please please help me. how can i get my 9 month old to sleep through the night without doing CC?

[beautifuldays]

she usually wakes up every hour between 7 and 11pm and then wakes for milk at 2.30ish and 5ish, she then usually refuses to go back to sleep. she also won't nap in the day for longer than 20-30mins - so she only has a max of 2 half hour naps all day

i tried getting her to go back to sleep when she woke from her nap this afternoon, but she just screamed hysterically for an hour and has been miserable ever since because she is so tired.

i really can't do this any longer, i am so tired and grumpy and have a 3.5yr old at home who is full of energy and i just can't cope with the two of them on 5hrs sleep every night

i don't really want to do controlled crying and i suspect it would involve a lot of crying as dd is a stubborn little madam!

is there anything else i can do before i lose my mind completely? please?!

Do you follow the same routine every night? ie, bath, bottle or bf, story and then bed?

yes she has bath, pj's and grobag on, breastfeed and then bed - thing is she always falls asleep during that feed, so how do i still giver her her bedtime milk without feeding her to sleep iykwim!

Do you give her any of the last bf before her bath, ie one boob first (b4 bath) and then the other before she goes down?

Personally I found it easier to get the sleeping through established before attempting to change the habit of falling alseep nursing - this I tackled when I actually stopped bb at 11 months.

DS tends to fall asleep during last feed too, I have taken to doing it with the light on and blowing in his face (gently of course) / tickling his toes to keep him just about conscious before he goes in his cot!

she just has the one feed at bedtime and i can never keep her awake because she is invariably tired from refusing to have an afternoon nap so she is practically asleep as soon as she gets the boob in her mouth!

Can I ask what you do to get her to have a sleep in the afternoon? I know that I have to take my daughter out for a walk....this seems to do the trick and I do it at 3.30..she falls asleep by 4 and then wakes at 4.45....she is then ready for her dinner and then her bath...and by the time her last bottle comes she guzzles it! However, I out her down when she is fully awake (although naturally tired) and this seems to do the trick...

the problem is that she wants to sleep straight after lunch about 1pm - so i put her in her grobag, in her cot and put her mobile on. she then sleeps for half an hour. thing is she won't sleep any longer than this and won't have another nap later on, so by 7pm she is shattered as has been up for 5.5hrs

so she always falls asleep during her last breastfeed - hence the feeding to sleep issue....

I'm not convinced its the nursing to sleep that's the problem. Your dd can clearly go a good 3 hours between 11 and 2.30am. Out if interest how do you get her off to sleep at 11pm, if not bf?

I think some of us on sleep is for the weak had some very upset nights around this age. I can reassure you though, that it has got consistantly better. Have you thought about co-sleeping. My DD 13 month old wakes during the night and cosleeping helps us all get more sleep than we would if we didn't iykwim. Anyway, perhaps if she has some comfort close to hand she'll start sleeping a bit longer again. Sometimes my DD just reaches out and when she know we're still there she goes back to sleep.

How about if you put her down at about 5.30 but just for 10-15 mins? Would she be tired enough then? Might refresh her enough to get her through tea, bathtime and last milk...

Sorry x posts and soz if I'm not understanding very well but I thought you'd said that she has her last feed at bed time - is that her bad time or yours?

X-posted: Ginger makes a very good point, when my LO's sleep was much worse than it is now, co-sleeping saved my sanity. Even if you go to bed at 8 for a night or two just to recharge your batteries, you might then have more energy to tackle a change in routine...

Again sorry! That should have been is that your bed time or hers? Think I'll give up now, been working too hard, need to put feet up.....

Here is the routine for my daugher.

6.30 - wakes
6.45 - nappy change
7.00 - breakfast
7.30 - bottle
8.00 - kick abou on mat
8.45 - into pram
9.00 - sleeping
9.45 - wakes
10.00 - nappy changed and dressed
10.30 - playing etc
11.00 - lunch
11.45 - put dowm in cot
1.45 - wakes
2.00 - nappy changed and play
2.30 - bottle
2.30- 3.30 - play, baby walker etc
3.30 - wou for walk and falls asleep
4.45 - wakes, changed and then dinner
5.30 - start bedtime routine, ie kick about, stripped, bath, jammies etc
6.15 - bottle (half of)
6.30 - winded and allowed to lie and babble
6.45 - rest of bottle, winded and then put down
6.50 - taken up to bed, placed in gro bag, tucked in, read a story, kissed and leave the room - she is awake and will sometimes babble but will then fall asleep.

Don't know if this will help but you can maybe compare it to what you do?? Hope this post does not come across as patronising etc......only trying to help.

sorry for the confussion she has her last breastfeed at 7pm then we have to go in and settle her (without milk ) about 3/4 times until about half 10 or 11 ish when she will then sleep until about half 2, then she has milk then and again about 5am when she will more often than not want to get up for the day.

i have no idea why she will sleep between 11 and half 2 but not between 7 and 11, i suspect she is so over tired from lack of daytime sleep that she doesn't settle properly.

we give her and her brother tea at 5pm so can't put her down then. i tried to get her to have another nap at 4pm today but she just screamed until i gave up

i can't co sleep with her - she pinches me and grabs my hair when i'm feeding her and it drives me batty, i can just about put up with dh in the bed, so i know i wouldn't be able to co-sleep with her - sorry really not keen on that!

sorry that wasn't very clear either was it - lack of sleep is addling my brain!

she has milk at 7ppm, 2.30am and 5 am

Karen would you like to come to mine and sort out DD. You sound like a very organised woman.

you sound so very organised! i wish my dd would have a 2hr nap in the middle of the day i think it would help a lot.

she only has half an hour in the morning and half an hour after luch and she is always tired and grumpy!

Still seem to not be being sensilbe and putting my feet up yet but fwiw BD you sound exactly in the same place I was - I know the pinching and hair grabbing thing it drove me mad too. But I persevered until I had DS sleeping better by extending the core time of his sleeping by bringing a night feed earlier and earlier and he still woke the other end at the same time - 5 ish. It was a total rejig of what had been happening and took some more unsettled nights (of me setting my alarm to feed him earlier) to really get it sorted. It worked for me.

Wihout much crying either

thanks so much for all your ideas everyone - i am going to go to bed now and leave the washing up for dh

fingers crossed for some sleep, i'll check backin tommorrow.

thanks xxxxxxx

Karen999 am v impressed with your timetable!

thanks snot

maybe i will try that - although i really want to get rid of the night feeds altogether as i really don't think she needs them. it's just a habit. may try it next week as it's half term and dh will be around more. anyway she has started crying again so gotta go, then going to bed myself!

thanks xx