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Original poster

Please prevent me from punching my friend's lights out

60 replies

catski · 23/09/2007 20:11

only everytime I go to my facebook page her status is something along the lines of "X is enjoying a lovely glass of wine whilst Y [her son - one month younger than mine] happily sleeps for another 12 hours".

a) My son (5 months old) wakes up on average 5 times a night and I am wild-eyed with sleep deprivation. b) much as I feel the need to, I can't down the nearest bottle of vodka as am still breastfeeding.

They are coming over for dinner in a couple of weeks and I'm dreading them sitting there and going on about how incredibly lucky they are whilst making 'poor you' noises at me. I can't even lay into the cooking sherry to numb the pain.

Am I just jealous? Too right I am! I'd give anything for a decent night's sleep. Please send tips on how I can keep my simmering resentment at bay. Sob.

OP posts:
McDreamy · 23/09/2007 20:12

Their time will come

moljam · 23/09/2007 20:14

if its any help-tell them my ds was fantastic sleeper till he was 8 months,then stopped.

pinkbubble · 23/09/2007 20:16

Just grin and ignore, I had a friend who did this over her and my DDs teeth! Yes teeth, everytime we spoke she said has E got any teeth yet - to which my answer was no! J has 2. A few weeks later again same question, again same answer from me, she would reply well J has 6. WELL SO WHAT!!!! My DD was completely dry day and night a yr before her DD was and I had great satisfaction in handing over a bag of nappies to her before my DD reached 2!

So the moral of this story is, as McDreamy said, your time will come!

pinkbubble · 23/09/2007 20:17

And when your DC starts sleeping beautifly hers probably wont! She could be lying thou!!!!

Is her child breast fed too?

DirtyGertiefromnumber30 · 23/09/2007 20:23

oooh, hate the smug mums. She'll get hers dont worry.
If it's not sleep problems, it will have feeding issues or be a clingy whinger. No baby is a perfect all rounder. (well that's what i convince myself!)

god, how annoying writing that on her facebook though! Me think she may protest too much!!!

Miaou · 23/09/2007 20:23

oooh catski that's awful! My ds2 (8 weeks) is a good sleeper but I am very careful not to make a deal of it in front of other people (particularly with small babies!) because it's just - well, mean really! And I'm sure I'll have the toddler from hell in retribution

Tommy · 23/09/2007 20:26

you could tell her that my DS1 slept for 12 hours from 8 weeks until he was a year old. He then woke up every night and demanded milk until he was about 2 and a half

Original poster
catski · 23/09/2007 20:28

Thanks for the moral support!

No, her LO is FF and being weaned as I type actually - I guess that'll be something else to feel inadequate about as I don't intend to wean my son until the 6 month mark - am praying he doesn't reject all food when the time comes whilst her son is dining at The Ivy.

Teeth! I guess that's another one to look forward to!

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 23/09/2007 20:28

Is she breastfeeding or formula? If her kid is formula you just sit there feeding yours whilst asking her about the price of formula and making sympathetic noises when she describes sterilising all the bottles.

Appear calm and happy. You could love feeding your baby, ok so you're tired, but he's healthy and feeding well. So you can't drink, but you just say it's a sacrifice worth making and you feel quite healthy as a result (ok, that one is a plain lie). Don't make out that you are finding anything a struggle.

Chances are that things in her rl won't be going so swimmingly.

Tommy · 23/09/2007 20:29

catski - do baby led weaning - that will show her that your DS eats super duper well while hers is still on gloop

Rhubarb · 23/09/2007 20:30

Why would you feel inadequate? You are giving your ds the very best start in life by breastfeeding and not forcing food down him until he's 6 months old. That is to be commended! You are sacrificing a convenient lifestyle for the health of your baby - you should be proud!

madamez · 23/09/2007 20:30

Have a bottle of whisky and BF - your baby will sleep well.

DISCLAIMER: any advice given you follow at your own risk.

Mercy · 23/09/2007 20:30

Don't really know what facebook is but what a smug thing to say - it's unneccesary.

As others have said, wait until baby gets older adn see what happens - 4 months is nothing!

