Baby whisperer fans...help please!

[TheJen]

My DS's naps are turning into a real battle. I'm quite a fan of the Baby Whisperer's EASY routine and too whimpy to let him cry much and the 'shhhh pat' when he wakes or wont settle has always worked quite well. However it isn't always working at the moment. Bit of an understatement actually! Today I couldn't get him to nap in his cot at all... I waited for all the cues, three yawns etc and as soon as I put him in his cot he screamed and wouldn't even stop for long when I (or DH) shhh'ed him. After 45mins of trying we gave up and put him in buggy (not without a bit of arguing- a screaming child is sooo stressful ) I've been back to the book but all she talks about is soothing and putting back and none of the case studies seem to mention screamers. Any tips? I have resorted to feeding him to sleep often but I'm really keen not to reinforce this as he wont take a bottle and at 6months now I would like to be able to have my DH put him dow every so often...any advice really appreciated

Its called something like "The babywhisperer solves all your problems".

I think I found "Secrets of the babywhisperer" a bit confusing too.

Here www.babywhisperer.com/smf/index.php?board=89.0

Don't put baby down until he/she is quite.

That's what I thought but unfortunately he just isn't calming down when I pick him up... what do I do? He gets in such a state that the only thing that calms him is coming downstairs and doing something totally different and aborting the nap and then I've got a tired baby and a frazzled me...

He's being a little monkeyObviously a very bright little baby!!
Oh I don't want to nap,if I cry mummy will take me downstairs and have fun with me
Try and stay upsairs,I know it hard and stressful even if its just for half an hour,then draw back the curtains and take him downstairs. Keep doing that every day and he'll get used to the idea.
Or have you tried getting him to sleep at the time you want by walking him in the pushchair until he falls asleep. Maybe he needs to get used to a new sleep pattern first? Once he gets used to falling asleep at that time,then try the bedroom.

It tells you on BW website how long to do it for. 40 mins I think, then have 45 mins break taking baby downstairs, then start again....Soul destroying I know.....

I had a baby who would only nap intermitently, and whilst BW stuff worked, it didn't work all the time

Have to say that when my DSs stop(ped) calming down when I picked him up, I just left him to cry for a bit (usually standing nearby but sometimes even that's too distracting and I just have to leave him to it). Sometimes babies do just want to be left alone to do their thing. And also, you feel so impotent when Not Even A Mother's Love can calm them down.

Both my sons absolutely refuse to sleep in the daytime when they are teething. Have you tried giving a little calpol (YES, it is my cure for everything!)? If it helps, there may be a pain issue going on.

Having said that, it's usually only a couple of days while the teeth actually cut. If it's been going on for a week or so, it's probably something else.

He is a little monkey... It's amazing how great you feel when things go well and then how low you can feel when it's all going wrong. I've had a look on BW site but not very good at these things and although can find lots of people with similar problems (which is great!) I can't find much official... any tips?

That link I posted should have all the answers

Don't quite know how I missed you posting that link.... thank you it's v helpful.

I love the babywhisperer, but found that my daughter was not necessarily ready for a nap just because she yawned.

Your son is awake for less than 2 hours before you try the morning nap. Why don't you leave him a bit longer and see if that gets results?

PU/PD never did the trick with my DD. She was far too alert and all that faffing made her overstimulated - if anything it made matters worse. I'd be inclined to keep him up a bit longer and follow his lead - if he starts to wilt, whip him into bed. This is just a phase and does not need to be a battle (even if it feels like one at times!).

Well ladies, this morning went quite well... i think! After 2.5 hours he began to wilt so I did the wind down and as he was going into the cot he began to scream. I picked up and put down and after a while he did calm a bit- I resorted to the swaddle (haven;t done this for months) because he was flapping his arms and rubbing his eyes frantically. It took 40 mins and I was exhausted but then he slept for 1 hour 45! I couldn't face the battle again this pm so went out for family walk and he slept. Tonight he fell asleep during 7 pm feed (as usual) and I stirred him to put him into grobag and he cried but settled straight away in cot. My DH is away now for a week so I don;t think I'm strong enough to do to much training with the nights alone... might focus on the day sleeps and worry about the nights later, what do you think? Oh and also borrowed the BW solves problems book so will read up further. Thanks for last night's support!

Well done you!!
I agree,trying to do it all on your own will be very hard. I think your plan is best,work on the nap and tackle the nights when there is someone there to help you. Keep going

Oh my why is it when you start to tackle one problem the next arrives. He woke at 9 and was hysterical- medised didn't even work so after a lot of PU/PD i fed him his dream feed (!) early . I then went to bed prepared for a battle overnight and read the book prepared to start the day at 7 as BW dictates! My darling LO didn't wake all night but then woke at 6 and I fed him after attempted to PU/PD but he seemed really hungry... just thought we'd run the whole day a bit earlier than BW suggests so he's already down for him nap! I really darkenned the room and he went down without much fuss so that's great! However, do have MIL and SIL (plus 3 children under 3) coming for the day so who knows how that will unfold!!!! Wish me luck!

You are doing fine!! But I will wish you lots of luck anyway. His little routine is bound to change and if your house is too busy today dont try too hard. It can be quie streesful to do your own little routine when people are 'watching' so to speak!! So if it goes a bit wrong today,don't give up

Thank you for your support- much appreciated
Actually went surprising well, I have resorted to blacking out his window and swaddling him and he was much calmer (for the moment anyway!) Hopefully he continue to improve with less crying each time. He's waking a bit less as well which helps (especially with DH away.) Bye for now x

Excellent!!!! nearly there!! You know what they say about the last mile...puff..puff. You should come and join the girls over in the 'Sanctuary' for a bit of relaxation. Be warned,sometimes gets a bit 'fruity' late evening!!!!!!!!!.x.

What's all that about then? Sounds interesting!!! is it a strange mumsnet club!!?

Everyone is welcome
Just a few of us play over in The sanctuary thread!!
Our own little haven from the madness!!
We have a sauna,pool,massuer anything that is relaxing!!!
But mainly the girls just drink virtual wine and eat virtual chocolate!!!!!! Oh and take BIG advantages of the men!!!!!!
Usually busy late at night,but some are about during the day. I have told them to be on their BEST behaviour in case you pop in,doubt they will though so be prepared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am intrigued ... how do I find you? Am novice mumsnetter!!!

O.K. no probs I can give you directions,but I can't do the fancy link thing!!!

Go onto chat(We might be on active at the moment as we are arguing over sweets)and there is a thread called @@@THE SANCTUARY FOR THOSE WHO ARE STRESSED ALL WELCOME@@@@

That's where we are,don't worry i haven't been here long either,you'll get to know everyone very quickly.