21 month old co sleeper still wakes every hour! New baby on the way! Help!

[Lol14]

Hi,

I have a 21 month old son who has never been a good sleeper. At 5 months old we started cosleeping. We really wanted to and it just felt right to us and we’ve pretty much all had good sleep since then however our son can wake up every hour, sometimes even less than that, all through the night. It’s not too much of a problem once we’re in bed with him as once he has a little cuddle he’ll go straight off again. However throughout the evening it’s tough going up and down the stairs 5 tImes before bed and more recently he’s been having tantrums in the middle of the night. I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant and feeling like a worn out old punch bag.

I would be very happy to continue co-sleeping if my son would sleep through. We did move him to his own room a few months ago which was going so well, he was self settling to Sleep at the beginning with me just sitting next to the cot (which I never thought in a million years he would do) and waking maybe once in the evening before we’d bring him in with us around midnight, strangely he just decided a week or so ago that he was terrified of his room and now he’s back in with us completely.

He’s only just learning to walk as he was a bottom shuffler so I wonder if it could be a development thing?

I just feel like we’re the only family on the planet going through this and every other baby sleeps through the night and it’s because we’ve done everything wrong.

I have to add. I can’t do controlled crying. It’s just not an option

Just wondering if anyone has been through the same thing? Has anyone coslept with toddler and new baby in the same room? Did toddler grow out of it? Just any words of comfort would be great right now. It’s 3.45am 😴

Again thank you for your replies.

I realise it must sound ridiculous but I think because it’s often a handful of good nights followed by a handful of bad nights we often think we’ve turned a corner before Bang!! A really really bad night!

Another thing that really set us back was my morning sickness. I was so unwell this time so when he was 15 months we went from always settling him in his room and in his cot to me climbing into bed with him at 7pm because I could barely do anything else. It’s so easy to forget all these details but we did have certain boundaries before which have just become very blurred since I got pregnant.

I come from a family of 5 children. We all co-slept with my mum so I feel it’s just in my nature to want to do the same.

Like you’ve all said though I’m going to get my husband involved and see if we can start again with moving him into his room. We’re very weak! His room feels so far away and we miss him in the night.

I mean, name one other mammal who puts their baby away from them at night? They don’t!! It’s unnatural! I think that’s what has kept me going for so long.

I’ll let you know how we get on 🤞

Oh also we’re having 36 degree weather at the moment so I imagine that is not helping at all! So glad to be having an autumn baby!!

If you miss him in the night and don't want him away from you why are you trying to get him into his own room?

@Huhokthen

If you miss him in the night and don't want him away from you why are you trying to get him into his own room?

Because OP will have a newborn soon and will probably die of sleep deprivation if he's still waking hourly in her bed and she also has to care for a newborn through the night while her useless selfish excuse for a husband leaves her to manage it alone?!

"I was so unwell this time so when he was 15 months we went from always settling him in his room and in his cot to me climbing into bed with him at 7pm because I could barely do anything else. It’s so easy to forget all these details but we did have certain boundaries before which have just become very blurred since I got pregnant."

This is the bit that completely baffles me. You are literally growing your husband's child. The absolute least he could do while you suffer from pregnancy sickness is take care of DC1's bedtime so that his routine stays consistent and you can rest.

This is a very basic responsibility for a husband and parent