SIDS, newborn & toddler naps

[Wingingthis]

Hello,

I have a (very noisy/clumsy/energetic) 2.5 year old and a 2 month old. I’m aware all 2.5 month olds naps are meant to be in the same room as me but how on earth am I meant to do this with a toddler around? The sling works but is breaking my back (I have a very sleepy baby who needs big naps) pram walks are fine as well but find it hard with the toddler who isn’t great at not running off. And obviously we’re not going to any toddler groups at the moment so no car naps really! Help please!

I know there was a specific style made by Fisher Price that was removed from sale for safety reasons due to it's design a couple of years ago but there are still 100s of other styles available to buy.
They would not be allowed to be sold surely if they were considered a danger. I know there will have been tragedies where babies have died in a bouncer - and that is heartbreaking. But they are still sold unlike a loose sling that was around about ten years ago that sadly caused the death of several babies. Those slings were removed from the market and are no longer sold. Bouncers are still sold. I am not defending bouncers - in way I am just genuinely curious as they are a baby product available everywhere. Baby change tables could be considered unsafe - babies can roll off and fall to the ground. They are also sold everywhere. Surely they would be completely banned and taken off the market if they were dangerous.

Bouncers are dangerous for SLEEPING babies

But babies sleep in their pram seats which are often the same shape as the style of bouncer seat I had. It went flat. Not completely like a plank of wood flat but as flat as her pram seat went (mammas and pappas pram - proper big one). I won't say that bouncers are 100% safe for babies because neither are slings, car seats, changing tables, co sleeping, those sleeping pod things - all items that are legally sold.
It is always a tragedy when a baby dies. I would never want a baby to die. I was honestly just curious as they are still sold everywhere.
I will leave it at that. It will be the OPs decision as to whether she decides to use one.

Bouncers are not "VERY DANGEROUS". When used correctly with a harness, they are very very slightly less safe than a baby sleeping flat on it's back in a cot. It's not recommended as a long term, overnight, unsupervised sleep option. Big difference between actively "dangerous" and very slightly less safe. It is safer, for example, than taking a baby for a drive in a car, in that baby is more likely to be injured in an accident than it is to be taking a nap in a bouncer used correctly. Risk is relative and sleeping in a bouncer, used correctly, is a very low risk!

“It's good to get baby used to the noise of their older brother/normal household”

What if they don’t? You just deal with an overtired baby for weeks on end? That sounds rather cruel (for the whole family). My baby does in fact sleep around “normal” noise including older sibling but if they didn’t I wouldn’t persevere with it necessarily

I'm not advocating bouncers, but I did use them especially with my baby who had reflux and would not be able to nap post bottle without vomiting everywhere

I had a similar age gap. I was horrendously anxious about SIDS so they slept wherever I was. I used a Moses basket downstairs but my youngest spent most of his time on me. I'd watch telly, read books or let her make me play food and bring it to me. I'd also go for walks to the park when he was due a nap so he'd sleep in the pram. We muddled on through and he went into his own room at about 7 months.

@CM0TD Of course not. But it's always worth trying normal noise before imposing complete silence at nap times.

If baby doesn't tolerate it then you change around the routine.

Mine has slept through all of 3yo DS's playing. If anything she's harder work on the days when he's gone back to nursery. She sleeps in her pram or rocking chair. Sometimes I've popped her on her mat in the front room and she's fallen asleep on there for a bit. She's then in her next to me at night.

We've just gone with the flow really.

“ Sometimes I've popped her on her mat in the front room and she's fallen asleep on there for a bit”

I’ve always wondered what it’s like to have one that does that

@CM0TD my first was like that. Until I had no-nap no-sleep DC3 I didn’t realise babies didn’t automatically do that

Argh you poor thing. Mine sleep but have always needed help (feeding, cuddles, sling, car etc) - my 2yo can now be left to it in his bed but neither of mine were ever “drift off on a playmat” types

Mine always had naps in their bedroom when we were home. I would either go for a rest or get on with some jobs round the house. They pretty much napped 2 hrs every day. I realise advice changes & you're supposed to have them with you at all times - but I wouldn't think being squashed up in a sling is safer than lying flat in a cot in a quiet room.

I used a baby monitor with a motion sensor that alarmed if they hadn't taken a breathe in too long a period.

It’s a good job there are safety guidelines around sling use too so that babies aren’t just squashed into them, isn’t it