SIDS fears and questions

[Eggcellent29]

Hello everyone!

Like many FTMs that I’ve spoken to, I’ve been totally shitted up by HVs and midwives giving information about SIDS.

I am struggling to get answers to questions about the risk factors as health care professionals that I speak to just repeat the Lullaby Trust website and information that I already know without actually answering!

I pop baby in his Next To Me at night so I have a clear view of him. He has a monitor on his tummy for breathing, temp and roll over so I would know if something went wrong as the alarm is like an air raid siren!

But I still can’t sleep from worry.

My LO will only sleep on his side or on me. He spends the day in a carrier but at night he has to go in his cot! He is very snotty (HV and GP have told me it’s normal and will pass) and side sleeping seems to be the only way he can snooze - on his back he chokes himself awake which is horrid for him and beyond terrifying for us!!

Does anyone out there know if side sleeping in itself increases the risk of SIDS, or is the fact that they could roll forward on to their tummy the problem?

I also panic endlessly about overheating. I know that you should feel their neck or chest but he always feels warm to me! Husband always says he feels fine. How do you guys judge it? I don’t want to make him cold either, ugh!! Also, what level of overheating are we talking about when it cleans to SIDS? I feel like if he even just gets a bit hot then something terrible will happen!

Apologises for he rambling post - sleep deprivation is a bitch!

Hi so the point is you put them down onto their back, if they then roll to their side it does not increase SIDS risk. What age is your LO? Also re how warm they are there is something called a glow egg which goes red if your room is too hot. I like to have it in the yellow or orange territory. I could go check the side of the box to explain what level that actually is. She sleeps in a grow and a sleeping bag and also in a next to me with an owlet monitor. Also we have an in ear thermometer and in the early days we used it loads thinking she was too hot but you stay to understand the difference after a while.

I use a gro egg and dress accordingly to guidance. Slightly cold is preferable but no-one can tell you how warm might cause harm. It’s linked to sleeping too deeply I believe.
Side sleeping is a risk, I always sleep her on her back but we bed share as she won’t sleep in the bedside crib or cot (now 7 months). Obviously a separate sleeping surface is preferred but I have had to bed share (bed is safe of bedding and pillows). My DH sleeps elsewhere, we don’t smoke and I am EBF so I am satisfied with the risk.

Smoking by anyone in the household and drinking are big risk factors. Breastfeeding is a protective factor. You have to judge what’s best for your situation.

Thanks for your reply :)

LO is six weeks old so still tiny!

We do have a groegg and it has helped my madness a bit! I follow the what to wear guide from Grobag as well. I’m guessing an owlet monitor is much like what we have? Our one just clips on his vest and connects to your phone

I also take his temp constantly and he is always fine. That’s probably a good way for me to tell - if i think he feels hot but his temp is fine then I probably need to chill out a bit!

This single biggest factor in reducing SIDS deaths was the advice to put babies on their back to sleep. Only their back. Not side sleeping, not front sleeping.

Does anyone out there know if side sleeping in itself increases the risk of SIDS

Side sleeping in itself is a risk.

Prone (front) sleeping is a very slightly larger risk than side sleeping. But only marginally. Both are independently factors.

Unstable side sleeping (whereby baby starts on side and ends up on front) is a much greater risk than either of the above. Also a much higher risk is babies who are used to being on their back unususlly sleeping on their front or side.

Source

Also, what level of overheating are we talking about when it cleans to SIDS?

If in doubt, go for making baby cooler and not warmer.

Some basic rules - never cover baby's head indoors. Don't put baby I'm a hat or hood to sleep in.

Use the Grobag what to wear guide

If you're not already using a baby sleeping bag, start using one when you can. They allow for much more consistent temperature management.

Aim for a cool bedroom. 18° is quite cool and often not possible to achieve in the British summer, when room temp is likely to be over 20°

You can get forehead thermometer strips if it helps you feel more confident. I get that feeling if being a FTM and not knowing what normal feels like. You will learn and get used to it though.

Thank you for your reply.

Most of what you suggest, other than the side sleeping, I am already doing so that’s good!

It’s interesting that the side sleeping itself is the risk. I wonder why this is?

He has never rolled on to his front. I am at a bit of a loss on what to do. He chokes on snot every time he’s on his back and wakes up. I’m too scared to have him sleep on me in bed for too long in case I fall asleep. And now I can’t put him on his side!

Any advice is gratefully welcomed!

The data is there, if you Google. The evidence base is useful, from Lullaby Trust. The attached is a screen shot of this pdf:

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.lullabytrust.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/Evidence-base-2019.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj4wN_JqOPoAhWyunEKHaPOAPcQFjACegQIBhAB&usg=AOvVaw242wo6rn9151iPyo0jxE3r" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Evidence Base

@Eggcellent29 do you have the book “what to expect - the first year” it explains bits on what you have asked here too.

Any advice is gratefully welcomed!

First suggestions would be swaddle and dummy.

Swaddle would be instead of a sleeping bag, not as well as. Needs not be anything fancy. A full sized cot sheet, cut in half along the short edge to make two long thin rectangles makes you two perfect swaddle sheets.

The swaddled recreates that tight, protected feeling that baby had in the womb and that is replicated when cuddling to you. It's a way to feel safe, tight and protected but with minimal parental involvement.

