3 months old. Wakes every 2 hours for a feed. Is it too early to sleep train?

[AutumnJames270120]

Hi Mums,

I am a first-time mum. My three-month-old (DD) is amazing at going to sleep by herself. We have a great bedtime routine that we start at 7pm each night:

• bath, bottle, bed.
• night time projector
• white noise

DD will fall asleep quickly once I lay her down. Literally within minutes and no crying at all. I understand this is great for a baby of her age.

The only problem is that she will wake every 1-2 hours screaming crying. It has been this way since birth. Sometimes she will sleep no longer than 45 minutes.

Every time she wakes up, I have been feeding her and putting her back down to sleep. She will not re-settle with just her dummy/pacifier. Once fed, she will then go back to sleep within 15-20 minutes once laid down.

It is rather exhausting, I am currently going downstairs to make bottles 5-7 times a night until she wakes up properly at around 7am. I understand I am probably doing this wrong as I am rewarding her with a bottle every time she wakes up.

I wanted some advice around this area. Is it too early to start sleep training? Falling asleep independently isn't the problem, as beforementioned. Our only issue is her staying asleep.

I must note that she currently sleeps in a snuzpod, next to our bed. We are in the same room. If I wanted to start sleep training, would I need to move her into her own room so that my presence is not stimulating her? My partner works and is up at 5am each day - he is truly exhausted too.

Any advice would be much appreciated. I do not have a mother to ask for advice. I am currently spending twelve hours from 7pm-7am waking up and making bottles every two hours.

She's too young. Can you use ready made formula at night to make life easier for now?

I take it she is formula fed?
At about 12 weeks (so a similar age to your DD) I started doing a feeding routine. It would go like this:
7am bottle (think it was a 6oz at 12 weeks but can’t remember exactly - it will say on the box), 11am, 2.45pm, bathtime at 6pm, 6.30pm and a dream feed at 11pm.
I made sure that she had a full feed each time and after a few weeks she started sleeping 11.30-6.30/7 as she was getting enough milk in the daytime.
I didn’t do any sleep training. She didn’t wake any earlier than 5 and if she woke then I would settle her back to sleep.
Before this, my DD was a very snacky eater and like you I was up making bottles what felt like all night!

I'm not against sleep training in general, but I think your DD is too young for it. Could you start to try to wean her off milk by giving water or a dummy instead?

Shes too young and should be in your room until at least 6 months so please don't move her out. Sids risk isn't worth it.

If she's wanting fed that often then have you tried upping her feeds to larger bottles? The chart on the back of the tin is just a recommendation.

With my DD I also found that 7pm bedtime was too early for her at that age, she'd go to sleep but then wake and wake. Keeping her up later and tiring her out more seemed to be the key to a deeper sleep. Fine line between overtired though!

She's too young for sleep training, but at that age I started a feeding and nap routine during the day, to make sure she was getting enough milk and wasn't overtired. Instead of feeding on demand I did a rough version of this:

7am bottle
10am bottle
1pm bottle
4pm bottle
7 bedtime bottle

Naps were whenever she seemed tired at this stage. Also for the first couple of weeks it was more like every 2 and a half hours.

I am rewarding her with a bottle every time she wakes up.

Get rid of this thinking now.
She is a tiny baby. She is not manipulating you. She has needs. Her stomach is tiny. She is hungry.

There will be growth spurts in the next few months that could make this sleep period look like a dream.

It's your job to see to her needs.

It's shit. It's exhausting and at times you may feel like you're breaking. You've just got to keep going. I found by about 3 it was getting better and the baby phase seemed like a distant nightmare.

I’m very pro sleep training but your LO is too young OP and is actually hungry. It will pass quicker than you think, good luck!

anniefrangipani well aren’t you delightfully supportive?!
OP is questioning something, she has her answer, now get back in your box!

Could you start to try to wean her off milk by giving water

This is very dangerous advice OP as can cause weight loss or electrolyte imbalance. Please do not do this.

@OuterMongolia I agree she is too young for sleep training but she is also too young for water. Babies should only have milk until 6 months unless advised otherwise by a doctor.

Echoing other PPs your baby is far far too young for any kind of training. And I say that as an advocate for APPROPRIATE sleep training. Three months is tiny, still newborn, of course they are waking up all the time to feed. Sorry if that’s not what you want to hear and I understand it is relentlessly hard but this is normal and there is no solution as such because (contrary to what it feels like) there isn’t a problem. I hope things improve for you soon.

You can sleep apart from baby but it’s not recommended until 6 months. Can you bring the kettle upstairs, or your partner sleep in another room? Unfortunately baby is too young for effective sleep training but you can try to make life more bearable with bigger feeds during the day, for example. It’s really tough, commiserations.

100% don’t give water. Your baby needs milk.

I would agree with setting a bottle schedule to discourage the snacking. Are you sure she’s waking because she’s hungry? It could be a wet nappy, trapped wind, in need of comfort. Do you try those things before feeding?

Your baby is waking to feed because she's hungry. Newborn babies feed frequently, because their stomachs are so small.

I would agree with setting a bottle schedule to discourage the snacking.

Babies at this age should be fed on demand. Hungry babies need to be fed.

At this age baby's go through a phase of learning to sleep More than 45 mins in one cycle and will be able to self settle back to sleep in time. But at 12weeks baby could also be having a growth spurt.l and so needs all the milk. Baby is drinking the milk so suggest she is genuinely hungry.

I would try introducing a daytime routine and try increasing each feed during the day by one ounce. How much are you giving in one feed at the moment?

I haven’t bottle fed a 3mo old. I was giving DD expressed BM which we treated like BFing. I don’t know if there is a maximum amount of formula babies should be having.

Is the projector and the white noise on all night? If she is used to those being on when she goes to sleep she will probably want them on all night. Everyone has cycles of deeper and lighter sleep. She might wake up completely and feel upset during her lighter cycles if the projector and white noise have stopped..

You need to feed her. My first fed every 2 hours 24/7 until he was 6 months old. You'll get through it! 3 months is tiny - definitely no sleep training at this age.

Yeah, not sure what your expectations were, but a 12 week old human being needs to eat very frequently and does not sleep for long periods. My DS didn't sleep for longer than 45 mins at that age. YABU to think you can train a tiny baby not to be hungry.

You're very lucky she goes to sleep by herself, that's unusual, please don't lose out on that benefit by causing her to associate being in bed with being hungry. That's a rod for your back in itself I'm afraid.

Prepared baby milk or get a Perfect Prep for upstairs, job done tbh. Revisit sleep training in three months' time.

It isn't easy at all but that's what babies are like. It doesn't last forever.

Thank you to all of the non-judgemental, helpful comments. As I said, I’m a first time mum. We all had to learn once. :)

Don’t worry OP, in breastfeeding class I was advised babies eat every 3hrs. When I was feeding every hr the first night I rang the hospital adamant that something was wrong
We all learn as we go

You're not rewarding her by giving her milk.. You're feeding her. Definitely do not sleep train at 12 weeks old.

I don’t see how you would sleep train her - refuse her the milk?? She’s waking up because she’s hungry, it has nothing to do with her ability to sleep. I would work on encouraging her to drink more during the day. Also, it’s been quite warm lately so maybe that’s why she wakes up thirsty. Is your room cool enough? Or is she maybe wearing a layer too many? As a pp said, it’s great that you can get her to sleep so easily in the first place, don’t push your luck.