Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Help! What time should be bedtime for a 23 mth old? 8? 9? 10??

27 replies

Luxmum · 28/08/2007 07:31

Sigh, For the last 2 weeks my DS just WONT go to sleep. I used to be able to put him in his cot awake, at 8:30 and just saunter out the room, and he'd happily lie there drinking his milk and singing to himself. Now, he wont. He wont even let me put his PJs on, so often I give up in frustration and he goes to bed just in the nappy. One of us has to stay in the room till he is asleep and this can take up to 2 hours.... So from 8-10 we're in his room. ie we have NO life. I'm due in 3 weeks, so need all the sleep I can get, and the thought of haveing TWO children who need hours to put to sleep is just headwreaking.. He wont let his dad put him to sleep (screams the house down for me) and if he gets really upset, he has a lovely habit of vomitting, so I know we do take this as an excuse for treating him softly. But please, is this a phase? When will it STOP!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Trinityrhino · 28/08/2007 07:34

dd2 did exactly the same and then just stopped when the baby the new baby was about 4 weeks. Now she just goes up to bed with a kiss and cuddle and a rink of juice and thats it!

oh and she goes to bed at 7, you ds may be overtired which doesn't help at bedtimes.

Good luck xxx

CantSleepWontSleep · 28/08/2007 07:41

Does he sleep during the day?

Olihan · 28/08/2007 07:49

What about putting him to bed earlier, say 7pm ish, then even if you have a nightmare settling him, you'll still have a bit of evening left. It may also stop him being quite so tired the following day if he's gone to sleep a bit earlier.

I have lots of sympathy for you, my ds1 did exactly the same just before dd was born, it's as though they sense the change is imminent and it unsettles them.

I think we dealt with it just by being very firm, and not letting him get away with refusing to do things but also having a bit of a game - pretending to put his pajamas on ourselves and things like that. I also remember getting him ready for bed downstairs, in front of CBeebies so he was a bit distracted from what we were doing.

babyblue2 · 28/08/2007 07:51

7pm

fawkeoff · 28/08/2007 08:06

my ds is nearly 23months and i was having problems settling of a n evening.I decided to stop his afternoon nap if it was after 12.30pm.I now put him to bed between 7pm-7.30pm and he is asleep within 10 minutes

Original poster

Luxmum · 29/08/2007 11:14

Sigh, I just don't know... He sleeps for about 2 hours at creche (I've asked them to wake him if he sleeps longer) but he's really active, and is haring around the house until we drag him kicking and screaming to bed at 8pm. He'd easily stay up for an hour longer at least. He had to sleep with us last night as he was just so hysterical at going to bed... Please tell me this is a phase?!?!

OP posts:

ChipButty · 29/08/2007 11:17

I would make the nap much shorter and put him to bed earlier. Both of mine (2 and 5) are in bed by 7pm. Hope you get it sorted. x

Nemo2007 · 29/08/2007 11:21

sounds like he is overtired. My DD1 is 20mths and gets like this if she hasnt had enough sleep. All of mine[3.10,20m and 8m] go to bed between 7-8pm, usually closer to 7pm though unless something has happened. Both the youngest go at exactly the same time and have a joint story, DS goes to his room and waits for me so he gets about 10 mins longer.

Nemo2007 · 29/08/2007 11:22

2 hours is a long afternoon sleep. Both my girls sleep for around 1-1.5hrs in the day maximum

artichokes · 29/08/2007 11:25

Also sounds like over tiredness to me. Try putting him to bed at 7pm. Do you have a structured routine leading to bed time (i.e bath, PJs, story, milk)? If not then the same calm routine every night might help. Good luck/

Piggy · 29/08/2007 11:25

Agree with shorter nap and earlier bed. Ds2 (1.10) has 1 - 1.5 nap and goes to bed at 6.30 and ds1 (2.10) has no nap and goes to bed at 6.45. I am anal about bedtime because I want my life back in the evenings!

nell12 · 29/08/2007 11:28

Does he still need an afternoon nap? Both mine had given up their naps by 20months; I was not too keen on that but it did mean that they were well and truly ready for bed by 6 30 - 7ish!

serenity · 29/08/2007 11:30

It is a phase in that he honestly won't be doing this when he's 18 Or at least if he is it won't be your problem. OK, seriously - he has a similar bedtime as mine did (and still do actually) so I don't think changing it will necessarily help, does he have to get up really early the next day? Did anything change to make him stop sleeping? I don't want to ask you a string of questions, but just trying to get an idea of what's keeping him awake....how bright or busy is his room? Do you interact with him when you have to stay? Boredom is a good tool, so nothing to do, nothing to see, you don't talk to him - read a book, have a cup of tea and ignore him while you're sitting there. At this age you could try CC (not my cup of tea with babies, but I did the Pick Up/Put Down thing with older ones)

foxybrown · 29/08/2007 11:36

It does sound as though its the afternoon nap that needs adjusting. My DD had dropped it at the same age.

