Does anyone regret hiring a sleep consultant? Or definitely NOT regret it?

[Sandrine1982]

Hi.

So we have an 8 month old who has never slept long stretches. Since she was born, she has been doing 2-3h stretches of night sleep. Recently she has done a 5h stretch but that seemed to be a coincidence more than anything else. I felt like a new woman but I didn't want to feel happy about it because these things never last :(

At the moment, she seems to be going through a sleep regression combined with some teething (two bottom teeth are finally visible - shouldn't she sleep better now that they have pierced)?

We are thinking of hiring a sleep consultant around her 9 or 10 months if her sleep doesn't improve when this regression is finished. We just can't take this anymore.

A bit of background:

• She is a very alert, intelligent, active baby
• She sleeps in her cot, which is next to my bed (my partner sleeps in a spare room)
• I am an extremely quiet sleeper so I don't think I wake her up
• She has a good routine and good naps
• 2 naps per day, usually lasting 1h20min each (or at least 40 min)
• Bedtime between 19:45 and 20:15
• Is combination fed (50% formula, 50% BF)
• Last feed is formula (around 100ml, she won't take more)

I've always breast-fed during the night but I always try to leave her to self-settle first - or later settle her with a bit of water or a dummy - which often works. I've been trying to wean her off the breast at night but I admit she has a bit of a sleep association with this.

Anyway, if people have been in a similar situation, how did you resolve it? If you hired a sleep consultant, did it work? Or did you regret it?
Or in the end, did sleep improve on its own after this regression?

ANY TIPS GREATLY APPRECIATED xxxx

Thanks.

The other thing is that I would love to continue breastfeeding for a few more months, because I've noticed that breast milk is so much better for her digestion than formula.

However I have very little milk now, so if I stop breastfeeding at nighttime, that might be it. I would just like to keep maybe one night feed - but arguably that will be confusing for the baby?
Do I have to go cold turkey if I wean and sleep train?

It's such a conundrum. I hate the fact that breastfeeding and long stretches of sleep are almost mutually exclusive !!!!
I don't know anyone who successfully breastfeeds and their babies sleep well. And I know many mothers! WHY does it have to be like that? One only wants the best for their baby, and ends up in a fucked-up habit :-(

Sorry, just feeling really low today :(

We went cold turkey on the night feeds when DS was 10 months old. I continued to breastfeed him during the day (well, first thing in morning, daytime, and bedtime) until after his second birthday. At that point I decided I'd had enough and stopped gradually (one feed at a time).

He slept badly for the first year but I think that was mainly because of silent reflux caused by CMPA - which we didn't realise for a long time, but once it was under control and we sleep trained, he slept much better.

"I would just like to keep maybe one night feed - but arguably that will be confusing for the baby?"
Yes I think it would be I'm afraid.

"Do I have to go cold turkey if I wean and sleep train?"
I don't think you have to do anything, as I said there are more gradual methods, but personally I think night weaning (note, night weaning, not complete weaning) is essential if you want to sleep train.

Breastfeeding is supply and demand - you say you have very little milk but if you continue to offer breast when you want (morning and evening?) your supply will probably adjust.

I don’t think breastfeeding equals no long stretches of sleep. DS Is 8 months and has slept through most nights since he was around 2 and a half months, very lucky lady I know! He’s never had formula milk.
He is a horrendous napper though, I’m currently being held hostage in his dark bedroom with him draped across me!

I agree on stopping breast feeding in the night and also that I would move her to her own room. There are some good quality studies showing that kids moved to their own rooms sleep better.

Re milk production, I BF DD through a year and she was sleeping through the night from about 3 months with no feeding. She’s also huge! I also felt like my milk supply was done to nothing by 7-8 months but DD was still tracking fine for weight and sleeping through the night so obviously getting enough. I think you kind of have to trust that your body is doing what it needs to do, unless you’re seeing evidence to the contrary (ie, baby not gaining weight). DD did take to weaning pretty quickly and I also offered 5 feeds during the day, but she dropped down to 3 on her own around 8 months. Point is, you can keep breast feeding with no night feeds!

Also if you’re worried about supply, just pump when you’d normally do a dream feed.

Thanks guys. That sounds very positive.
I do think I have a very low supply though.
When I pump, after about 2-4 hours after last feed, I only get about 40-50ml. It's depressing. Baby is fine though. She's on the 50th percentile, but I think that's also because we supplement with formula.
However she's gone off formula recently, I don't know why.
Maybe she's just lost her appetite in general because of this weird leap she's going through ..

We got a sleep consultant at four months. She was a hellish sleeper. I was v anxious about it as did not want to do any kind of cry it out, the sleep trainer was the one who identified that her sleep was mostly down to reflux/allergies and gave us the confidence to keep pushing that with doctor.

At your stage however, with similar wake ups, the way we resolved it was I went back to work at nine months and my DH tool shared parental leave and we swapped: I slept in the spare room, he slept in with her. Basically, not smelling me reduced her waking anyway, then the first few nights if she woke and he couldn't settle her immediately I came in and fed her then left again. Then, I expressed milk and he had two bottles and that got him through the night. Then after a couple of weeks when she realised she could have milk but no mummy cuddles, she mostly started to sleep through.

It's not all been plain sailing but they continued to co-sleep for about another five months, long after he was back at work. If I sleep in with her I end up feeding in the middle of the night if she wakes so I try not to do it too often.

Re:expressing, don't assume because you don't get much from the pump you're not producing much. It may be true, but I saw a lactation consultant about my oversupply and I still got v little from a pump. I ended up spending a fortune on an elvie pump when I returned to work to ensure I kept supply up and it was v different to my other one.

So.... honestly if you want to keep feeding and aren't sure about cry it out, I'd focus on night weaning before the sleep consultant and get your other half involved as much as you can. And if it helps: after 10 months of being the worst sleeper of anyone I know, at 18 months she's one of the best, and is still breastfeeding, so it is possible though it seemed unimaginable at the time.

Pumping yield is not indicative of supply.
A baby is much better at getting milk than any pump.