4 month old sleep problems, please help!!

[MummaW88]

Hi all,

I’m new to mumsnet so apologies if I don’t use all the acronyms etc!

I’m a first time mum, my daughter has just turned 4 months old. Out of nowhere, she has started becoming absolutely hysterical when it comes to nap/bedtime. It doesn’t matter whether I pick her up, hold her, rock her, shhhh her, pat her, put her down.

She has always had white noise playing, I make sure the room temperature is right, she’s fed and clean. Nothing physically bothering her that I can tell, she seems well within herself (although I think she is teething). I try putting her down for naps at the recommended times, I watch out for her signs of her becoming tired. It doesn’t seem to matter what I do!

She has eventually cried herself out over the last couple of days, but I really don’t feel comfortable with leaving her to scream every time she has a nap. But nothing I do seems to comfort her.

I’ve called my HV for advice and am waiting to hear back from them.

Any helpful advice would be very welcome. I’m new to being a mum and trying my best, especially in these difficult times. But this is wearing me down :(

What are her nap times? How often is she feeding? What's her weight like? Was she a good sleeper until recently?

4 month sleep regression. My daughter refused to nap, she could go all day without a nap despite my best efforts and was a complete misery. In the end I used to push her in the pram round and round the garden until she nodded off then I would leave her outside to nap. It was painful and took time to get there.

On the plus side the sleep regression did end and we got her back napping in her cot and other than that blip she’s been a great sleeper.

Where is she napping? It was about 4 or 5 months when DC1 started refusing to nap downstairs, too manage distractions and FOMO I think. I had one day of struggling to get them to sleep upstairs in the cot and after that all was fine.

Nighttime on the other hand was a completely different matter!

Use wonder weeks the app, helps advise if they're going through a phase and what to expect and how to help them. Sometimes it helps you realise your not going insanse and there's a reason for it 💗

@dancingmama

I try to get her down for a nap every hour - hour and a half. She feeds every 3 hours roughly. Weight has always been good, she’s around 15lb now (has to weigh her at home due to lockdown). She hasn’t been the best napper if I try and put her down, but she would sleep on me for a decent amount of time. She sleeps pretty well at night usually, wakes up once or twice for a feed.

@byvirtue I have tried the pram, she just gets hysterical :,( even went for a drive today and she only slept 20 minutes. I did wonder if it was the dreaded sleep regression!

@Lenny1980 she usually sleeps on me downstairs to be honest, I was trying to go by the advice of keeping it light and household noise etc so they know the difference between day and night! But I have been trying upstairs in a dark room with her white noise machine on and that doesn’t seem to work either.

@Babypug thank you I haven’t heard of that one before, I’ll download it now

There is a book you can buy on amazon to support the app. I've got it as sometimes it's nice to know what's going on with them.
2nd baby here now and already different to the first but this helps me just get to know them a bit better and what o can do to help if they're having a developmental stage xx

Oh goodness yes the 4 month sleep regression!

I remember it well with both of my girls.

The screaming was horrible but there was nothing really specific we could do to soothe, they would eventually fall asleep. Obviously lots of comfort and cuddles.

It's horrible but it will pass

@Babypug I do love a book or an app, the more information the better! I’ve downloaded it now and just had a brief look, already I can see a lot that rings true with my LO so thank you for the tip xx

Yep, that lovely developmental leap.

No advice, I'm in the same boat. Good luck!

I had to do it for a week to get her used to it. If you do something often enough it will probably start to work as they get used to it and stop resisting. is it practical to drive her round every day/twice a day? will you be stuck in the car with her until she wakes up or does she wake up as soon as you stop?

I bought a snooze shade for our pram so she was in almost darkness. I was always very conscious of not wanting to do things to get her to sleep that would later become a sleep crutch for her, but equally they do just need to go to sleep at some point!

@makewaymakeway

It really is horrible, I hate to hear her cry! Just wish I could soothe her in some way. Cuddling seems to make it worse just feel so sorry for her. Thank you I really hope it passes soon xx

@Ilovethekittehs thank you, you too!

@byvirtue

Its definitely not practical to drive her round every day unfortunately, especially in current circumstances. She woke up as soon as I had to stop at traffic lights.

Her pram has a shade that pulls down so it’s dark, but she just gets so hysterical I can’t leave her. She used to fall asleep in her pram fine before, it all seems to have changed lately.

Sounds like sleep regression. Try leaving it a bit longer between naps?

@Russell19 I have tried that but then she gets overtired and it’s even worse

It sounds like you are doing really well. You say she sleeps well at night so that's great! It's likely the 4 month sleep regression. Try not to stress too much about the naps, enjoy the cuddles.

When she starts getting towards 6 months old it will become much easier and you can implement a routine if you like.

Hi there I'm also looking for advice ?
My LG is almost 18 weeks had her jags 2 days ago and boom no sleep at night!!
Sleeps fine during the day in her own room in the cot as I'm trying to get her used to it ..
But at night she's wide awake every 15 min ! I feel like a terrible mother does anyone have any tips please I'll try anything ! 😓 x

Thank you @dancingmama I’m trying I don’t mind her napping on me, I actually love it! But even that she fights me with now

@Aleshia31 my one was restless after her jabs but it usually settles down after a couple of days so hopefully things will start improving for you now

I'm hoping that is is just her jags and not a long lasting sleep regression. Also she's started to throw her legs and arms about in her basket so unsure if the basket is now restricting her ? Any one think her own cot would help ? And yes I understand the risk of sids but you've got to do what you've got to do right ? Xx

@Aleshia31 my LO has always done this, it’s always made us laugh! She’s a very restless sleeper and always has been, her legs are right up in the air sometimes! Is this a new thing for your LO? Xx

Yeah it's pretty new... she's always done it when she has wind but I've tried to wind again and nothing .. I'm unsure if it's now because she's almost head to toe in the basket she feels she needs more space ? I will
Literally try anything I'm so so tired x