All of mine (5,4 and 2) go to bed at 7. We have a strict tea, bath, story, bed routine.

It is hard to tackle bedtime/sleep problems and requires determination and motivation on our part, but my experience is that it takes about 3 nights to crack it and make a change so it is worth it. I hope this helps. Good luck with it.

TheMags · 30/08/2007 09:04

DS1 (just 2) goes to bed at 7.30 but sometimes talks for a bit and doesnt fall asleep until 8ish. He does still have an afternoon nap but I only allow 1.5 hours as I find if he has 2 hes an absolute nightmare at bedtime (he would happily sleep for 2 hours plus if he could though!). He probably only needs an hour but I have a 5 month old who is a bugger for daytime naps so I need this time to try and ensure DS2 gets a decent nap as well.

inkstigmata · 30/08/2007 14:04

@ Luxmum: When you say "haring around the house until we drag him kicking and screaming to bed at 8pm" that sounds like overtiredness.

Bedtime is 7.30pm for my 3YO and 6YO (they share a room). They play around for a while but don't come out of the room except for the loo. I think they are actually overtired by then because they mess around more at bedtime since sharing than they used to, but there's not much I can do since the arrival of DD3--the big girls' bedtime routine has doubtless worsened for them.

LazyLinePainterJane · 30/08/2007 14:08

DS is 24 months. He goes to bed at 7, no later. We have found that if he goes to bed later than this, it takes him HOURS to go to sleep as he has simply got overtired.

Just because he doesn't seem tired downstairs, doesn't mean it isn't time to put him to bed. Ds would happily stay up for longer, but his bedtime makes sense.

Maybe try dropping the day sleep once or twice and see if it makes a difference?

Thelittlesoldiersmummy · 30/08/2007 14:09

I would say he is sleep too much in the day tell nursery to cut it to 1 hour and put him to bed at 7. My 3 year old now doesnt sleep in the day and he is in bed (usually asks bless him) at 7.

essbeehindyou · 30/08/2007 14:12

Message withdrawn

inkstigmata · 30/08/2007 14:15

Hmmm, . . . I'd be nervous of cutting down the daytime nap. If this little guy is so hyper at 8pm I think that's coz he's too tired, not insufficiently tired. Couldn't that make things worse?

Miaou · 30/08/2007 14:28

Ds1 goes to bed at 7pm and has a two hour nap after lunch each day. Agree with previous poster about the surge of energy being a red herring - the nearer it gets to bedtime, the more hyper ds1 gets (not helped by the fact that dd1 and dd2 tend to giddy him up unless I stop them ). Tbh I think the more hyper he is, the more tired he is! Also agree about routine - ds1 has a bath most nights and that seems to help him know that it's gearing up to bedtime. He then has a cup of milk, teeth brushed and into bed. He doesn't get a story or songs because he won't have them (won't be read to and says "Stop. Now!" if I sing to him ). If I leave bedtime until too late (eg if I'm stuck feeding ds2) then he can be up until 9pm or after standing at his door shouting! Fortunately he's not a vomiter - difficult to know how to deal with that one.

legalalien · 30/08/2007 15:07

my DS (2.9) goes to bed at 8.30 / 8.45ish. Like yours used to, he goes to bed fine and is not overtired (he has about 1 hr nap in the afternoon - which he really needs, since he gets up at about 6 or 6.30) - and that's fine with me since I work (if he went down at 7 I wouldn't see him in the evening). we have a routine of watching an episode of a DVD (thomas - what else!) - ONE episode, in semi-darkness - and then going upstairs to bed, come hell or high water - as soon as the music comes on at the end of the episode, we're off - bit like snake charming!

shatteredmumsrus · 03/09/2007 15:33

I am in a similar dilemma at the moment. Son is not a good sleeper at night and has woken several times a night since birth, nearly 3 years ago!I am trying to keep him awake in the day but it is so hard. He seems ready for a sleep around 12 but if I dont give him one he will be vile and if we are in the car he falls asleep there and is very hard to wake.Before this I was giving him an hour in the day but he wasnt going to bed before 9 which is ridiculous and was killing me. As soon as he was in bed I went too. Not good for relationships!!!I wanted more children but there is no chance now, my second son has aged us both by twemty years due to his lack of sleeping for the last three years,we couldnt survive another child like that as much as we love him! Advice regarding daytime nap very welcome............

oliveoil · 03/09/2007 15:37

overtired imo

tea at 5ish
play and watch tv etc till 6ish
bath, pj's
downstairs for Wonderpets (!!)
up to bed at 7pm

we have always done this and it seems to work so far

shatteredmumsrus · 03/09/2007 15:43

Oliveoil - we have always had a good bedtime routine like yours but the 7 bedtime just doesnt happen. My 7yo is a fantastic sleeper and we have to wake him and he goes to bed as good as gold around 8. No 2 are alike hey!!!Gonna persist tho,he is not gonna win

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread