What pushed you to sleep train using the CC method?

[oneseriouslytiredmumma]

Curious to know how bad exactly other parents DD or DS sleep had become before you were finally pushed to a point that you thought sleep training them using the controlled crying method was the only option left?

At what ages have people used this method with there little people and did you have any success with it?

Sleep training is essential. I’m sure there are other methods than CC which will work but it’s simply not that case that children will start sleeping enough if left to their own devices. Why would they? Our sleep patterns are a learned behaviour. In Chaucer’s time we had 2 sleeps with a few hours awake in the middle. Lovely but doesn’t suit the way life and society is now.

There’s been a huge increase in child sleep disorders and it is likely caused in part by parents being reluctant to sleep train.

Adequate sleep is important for children and adults. It’s not a luxury, it’s a cornerstone of good physical and mental health.

14 months, usual story, crying for 2 hours etc. At wits end

This thread has made me feel so much better; I’m at my wits end with DS’s sleep and have been thinking of sleep training when he turns 6 months in a couple of weeks but have been unsure if it’s the right thing to do so it’s reassuring to hear so many people say it worked and they have no regrets.
I sleep trained my DD at 10 months using a gentle shush pat routine but my DS’s sleep is nothing like hers and he just wakes all the time.

@bunters

YES THIS

why does it have to get that bad before we can make a considered decision that teaching our children to sleep is a good thing?!

why must we get ourselves into such a state? and also why is there no recognition that there are lots of different types of sleep training. not all of them involve leaving a baby to cry!

DS has never been a great sleeper. At 9 months, I was beginning to think about returning to work. DS was waking up every 45 minutes at that point and I was going back to work as a nurse working 12.5 days in a high pressure environment. We went for it and it made a difference from the first night. By the 3rd night he was sleeping through. He hasn’t woken once at night since we did it at 9 months old - he’s now 14 months. We wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. He’s a much happier, contented baby and we’re all doing so well

I wasn’t even pushed to the brink, I just didn’t want to spend near on an hr rubbing my daughters back to get to sleep every evening. Everyone I knew did controlled crying so come 6/7 months I thought why not. Never cry it out, never left to cry if woke in the night. 3 nights and then she could self soothe - very happy with our decision.

I did it for my own sanity I have 12 months between my boys and I had a newborn in my bedroom in his crib and a 12 month old in bed next to me... it was a no brainier they used to wake each other up in 15 minute intervals
I won't be making the same bed sharing mistake I made with my first this tome around either

@bunters @BumbleNova

Thank you!!

Before sleep training:

• my marriage was almost over
• I was really depressed
• my son very looked tired and was ill constantly
• my son was unhappy and irritable all day
• I couldn't enjoy or connect with my son

-I didn’t want another child as I couldn’t cope The exact opposite was the case post CC at 14 months

Sleep deprivation was the cause of my PND and tablets and ‘growing out of it’ was not the solution - CC was.

Teaching your child to sleep is an important life skill that has detrimental effects on all parties if not learned by a certain stage. Not every child picks it up straight away and some need to be taught more intensively, just like learning to speak, walking, potty training etc. Some children even have medical conditions making sleep even harder

I have no respect for anti CC-ers. We should be supporting not shaming each other for trying to make things better for our child!

Do it! it works! Saying that my partner done it while I was on 2 night shifts (I would have found it hard). 3rd night my ds went to bed and slept thro. Now he actually lies in bed chatting to himself then goes to sleep. My screamed for 2.5 first night, 20mins the second.

Has anyone done it with a 19 month old? I feel like I'm going to die (no exaggeration) before the 18 month regression we were 2-3 times, last night was 8.

I have tried cc in the past but it was horrendous and I wasn't strong enough

I feel so alone

There's an 18 month regression too? 

Sorry to hear things are so tough for you @Phillymouse I can think of no reason why it wouldn't work with a 19 month old. Sending hugs x

Yeah sorry to say, and it's even worse as they know their own minds at this age 😩😩😩😩.

I wonder if a sleep consultant will help.

I've left her to cry before and it was awful it broke my heart and she just cried and cried until she couldn't breathe

How long did you leave her to cry/ what were the intervals?

As the fever method says

Ferber @OnlyFoolsnMothers

@Phillymouse

Yeah sorry to say, and it's even worse as they know their own minds at this age 😩😩😩😩.

