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Original poster

Why do toddlers suddenly start waking at night?

55 replies

welshmum · 15/10/2004 15:02

DD is 2.5 the last couple of weeks she's woken once or twice in the night and called out wanting me to tuck her in, find her bear, just generally settle her and then she goes back to sleep very nicely. She used to just go right through. I don't like leaving her to yell because she then wakes herself up completely and reckons it's morning time but neither do I want to commit myself to broken nights forever. Anyone experience of this - does it just stop? can't think of a reason why it started in the first place....

OP posts:
prefernot · 15/10/2004 21:02

Hi there welshmum. I don't know why it happens but there's been a couple of other threads about the same thing and dd's does it now and then too. A couple of weeks ago she was waking once very briefly just like your little one but now she's sleeping straight through again (though last night she did wake briefly). I think with dd that she almost wants to reassure herself briefly I'm there but it's no great trauma so she doesn't get upset and i don't make a thing of it, just go straight in, give her what she wants within reason and she goes straight off again. I figure in my mind that this will make her more secure and less likely to call out than if I turn it into a battle. Though I know one has to avoid habits too. This kind of waking seems different I think.

See you on Sunday I hope?

prefernot · 15/10/2004 21:04

Incidentally my dd's going through a bit of a clingy phase, probably because she was so unwell lately but also it's like a revisited separation anxiety where she's not happy for me to go out of the room after having been fine for months and months. She now asks me for my top to sleep with when I put her to bed at night and she snuggles up with it and goes straight off to sleep. Maybe this night waking is to do with anxieties about their growing, scary, exciting independence?

popsycal · 15/10/2004 21:05

teeth

prefernot · 15/10/2004 21:07

same to you!

popsycal · 15/10/2004 21:10

thats why toddlers wake in the night IMO

claire1203 · 15/10/2004 21:22

hi im new, anyway got any advice on putting baby to bed, my son is 17 months and cries himself into such a state that he retches and is either sick or i have to take him out and cuddle him - he does it during the night too. im soooo tired -

FairyMum · 15/10/2004 21:26

Around the ages of 2 -3-4 little ones start having nightmares and are often scared of a lot of things. DD1 and DS have both been very scared of fire in the house and monsters. Things they have watched on tv can also come back to them at night and in dreams and wake them up. I make sure they don't watch tv a lot and never last thing at night.

Hulababy · 15/10/2004 21:38

With DD (also 2.5yo) she started waking in the night again awhen she was potty trained uring the day. I think she is becoming more aware of weeing in the night, and the sensation must make her stir.

She doesn't wake eveyr night, just every so often - ,maybe a couple of nights a week. Sometimes she'll try her luck and see if she gets a way with coming into our bed, without waking us too much.

nailpolish · 15/10/2004 21:48

i agree and think they are more aware of being alone etc. my dd is 2 and has started waking during the night after sleeping right thro from 3 months old. i also agree that she is prob aware of peeing, and she is having dreams etc. dont think there is one answer. i do think tho that going in before they wake completely at this age is important. hth

Mo2 · 15/10/2004 22:34

hmmmm... same thing here with DS2 (2.2 ). After normally sleeping through he's started waking up with all sorts of anxieties... "I'm scared of the bear" (no more Bear Hunt before bed in future!); "I Scared, big noise..." (thunder) and then last night "Daddy I need a cuddle" to which apparently, after it had been duly given, he siad "thank you Daddy" and snuggled back under his duvet.... .. it would be cute if it wasn't for the fact it was 4 a.m........

prefernot · 16/10/2004 13:20

I think fears are a big part of it, as well might be being aware of doing a wee (hadn't thought of that one but actually dd has started commenting on doing a wee just lately as well as doing a poo). My dd went through a very fearful phase a couple of months ago where every little noise had her dreadfully upset. She seems a bit calmer about it now but I'm sure anxieties sneak through in dreams. And I agree with just about everyone here that going in before they fully awake is the best thing you can do as that way you ease the anxiety but don't have them wake up fully and get upset if you don't go.

Original poster
welshmum · 17/10/2004 07:57

Thanks fo you thoughts - it's just helpful to realise that others are having the same trouble and it's not something odd going on in our household.
I think there might something in the weeing thing - thanks for that. I don't think it's teeth because she's got them all. I'll carry on with the the gentle reassurance and hope it stops I guess.
Looking forward to seeing you later prefernot

OP posts:
Earlybird · 17/10/2004 08:34

DD has also started waking a bit in the night recently (though thankfully not every night!), saying that she's having bad dreams. She then tells me about monsters or lions, etc. Last night I told her that whenever I have a bad dream, I try to think of something nice, or something that I like. I told her she could do the same and think of her friends at school, or how much fun it is to go swimming or anything that makes her happy. She then said "I'll think about you then mummy, because you make me happy". It's those kind of moments that make my heart melt, and make me so happy that I have had the chance to be a mum.

