Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

Not waking for crying baby/breathing monitor

31 replies

Murphynat · 08/03/2020 13:07

Hi my DS is 5 weeks old and I'm not waking when his angelcare alarm goes off. Im also not waking properly when he cries and it's beginning to really worry me. My hubby leave for two weeks tonight and he's not very happy with me. Feeling like a failure 😢

OP posts:
DesLynamsMoustache · 08/03/2020 13:09

Are you in the same room?

oatybiscuit · 08/03/2020 13:13

Speak to your health visitor.

rottiemum88 · 08/03/2020 13:14

Are you in the same room? If not, that would be a start

nosleepp · 08/03/2020 13:18

Are you in the same room? If not is the monitor actually working?

gamerchick · 08/03/2020 13:19

Are you in the same room?

^^

DesLynamsMoustache · 08/03/2020 13:20

The breathing monitor alarm is like a klaxon so I'd be amazed if you were right next to it and sleeping through it. Even my heavily sleeping DH would be woken by that!

DesLynamsMoustache · 08/03/2020 13:21

(Also why is it going off regularly enough for this to have been a noticeable issue?)

GrumpyHoonMain · 08/03/2020 13:26

Do you sleep in the same room as the monitor? If you do then I don’t really know what you can do other than get someone to stay with you or go and stay with someone. It is a bit unbelievable to be honest - the alarms are very loud.

Original poster
Murphynat · 08/03/2020 13:32

I am in the same room right next to him. I think the alarm is not working properly as when it does go off and we check the baby is fine. But in any case, my hubby said I slept through the monitor going off last night which is worrying me.

OP posts:
DesLynamsMoustache · 08/03/2020 13:35

Have you always been a heavy sleeper or is this new? Honestly I don't really know what to suggest, I can't imagine sleeping through an alarm like that going off next to me. Is your hearing OK?

There are products for deaf parents that vibrate etc if that's something that's more likely to wake you.

bedtimestories · 08/03/2020 13:41

Are you taking any medications that could be causing you to sleep so heavy?

Purplequalitystreet · 08/03/2020 13:42

Could you set an alarm on your phone to wake you when he needs feeding? Would that be more likely to wake you?

Will you have any support during the day so you can nap then you won't be as exhausted?

When DS was tiny I quite often used to half wake up, then dream that I was feeding him when I wasn't. I'd wake after 5-10 mins feeling insanely guilty. It's a horrible feeling.

itshappened · 08/03/2020 15:07

Our breathing monitor used to go off when our eldest used to roll into a corner of her cot. Make sure its is placed directly under the space where your baby sleeps and maybe change the sensitivity setting.

But I agree with others, it seems odd that you are sleeping through it going off. The first time it went off I don't think I've ever jumped out of bed quicker and I had been fast asleep beforehand!

Are you breast feeding or formula feeding? Either way it might be worth spending a few days going skin to skin with your baby as much as possible, alongside only you feeding the baby to increase your oxytocin levels. I was watching a documentary on Netflix and apparently increased oxytocin levels make us more sensitive to babies crying in the night. Usually mums are the primary care giver and in the study they were measured as having higher levels of oxytocin than fathers; and this correlated with a change in brain making them more likely to wake up when the baby. I'm not an expert on this but I reckon it's worth trying as really the worse thing that could happen is you spend a couple of days cuddling your gorgeous baby with your husband taking care of you!

Spam88 · 08/03/2020 15:22

Don't beat yourself up OP, you're probably exhausted!

Try and get as much sleep as you can during the day (as someone with babies that would only nap on me, I know that's easier said than done!). I'm sure you will wake up, just perhaps your husband was waking quicker.

moobar · 08/03/2020 15:33

I may be completely off track here but do you trust dh. Just a slight worry when you say in op he is not happy with you. You have just had a baby, five weeks ago, he is going away. Did it really go off? Or is there a possibility he is trying to worry or undermine you.

Crying can be different, sometimes if it's a light cry and resettle you are unlikely to wake. If baby needs you that would wake anyone.

Dh sleeps much lighter than I do. He often says baby woke lots last night and I think Hmm. Unless I get up baby has not woken lots last night.

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 08/03/2020 20:24

@moobar did you hurt your arms with that reach??

I imagine he's not happy because she's sleeping through the alarm, and he won't be there to check on the baby. If my spouse regularly slept through the noise of a piece of equipment designed to let me know if my baby had stopped breathing and i was going to be away for several nights, i wouldn't be happy either! That's fucking terrifying!

OP are you drinking before bed? Do you snore/have sleep apnea/take any medications that make you drowsy? Is there someone who can stay with you while your DH is away?

HavelockVetinari · 08/03/2020 20:27

If you're not waking to deal with your baby's needs then your DH can't go away, it's not safe. Do you have some kind of disability or long term health condition that stops you waking up? Or are you drinking?

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 08/03/2020 20:30

Agree with vetinari, if you're sleeping through crying and alarms, you can't be left alone with the baby.

Horehound · 08/03/2020 20:32

Are you actually sleeping if the baby is crying out?

bingbangbing · 08/03/2020 20:41

Had this only happened once?

If so, I wouldn't worry.

It happened to a friend and it happened because she was beyond exhausted.

Can you get some rest, somehow?

My friend is not a failure and neither are you.

The trip needs to be cancelled though.

moobar · 08/03/2020 21:25

@SomeoneElseEntirelyNow fair point, understood.

Domestic violence solicitor, pre baby, often my mind works that way. Hence my might be on wrong track.

Thinking about if it was me, dh would say, you are exhausted, I am not going. I would post saying I'm worried about this. Op posted saying he was not happy with her, then she had slept and missed it once last night.

Just thought I would ask the question, albeit a reach.

skinnymarshmallow · 08/03/2020 21:32

Is he telling the truth?! Men tell fibs about sleep to make you look bad. My dh says I sprawl out, hog the bed and steal the duvet and he has been shivering all night. I know he lies because there's been nights he's said this when I've been awake the whole night and he's been snoring comfortably away.

mrsm12 · 08/03/2020 21:34

Are you walking up to a screaming baby? Are you getting much sleep? I know I slept through my one of my twins screaming one night but it was sheer exhaustion and my dh was worried about me as opposed to upset with me. Have you any family around for support while he's gone?

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 08/03/2020 21:37

Men tell fibs about sleep to make you look bad.

Not any man ive ever met @skinnymarshmallow, sounds like you might have just chosen a shit one.

skinnymarshmallow · 08/03/2020 21:59

@SomeoneElseEntirelyNow oh really? Thanks for telling me. I'll get on to my solicitor first thing

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread