Positive thread to help the dreaded night feeds!

[Hannah58]

Hi all!
I was just wondering if anyone was interested in joining in on a thread filled with fun/light hearted/positive stuff that we can add to and read during the dreaded night feeds?!
My little one is 4 weeks and I'm finding myself dreading the night times due to the 3 hourly feeds. Sometimes I find myself scrolling on my phone whilst I wait for him to settle and I thought it might be nice to have somewhere to chat to people in the same boat!
I was thinking it could be funny pictures/ quotes/ stories/ positive affirmations and a place to ask questions if needed?
I'll start off with a funny picture ☺️

@Betsyboo87
Same! I decided to do some mixed feeding for the first few months, and religiously alternated between boob and bottle, alternating feeds from even a few hours old. By the time she was 2 weeks old she started rejecting bottles and I didn't have a choice in the end, even though I did everything I could to try to screw up my supoly.. And here i am (literally, whilst typing) 18m later because I'm a soft touch and can't bring myself to force her to stop when she now literally squeals with excitement about it and goes 'mmnnnn titties' (thank goodness for lockdown).

I've never met anyone else who accidentally breastfed. I felt so guilty trying to stop it, whilst many women are desperate for it to work.

@PeggyMoo it’s so hard to decide when you either lose nice evenings or sleep isn’t it? Hope you managed to get some extra sleep tonight. I go to bed at 8pm and miss the evenings so much!

My DH fed the baby until 12.30am tonight, and said she had loads of milk, so I was hoping for a longer stretch of sleep than 2.5 hours from her. Sadly didn’t happen! Fingers crossed the next stretch is longer. All I want is 3 hours!!

Totally know what you mean about accidental breastfeeding. We combi feed this baby from the start, but she still isn’t a fan of bottles and I’m so scared she will reject them at some point.

@Needallthesleep I stupidly went to bed early last night but stayed awake scrolling on my phone - the worst of both worlds!

I had a nap today so can’t complain too much. Ready for another night...!

@PeggyMoo That's exactly what I do- go to bed early and find myself scrolling! 🙈

Good luck for tonight all- fingers crossed we can get some sleep!

I’m on my first wake up! Hour ahead here so 10.30...

Fingers crossed for everyone else though!

Down at 7.45, back up at 9, but down again by 9.30.

We had an amazing night last night. Bed was difficult and long, but aside from a feed at 11, she mostly slept through till just before 7!! She did cry out at 2, but by the time I found my glasses, got out of bed etc, she self settled.

So she can do it! It's extremes here's, from either doing really well to me seeing most hours, and I don't know what is different between the nights.

I’m having a shocker of a night. I know I have a newborn and should expect this, but she’s woken every hour so far. She has a cold so I assume that’s the problem. I’m having a little cry right now.

@Needallthesleep Oh I'm sorry to hear it's a bad one. I'm sure the fact that she's got a cold can't be helping ☹️ I'm up because my DS has woken up and I assumed he wanted feeding but he's now just asleep on me but won't settle on his own! How old is your little one?

Sleep deprived and reporting for duty. DS was up for ages last night. Usually he just boobs back to sleep immediately but it took a good hour last night. I should have gone to bed earlier.

Only 1 proper night wake up here, but it was from 1:30-4:30am. I don't know if they makes it a good or a bad night any more. I'm feeling quite refreshed because I got a decent block after it (and we split it). I think it's better than waking every 2 hours.

Ladies can I ask how long it takes you to settle your little ones before they go back to sleep. DS is FF so from the time he wakes for a feed and I’ve changed him, fed him, winded him and he’s settled again is taking about an hour. When we were breastfeeding he’d fall asleep on the boob after about 20 mins so I’m wondering if an hour is the ‘norm’? We’re trying to slow down the feeds, wind him lots and keep him upright afterwards due to reflux but it seems to take forever to get him back in bed.

@Shefliesonherownwings I bf so can’t compare but once my DS stopped having dirty nappies at night we stopped changing him. It made a massive difference as changing would really wake him up. I just give him a good wash in the morning and he’s not had any rash. Not sure how old yours is and if this is a possibility?

@Shefliesonherownwings how old is your DS? My experience is that an hour is typical until about 6 - 7 weeks when they start to be able to eat faster, and it becomes about 30 minutes to do the whole thing.

DS is 3 weeks today. He’s doing plenty of wet nappies but probably only 1 or 2 dirty ones a day. His wet nappies seem very full when we change him so I’m a bit reluctant to leave him in them longer. On the other hand, he hates having his nappy changed and it really wakes him up so maybe leaving him would mean a quicker settle. So hard to know what to do!

@Shefliesonherownwings

Newborn/first few months, with both bottle and boob (I've done one of each) I tended to change nappy half way through, and then usually baby would either fall asleep feeding (with either method) or when winded. Feeds would usually take about 15 mins (boob less weirdly) and the winding and back asleep, the whole lot maybe 25 mins tops.