Prefernot - good luck with today, you brave woman (!), and happy (late) birthday to your dd.

steppemum · 17/10/2004 14:48

my ds is a bit younger, 22 months, but he has gone through a phase of crying in the night (having been a superb sleeper for months) I am pretty sure it is bad dreams, and usually I pick him up (which I wouldn't normally do when it is bedtime/sleeptime) As soon as I pick him up, he wakes up, realises everything is OK, and I tell him it is still dark, and not morning yet, he then happily snuggles down and is asleep before I've left the room.

I'm pretty sure it is bad dreams, but I have no idea how to stop him having them. he did it for about a month, and now seems to have stopped again. Sometimes he was really distressed/crying, until he woke up, and then was instantly fine.

CheekyGirl · 17/10/2004 21:36

Yes, my dd (3.3yrs) has been doing this on and off for about a year. She'll wake most nights for a few weeks, then do a few weeks of just waking once or twice a week. Similarly to the rest of you, she is just looking for brief reassurance after a bad dream or something. She goes back to sleep quickly. However, I am 30wks pg and suffering from insomnia, so I'm then awake for ages! I would love to know how to stop this from happening! She is otherwise fantastic, going to bed with absolutely no fuss at 7/7:30pm and not getting up until she hears my bedroom door open around 8am or whenever I can drag myself out of bed. She sometimes wakes briefly when dh gets up for work at 6am, but will stay in bed (don't know whether she goes back to sleep or not) if we tell her it's not morning yet.

Sarah

yingers74 · 17/10/2004 23:02

I don't know why it happens either. My dd is nearly 20 months and went through a waking up phase at 18 months then back to normal routine and has again started waking up recently. We have a sneaking feeling it is to do with a hair pulling incident with another toddler which really really upset her but could easily be wrong............

prefernot · 18/10/2004 10:35

HI yingers! Remember me?!

Well, Welshmum, it could have been the excitement of the party (very hard to wind down my little lady last night ) but she woke TWICE last night after having not woken at all for the last 4-5 days. So maybe this is proof that when their little neurons are a bit fired up they do have a more disturbed sleep. (By the way, she LOVES the book, thanks).

Original poster
welshmum · 18/10/2004 10:51

Our pleasure prefernot - have emailed you. Your little dd was a real star and we both had a lovely time. My dd is still waking up about once a night now but am resigned to popping in to reassure her- it'll stop eventually I suppose. Not in the near future though - first morning at nursery tomorrow!

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bakedpotato · 18/10/2004 10:55

welshmum, around 24 months, my dd, who had slept through from 4 months, started waking up. it took a few weeks but then we realised it was related to the dark (she'd always slept in total darkness). with an nightlight, she started sleeping though again.

just recently (she's 2 and 10 mths) we had another blip, when she got into a pattern of waking up around 11 (plus the sporadic night terror, but that's something else entirely). i think this was also probably pee-related too, but it made us rethink her daytime sleep (30 mins). we knocked it on the head last week and the nighttime wakings have stopped too. fingers Xed

could either the dark or a daytime sleep be a factor?

elliott · 18/10/2004 11:05

ds1 is nearly 3 and this last 12 months we've had several bad patches of night wakings. I think for us it tends to happen when his routine is disrupted - if we go away, or if we miss his daytime sleep too often - and once the wakings start, they quickly become reinforced by our visits to 'reassure' him. We generally have to go back to sleep training principles to get things back on track (not usually very painful). This last time a couple of months ago, we mainly used positive reinforcement (star charts) and lots of talking about what he could do for himself if he woke up at night - it did seem to help, to tell him that it was normal to wake up in the night but that he needed to stay quiet and get himself back to sleep without waking us up! Teachign coping strategies really.

If you read the sleep books they all say that everyone rouses or wakes during the night - but we are unaware of it in our toddlers unless they cry or call out when they wake up.

Original poster
welshmum · 18/10/2004 11:09

Bakedpotato she no longer sleeps in the day (sigh) so that's not it and I think she doesn't mind the dark - never complains about it. I really do think it's to do with weeing now which I assume eventually she'll get used to? Fingers crossed

OP posts:
prefernot · 18/10/2004 14:37

Welshmum, I hope she gets on ok tomorrow, let me know?

I didn't know H doesn't sleep in the day any more. Gosh, does she sleep a long night then? I can't imagine E managing to survive yet with no day sleep, usually by 11am she's flaking. But then she is up at 6.30am every morning ...

Original poster
welshmum · 18/10/2004 14:40

That's my dd too - up at 0630! She gets pretty knackered but is so determined not to kip. On the way home on the tube last night she was nodding off I managed to stop her - bedtime was too close to chance it! I think she might start daytime naps again once she goes to nursery, apparently they all sleep together after lunch....aaaah

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marthamoo · 18/10/2004 14:42

6.30 eh? Ds2 (almost 3) is going through a stage of waking between 5 and half past. He is bombing round the room now, having refused point blank to have a nap, and I am zombie-like from lack of sleep. Grrrrrrrr.

bakedpotato · 18/10/2004 14:44

WM, dd didn't complain abt dark either but then she was a bit younger than yours when this started happening, so her language wasn't up to it. do bear it in mind... around 2 apparently fear of dark becomes more common even in kids used to sleeping in pitch blackness.

would also echo elliott's suggestions of star charts and teaching coping strategies, too.