decide to just bottle feed? How do you wean off breast to formula? That's what I would like to know

[NameChange30]

DC1 was breastfed. He was a terrible sleeper which I think was due to undiagnosed CMPA and reflux. He woke frequently and breastfed for comfort. By the time we finally realised (after introducing some formula and his reflux got worse) his sleep habits were ingrained. So after cutting out dairy and getting the reflux under control, we sleep trained. Started by cutting out all night feeds and managed to get him sleeping independently in his cot. This was when he was 10-11 months old and he's slept well since then. I continued breastfeeding until he turned 2.

Now breastfeeding DC2 who is only 3 months old so it's too early to say whether she's a good sleeper or not! We had a string of good nights with nice long stretches (6-8 hours) although it's not so good any more, we'll see how it goes.

[mimmi91]

THANK YOU all for your answers! So insightful to hear that breastfed babies can be good sleepers haha!
I must have ended up with a fussy baby when it comes to sleep :P OR (hopefully) she'll get better in the weeks to come!

I guess it's hard to breastfeed while also wanting to set up a routine. We have recently decided to start "putting her to bed" at 8pn because we've noticed she gets very fussy at this time, most likely from being tired. I then breastfeed her every night at 8pm, and then try to put her down in her bed (next-to-me) to fall asleep. This is no easy feat lol!!

She is addicted to her dummy and will only fall asleep with it. Which means she constantly loses it (either when she falls asleep, or she rips it out with her flailing hands) and we end up having to pop it back in every 10min. This can last for hours...

I have come to recognise her hunger signals, so I never miss her cues ; but she is very difficult to settle back down to sleep after eating... And I've come to realise this would probably also be an issue if she were bottle-fed!

I'm very torn with what to do to get her to sleep quicker...

To breastfeed to sleep or to put down "drowsy and awake"
To swaddle or not to swaddle
To keep giving her dummy or to go cold turkey
To let her cry for a bit or to tend to her straight away

etc etc etc.

But I guess there is no baby handbook!! I just need to try various things and see what works best for her...

[Lazypuppy]

I breastfed, but not on demand really, i did every 3 or 4 hours.naps i didn't care when they were at that age but i always put her down in her swing chair or on a blanket. Bed time she was waking for 1 feed a night at 10 weeks, then back to sleep.

It is possible for breastfed babies to sleep well, but every baby is different

[Harrysmummy246]

@mimmi91

Drowsy but awake is largely bollocks
Don't leave her to cry- even those who suggest that as sleep training would say not to do that at this age (and I have, and always will, gone straight to DS if crying)
The 'witching' hour in the evening is very common.

Her sleep is going to change in coming weeks and not necessarily for the better either.

Everything you are describing sounds like a normal baby in the 4th trimester

[NameChange30]

I disagree that drowsy but awake is bollocks
It's hard to achieve (I never managed it with DC1) but it is the ideal if you can manage it (I am trying with DC2 and have had some success)
She cries when she's tired and fighting sleep and I cuddle her if she's crying a lot, or put a hand on her tummy to reassure and calm her if she's just fussing, and she sometimes settles.
With DC1 I didn't tolerate any crying before picking him up and didn't wait and see if he would settle by himself, in hindsight I didn't give him the opportunity to learn to self-settle and he became dependent on me (or DH) to sleep.

[Megan2018]

DD managed drowsy but awake in her own cot from 9/10 months. It’s not 100% reliable now but pretty good.
That was after 9 months of co-sleeping though. Before that she fed to sleep all the time.

[JessManc]

Lots of good comments already but if it helps I’m breastfeeding and remember someone talking about their routine when my LO was 12 weeks and thinking OMG you’re so lucky...

Fast forward two weeks and she had just suddenly fallen into a pattern. So don’t be disheartened, it’s early days! I suggest downloading the breast feeding timer app and logging everything - seems tedious but when I did this I realised she was starting to feed every 3 hours and it was a good reminder for me.

[twinklespells]

I watched an interesting sleep webinar recently. It said that mother's perceptions were that formula fed babies slept for longer stints, but it was purely their perception and not what actually happened. I'll post the link to it. My DD is five months now but I found it really useful.

We still don't have much of a routine. DD is also a Velcro baby and I'm happy with it tbh. I'm now just trying to put her down on her own after feeding to sleep in the evenings because being downstairs disturbs her, will see how that pans out!