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Sleep

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Original poster

Toddler wakes from nap crying inconsolably every day

41 replies

dragonmama2019 · 29/10/2019 06:26

He's almost 3 and has woken from daytime naps crying for as long as I can remember. And by crying I mean inconsolable. He doesn't want to be held, he doesn't want to be let go, he wants me to touch him, he doesn't want me to touch him, he bats me away, I can offer him all his favourite things and nothing will snap him out of it. The crying goes on and on and on until eventually he spontaneously stops.

He has always been a terrible sleeper. Ever since birth. But things are finally getting better now he's approaching 3. He always cries when he wakes, but I don't remember him ever reaching this level of inconsolable crying when he wakes from night sleeps or wakes in the morning. It's just naps. I've taken him to several sleep specialists who seem to brush it off when I mention it and are more focused on signs of apnoea and restless leg, but no one else I know has a kid who does this.

To make it stranger, he doesn't seem to do this at daycare. Maybe because he's around people from the second he opens his eyes...? But irrespective of who gets him from his room when he wakes, irrespective of how quickly we get there, or how long he slept, it's always the same. It's doing my head in because I know I'll have an epic battle on my hands the second he wakes up and I can't believe it's normal. Worried there's something more going on.

Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:

TokyoSushi · 29/10/2019 06:45

DS Did this, he'd literally cry in an inconsolable/tantrum way and you couldn't do anything to stop it for about 40 minutes after every single nap at home, it was awful!

No advice but he's 8 now, it did stop eventually (I think when the naps stopped to be honest) and there's no ill effects!

Unfortunately it might just be ones those phases and this too shall pass.

screamer1 · 29/10/2019 06:47

For us it was a sign to drop the nap. It would ruin the whole afternoon and didn't seem worth it

Original poster

dragonmama2019 · 29/10/2019 07:02

TokyoSushi I literally burst into tears reading your post. Not that I would wish this on anyone but I’ve been so worried for so long and never got any reassurance or heard this happening to anyone else. To hear your son is fine now is the best news I’ve heard for a long time. Thank you so much

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eggofmantumbi · 29/10/2019 07:03

Happened to us. Never really figured out why it what stopped it, but it was awful. I asked for advice and some people had had success with a quick snack/drink.

RolyHappyNorrieTagBetty · 29/10/2019 07:17

My son did this, he actually stopped at some point before he turned 2 but wanted to send sympathy as I found it really horrible and hard to deal with even for the relatively short time we had to deal with it. From the second he was born he never woke from any sleep without sobbing (and DC2 is now the same but still a baby so hoping it ends sooner). To still be facing it at 3 must be really difficult. No advice unfortunately but hope someone takes you seriously soon and you make some progress.

MargotLovedTom1 · 29/10/2019 07:24

Ours did it too, esp DD1 who is now a perfectly normal 15 year old. No lasting effects for anyone, and I'd completely forgotten about it until I read your thread title .

Original poster

dragonmama2019 · 29/10/2019 07:25

It’s so hard! My son’s lack of sleep obviously means I don’t sleep much so trying to stay calm when he’s screaming in my face for an extended period every day is really rough.

It’s interesting to hear it’s not just us. I have asked every mother know and none of them have this situation.

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nocluewhattodoo · 29/10/2019 07:29

DD was an awful sleeper, and also used to cry on waking from naps, now at 3 she doesn't cry inconsolably but is a bit groggy and emotional when she gets up from her nap. We usually cuddle on the sofa and watch something for 20 mins while she wakes herself up properly. I have to be careful not to set her off though, if anything is not to her liking (like our positioning on the sofa) she will sob.

Vagessence · 29/10/2019 07:33

On the odd occasion my 2yo wakes and I'm not there he'll cry like I've abandoned him for life. Does it happen when he wakes and you're right there?

TokyoSushi · 29/10/2019 07:38

Oh bless you, DS did it for a loooong time, but he's 8 now and totally fabulous. You'll be fine!

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 29/10/2019 07:38

I was telling my ds this only the other day ! He's nearly 6 now and I was telling him how he'd do this when he woke up from naps lol
We went abroad in July and had a really early start to get to the airport - 3am. At around 3pm at the hotel i suggested he have a nap ( first day time nap in years). I wish I hadn't suggested it- he woke up a couple of hours later so grumpy and angry lol . I guess day time sleeps are not for everyone. I'd drop the nap now if I were you OP

MayorPrentiss · 29/10/2019 07:44

Yes both my DSs did this, particularly DS2. Be dropped naps age 2 so luckily we haven't had it since then but he would be so upset and disorientated. He was the same if he woke in the early evening too and had only just grown out of that (age 4). It's upsetting but no lasting damage, I just tried to stay calm and offer lots of cuddles until he would take them. Good luck!