Twiglett · 23/09/2007 20:31

catski I have a theory that has panned out to date

in the first 3 years of their lives children have exactly the same amount of tears

you're getting yours at the beginning .. she'll get hers .. and it'll be tougher because she won't be expecting it

smile and nod, just smile and nod

KaySamuels · 23/09/2007 20:31

Oh god I hate these super smug mums! Why have that on your facebook message? Why?

Other posters are right her time will come, and you can choose to bide your time and suffer her super smugness or you can avoid her / severe the ties of friendship. Me and DP knew a supoer competetive couple (my big telly cost this, my camera has 5million gazillion mega billion pixels etc yawn yawn! ) who we managed to tolerate socially until they too had a ds six months after us, then it was too much!! They were a right 'mare who we avoided at all costs! We did end up being the quietly smug ones tho as they had huge ishoos with feeding and attention seeking from their pfb! Ha Ha!

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 20:31

What is it with mums who think it's a competition? You know what they say I think the lady doth protest to much!!
Big Fat Porkies!! When they come for dinner tell her how lovely it is to share the closeness of a midnight cuddle with your baby and what a great bond you have in those twighlight (Know I've spelt that wrong) moments!!

JiminyCricket · 23/09/2007 20:32

people lie

Mercy · 23/09/2007 20:35

Erm, having seen the last couple of posts, I would say don't get competitive with her.

Agree with Madamez (although a double shot may be better than a bottle!)

Miaou · 23/09/2007 20:42

oooh I love your theory Twiglett!!!

Original poster
catski · 23/09/2007 20:43

I don't know why I feel inadequate about the weaning thing - she just seems to feel so right about everything that it makes me doubt if I'm doing the right thing. Totally my problem, not hers!

Am planning on giving BLW a go and hope it goes smoothly.

I do enjoy breastfeeding my son and am glad that it has worked out for us. I think what makes me a bit cross is that she had lots of problems trying to breastfeed and switched to formula after a few weeks. I feel like I did my best to be supportive during all that - both with trying to help her with bf-ing but also with her decision to stop. I never mention the breastfeeding/formula thing because I don't want to tread on any feelings. I guess I just feel like the sensitivity is not really returned in the same way.

OP posts:
DaisyMOO · 23/09/2007 20:46

I was probably a bit like your friend with my first baby 7 years later I realise how annoying and boring I must have been going on about what a great sleeper ds1 was. I thought I knew it all and had it all sorted. Ds3 though has only slept through the night about twice though and he's almost 2 so I've been paid back BIG TIME. You've no reason to feel inadequate so just ignore her and enjoy your baby!

Hassled · 23/09/2007 20:46

The 2 of my (4) children who slept like angels and were placid and smiley for the first 18 months then turned into horrendous toddler devil children for the next couple of years - DS3 was THAT child who bit other children at Toddler Groups (there's always one). So your friend will get her comeuppance and have aged 10 years by the time the toddler wilderness years are over - and you'll be able to drink wine by then .

DaisyMOO · 23/09/2007 20:47

Having just read your last post, my guess is that she possibly feels a bit inadequate compared to you because breastfeeding didn't work out for her, so she's trying to make herself feel a bit better by bigging up what a great sleeper her ds is.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 23/09/2007 20:49

catski - if her LO is so well settled - why arent you going there for dinner? Surely she has the time and you need the rest?????

choolie · 23/09/2007 20:50

I have similar with girl from work who was expecting same time as me, but went early, so her DS is 3 wks older than mine. She swapped to formula as it was more convenient for her, then smugly tells me her DS was sleeping through at 3mo, and she gets out and about all the time and is forever asking me if I ever get out (still BF 7mo - also still not drinking like you!) as if I'm chained to the house. My DS still feeds twice a night. Well, it turns out her DS "sleeping though the night" involves her having to go in and resettle him to sleep with his dummy at least 6 times in the night.

uh oh, I could give you more examples, but DS is calling through the monitor, just as DH runs me a bath, dam his timing is impecable! - he woke earlier just as I was about to eat tea!

basically, it's either lies lies and dam lies, or their just too dam smug!
jealous? me???