I wonder if a sleep consultant will help.

I've left her to cry before and it was awful it broke my heart and she just cried and cried until she couldn't breathe

I used a sleep consultant she was excellent and gave us the support and confidence we needed. Best money we spent.

@doadeer what kind of stuff did they do? I've looked at ones around Bristol and they are £200-300

So we started with an initial consultation call. She asked us to keep a diary of food and sleep.
We had another call where she said there were two methods we could try : gradual retreat or controlled crying. She explained in detail what they both entailed, pros and cons of each.
Once we decided she sent us a plan to follow and we had telephone/email support for 10 days. She called me every morning to ask how it had gone. Just having someone to say keep doing it, you're doing it right was a huge help.

I used www.infantsleepconsultant.co.uk

A few weeks after going back to work (shifts) from maternity leave I was so desperately tired from multiple wakings throughout the night that I knew something had to change. Up until my maternity leave ended my husband hasn't felt the pain of lack of sleep as much as I did most of the night wakings when he was working (also shifts). He suggested trying controlled crying and it honestly was a game changer. Within a few days DS slept through the night for the first time and has ever since, except if he's ill or something.

I won't lie, it was extremely hard to hear him screaming and not go to him until the waiting time was up, but we could watch him on the monitor to be sure that he was otherwise OK. I always recommend this to desperate sleep deprived friends who are struggling.

sorry @Phillymouse I should've tagged you please see comment below

I just viewed it as something we would just have to do such as weaning and potty training. I didnt see the point of letting it get to stage where normal life was all but impossible due to exhaustion. Poor sleep affects everything and I just felt that preventing it from getting to that stage was a better option than ending up in a vicious circle of them being too tired to eat properly and therefore being too hungry to sleep if that makes any sense.

To ne its heartbreakimg that women feel they need to get to a suicidal point before they feel they can even think about sleep training. We are all gonna fuck up parenting in so many ways in the 18 years of their childhood that this one they at least won't remember and we should stop holding ourselves to impossible standards.

Imo maternity leave is long boring and lonely and I say do what you need to do to at least be able to get out the house and see someone or get some fresh air so you dont unnecessarily become isolated and depressed.

I always used to stay with her until she was asleep then leave the room, but around 13 / 14 months ish she wouldn’t fall asleep until about 8.45-9pm and the lack of an evening to myself was killing me. She would cry every time I left the room if she wasn’t asleep. So one day at her nap time I put her down then got up and left, returning every 3 mins for a quick reassure and hug. It took about half an hour before she fell asleep, but that night I didn’t even have to go in once to reassure. It was magic. Every night since then I’ve been downstairs by 7.10 ish and life feels so much more manageable now I have an evening!!

DD was 14 months when we did CC. I was so exhausted that I was starting to hallucinate, and wasn't safe to drive. Plus, I was starting to resent her, and it was pure hell. She needed rocking in a specific way (by me) and then she'd sleep for 45mins before waking up and screaming again. She probably cried less doing the CC than she was anyway during the night! Three or four nights and it was done, she slept perfectly after that unless she was ill (in which case all bets are off!).

DS was 7 months. He had to be rocked in a different specific way, and it involved him head butting my shoulder and crying. He was waking DD, wouldn't let me put him down at naptime, and I was even more miserable this time around because I knew how long it would go on for if we didn't do something about it. Plus, I couldn't spend any time with DD because I had DS permanently over my shoulder. Again, a few nights of CC and he's been fine since then, barring illness, teething etc.

They're 6 and 2 now and sleep very well. We have the odd bad night, but every wakeup has an actual reason other than "woken up and can't get back to sleep by myself".

@Phillymouse definitely it would work. having a sleep consultant was honestly brilliant. you still need to do the work but it gave me the confidence that (a) i was doing the right thing and (b) it would work! i used andrea grace and she was just really kind.

i think the key thing that is really hard if you dont have guidance from an independent unemotional third party is being really really consistent and clear. if you accidently muddy the waters by picking them up for example, it may not work/may take longer. you have got this and I promise, it will make a real difference.

If ferber was too hard, try something like gradual retreat? that is what we did.

Because it was that or walk under an HGV.

DS will be remaining an only child. I can’t go through the baby thing again.