This got quicker as they got older until about a year when it started to go to the other way. Night feeds/settling for boob fed baby take anywhere from 15m to 3 hours, with at least one a night taking 1-3hrs. Bottle fed baby gave up night feeds at 15m, and took an average of 2 hours after this point to settle, during her nightly wake.

@Shefliesonherownwings My DS is 5 weeks old and it usually takes us about an hour in total during the night to feed, change, wind and settle too! I'm the same as you about the nappy change- someone suggested to me today that pampers premium nappies claim to be more absorbent and last 12 hours so I think I might give these a try!

I can’t remember when I stopped night changes. It took me a while to be confident because there’s nothing worse than a leak and a full bed change in the middle of the night!

I think we’ve cracked drowsy but awake settling this week. It needs a fair bit of shushing and patting but it’s a step forward.

Sorry @Hannah58 I’ve just noticed that your thread is for positive thoughts! I feel I’m always so negative.

@Betsyboo87 That's ok! It's good to hear other people's experiences as it always makes me feel like I'm not alone- and in that way it's positive! ☺️
Good luck for tonight all! 🤞🏼

How's everyone's lights going?
Any other long timers on here btw?

It's 5.25 am and in literally sat in the cot, pretending to breastfeed a bunny. Shoot me now. An hour and 30 and counting so far. It's technically wake up 5 of the night, though thankfully I had midnight until nearly 4, so could be worse.

I think I'm going to end a message to my husband to read when he gets up to the effect of (1) please take the kids to the park/out somewhere in the morning (2) please don't wake me on the way out, on pain of death, and then I'm going to try to have a decent lie in.

Hi everyone I'm here with my 10 month old, he still wakes what feels like a million times a night! I don't think I've had a full uninterrupted hours sleep in 10 months my other ds didn't sleep through the night til he was 5 so I'm used to running on no sleep now lol. I stopped doing night changes months ago, that made a massive difference to length of time awake. I use pampers at night and supermarket ones in day. The pampers do last all night but sometimes leak if he lies on his front!

I was my own worst enemy last night. DS initially slept until midnight instead of his usual 2/3 wake ups. But I just couldn’t switch off and sleep! Every time he moved I thought he was going to wake. We had a couple more wake ups then I decided at 4.30 I wasn’t going to feed him again and I managed to shush/pat him to sleep. Once again I couldn’t sleep. I went into the spare room at 6am and left DH with him.

Does anyone have any tips for falling asleep? I’ve never been great at it so it’s no wonder DS struggles.

I’m 4.5 months in. Not a long timer but I was hoping for better sleep but my now. I found when DS was a newborn I was prepared for it and thinking it would get better got me through the nights. Now I find it harder to have that hope.

@Betsyboo87 I can normally get off to sleep fine but once I wake up I struggle to get back to sleep. It’s been pretty bad for a year now, since a horrible bereavement last year, so if I’m really struggling I try to listen to some meditation through an app on my phone. It doesn’t always send me to sleep but does relax me enough to make it easier to get off.

We tried a different routine last night. Instead of me going to bed at 9, and DH staying downstairs with DS until 3 when I get up and take over, we tried DS in his next to me crib overnight. I still went to bed at 9 then DH brought him up after the midnight feed and came to bed himself, DS then woke about 4 for a feed which I did and again about 8. I managed to get him back to his crib asleep, in about an hour each time and then I went back to bed too. It meant more time in bed for DH and I but more broken sleep. The problem is DS is such a noisy sleeper, even where he was asleep I kept waking up each time he stirred or whimpered. I didn’t need to do anything for him but I just kept waking up every time I heard him. I felt like integer really got to sleep. I don’t feel too bad right now but I’ll flag later.

I just dread nights now knowing I don’t get much sleep and I’m always nervous about whether DS will settle. Last night went pretty well I think but now I’m worried tonight will be worse. DS is only 3 weeks and I’m already struggling with the relentless cycle of it all. I’m just not enjoying him as I’m constantly worried about whether he’s ok and we’re meeting all his needs. Is this all normal??

Sounds normal to me - we have a 3 week old noisy sleeper too so I understand what you mean about waking constantly. They do get quieter from what I remember, maybe when they sleep on their fronts?

It takes an hour to feed and settle for the first wake up here. Any subsequent feeds are usually quicker but she won’t stay asleep for any significant time afterwards.. usually then wakes every hour until it’s morning.

Sounds normal to me too. I went through a stage of getting stomach aches in the evenings which I realised was anxiety about the night times. I know what you mean about every little movement disturbing you. DH takes DS for a couple of hours before work each morning and it’s the best sleep I have because I’m completely “off duty” and can relax. 3 weeks is still early and it will get better.

I had thought about listening to meditation. My brain just goes into overdrive so that may distract me.

Hi all,

Would love to join. 7 month old DD up every few hours! Knackered!