Dummy is The Number 1 Baby Tool. It allows for independent (ie without parental help) sleep without any crying. Getting baby to take a dummy can take some persistence but is worth it.

Sucking is the natural soothing method baby uses. A dummy allows for an independent way for baby to be soothed and comforted to sleep. As an aside, dummy use is also a protective SIDS factor - consistant dummy use lowers SIDS risk.

What is the opinion on propping up the end of the cot very slightly - so he is still on his back flat but head slightly elevated?
I'm not saying this is safe - but maybe someone on here knows the answer. I remember being able to do this with my bednest, and there were special feet for the cot we had too. But wasn't doing it at 6 weeks I don't think.

Thats an often recommended technique HV recommend Watertorture. There's nothing to say it's unsafe, as long as the cot/crib isn't too steep (which would cause baby to slide downwards or sidewards)

Tuna cans put under the cot legs at the head-end of the cot is great for babies who are prone to wind or spitting up.

Have you tried a nose frida to suck the snot out?

Sorry to jump in, but it’s related... what if you and baby fall asleep with baby on your chest? As obviously that’s sleeping on their front. Is this really bad/a SIDS risk? I have been doing this as it really settles her sometimes, but sometimes I fall asleep too. Although it’s never a deep sleep at all, I wake up with her at the slightest noise lol. LO is also still very tiny like yours OP, 5 weeks

If you fall asleep with baby on you, that is a much greater risk of the baby dying. You have SIDS risk as well as infant suffocation risk (which wouldn't be in SIDS figues) when falling asleep holding baby.

It's a really, really big risk and very dangerous.

Swaddling is no longer recommend as it increases the risk of SIDS through over heating. It's important that babies can increase their body mass by moving their arms above their head to release heat from their bodies.

Are you sure the choking is snot and not reflux?

Newborns can be quite mucousy but not usually snotty unless the have a cold.

The temperature thing is just experience, a good mantra is if they are too cold they will wake, if they are too hot they might not. Just feel your chest, then theirs and adjust as necessary.

A dummy is absolutely not the number one baby tool- I really disagree with that.

Are you in bed when you’re baby falls asleep on your chest? Sometimes we dose off esp in the early days, try not to but as long as you are in bed and not in an arm chair it’s more the risk of the fall rather than suffocation in that instance.

OP it sounds like you have alllllll the bases covered it really does. Try not to worry so much, easier said than done .
Your heightened sense of worry and anxiety is absolutely normal , it will calm down. Try and make sure you’re getting fresh air in the garden, repeating positive mantras to yourself and asking yourself is there any rational evidence behind your worry. We’ve all lay awake trying to listen for our baby’s breathing , it’s normal to fear the worst.

Water it's a to tilting the head of the cot as well these days. Advice changed a year or so ago as that too as it increases the risk of SIDS. Wedges are out too unfortunately for the same reasons.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/swaddling-slings/

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"Whilst we do not advise for or against swaddling, we do urge parents to follow the advice below..."
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Don't make shit up @tipon. Especially when talking about babies dying. It's important to be very factual so people can make informed decisions about their risk management.

@FATEdestiny

Woah! No need to get so hostile. The problem with new born babies is that there is such conflicting advice . Both from lullaby trust, NHS, midwives etc. One midwife will say swaddle, shift change the next will say no we don’t do that anymore .

Don’t take the thread down a nasty road, esp when new mums are merely seeking advice. It’s that nasty tone that makes the thread get derailed. Come on.

I would second a dummy! They reduce the SIDs risk and I found it really helped to keep my lo's nose clear of snot. Also helps no end to settle. You may need to try several brands to find the shape LO prefers but it was an absolute godsend for my babies.

Advice changed a year or so ago

Likewise bollocks. You picked the wrong person to attempt to educate on lullaby test advice and SIDS research. Advice has not changed on cot tilt in the last year. There has not been specific guidance on cot tilt aside from the clear cot advice for a flat surface.

We could talk about the litigation case against a bedside crib company whereby cot tilt was a factor in baby's death. As a result of this litigation there were maximum cot tilt limited put on cots that had them fitted. Other factors were involved in this particular death, namely half up, half down cot side - but that's not relevant here. But cot tilt wasn't the sole factor in the death. Lullaby Trust did not change advice.

@yelyahyoung look up safe co sleeping guidelines. My babies would only fall asleep on my chest for the first 6 weeks but then when they were fully asleep I would gently roll them down to my side and then safely bedshare. You do need to ensure that the environment is safe and that you're not falling asleep with baby on your chest.

@sauvignonblancplz you are right. I'm sorry.

I get (unduely) angry at the poor knowledge on SIDS, especially when stated as factual advice. But a new mum doesn't need to be reading that. Sorry OP

Fate I'm not quite sure why your being quite so aggressive and hostile 🤷‍♂️ 'Picking on the wrong person' you sound completely unhinged.

Water here's the link on sleep positioning

https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/are-sleep-positioners-safe-for-babies/ At the coroners court, it's been found cot tilting and wedges have been a part of cases where babies have died unexpectedly. I'm an HCP and this info is shared with our team when babies die in our trust.

I would look again at reflux if the choking is an issue. It's really common for reflux babies to be unhappy on their backs.

I would second safe bed sharing. Work well for lots of families

https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/