MsChatterbox · 29/10/2019 07:44

I go in to my son's room with a snack in hand. He wakes up hungry but too upset to realise it. I usually make this snack more of a treat snack that he wouldn't get any other time - like a packet of crisps.

TheSubtleArt · 29/10/2019 07:51

I had a DD who did this!

No tablets back then but we did have portable DVD players, I'd put a Dora DVD on about 10 minutes before she was due to wake up- then she'd lie and watch it for a bit and be a lot calmer. Didn't solve it completely and she'd wake from naps in the car or buggy screaming at times but it certainly helped when at home.

I figured she just hated the fact she'd been made to nap (was v v stubborn) and as soon as she woke up, she'd remember! She's a very 'normal' sleeper aged 12 and has been since about 4.

RoomR0613 · 29/10/2019 08:02

Yes my DC does this probably 7 out of 10 times when she wakes up from naps, she will be 3 in the new year. Usually the deeper/longer the nap the more hysterical she is after.

Never does it when she wakes up in the morning.

I'll be honest I haven't really worried/thought about it, it's just the way she is and I know she's otherwise happy.

I have sometimes wondered if it's something to do with 'fear of missing out' like she's cross that everything has carried on without her whilst she's been asleep.

I keep an emergency stash of chocolate buttons in the cupboard for the really bad ones and pop one on her tongue to try and distract her, sometimes works.

Original poster

dragonmama2019 · 29/10/2019 08:41

Vagessence That’s a good point. We used to bedshare (still do half the night) and he was so bad I even had to lie down with him for naps. Haven’t done that for a long time but I don’t remember him being like that when we were sleeping together. Poor little thing.

In terms of dropping naps, he’s never slept well at night so really needs to keep his nap for now. He’s usually awake by 5am, sometimes earlier. It’s always obvious when he needs to sleep because he become very, very difficult.

I’m going to try to get in there as soon as he wakes with a snack and see if that helps. Though he’s even turns down chocolate when he’s in that state. He’s hysterical.

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Duchessofealing · 29/10/2019 08:48

If it reassures you OP, I am in my 40s and apparently used to do this. I have no memory at all. Apparently my mum used to just cuddle me whilst I sobbed and eventually I would calm down. No lasting ill effects here

OrangeHue · 29/10/2019 08:53

I remember doing this at around 3/4 years old. Naps make me feel sick, so I think when I used to wake up I just hated the feeling and felt really moody/blood sugar maybe dropped.

I remember this one incident clearly where my mum just let me cry it out at the top of the stairs, and I went at it for a while. I do remember thing what the hell why am I feeling this way but didn’t feel I could stop it.

Perhaps drop the nap?

MargotLovedTom1 · 29/10/2019 08:57

I know it feels like you would be making life harder for yourself, but you may find, after a period of adjustment, he'd sleep better through the night if he dropped the nap?

Jodie626 · 29/10/2019 10:29

Have you tried letting him sleep on the floor in the living room so hes sees you immediately? Maybe he knows hes been alone and gets upset by it. Just a thought but worth a try.

SirSidneyRuffDiamond · 29/10/2019 14:50

My DS used to sob uncontrollably on waking from daytime naps - strangely never on waking up in the morning. I never knew why or worked out how to comfort him. He grew out of it and has no memory of what distressed him so much. My mum tells me my DB was just the same. No help, but much empathy.

Chipz · 29/10/2019 18:44

I would try dropping the nap. It happened a few times with my DS, uncontrollable crying when waking from a nap and that's when I started to drop them. It happens on when he had 3 naps. Then 2 nap and now occasionally on his only nap through out the day. It wasy sign that he was ready to drop the nap... Somethime when u nap during the day and wake up feeling worse, guess its the same for a little one too.. Maybe at nursery he is knackered out more so he doesn't mind that nap and wakes up feeling refreshed. Hope things get better!

madcatladyforever · 29/10/2019 18:49

My 18 year old cat does this. She wakes up totally confused and crying her lungs out. I have to carry her about until she comes to. It seems to be a cross species thing.

Original poster

dragonmama2019 · 29/10/2019 19:34

madcatladyforever Haha, gosh. Even cats!

OP posts:

Original poster

dragonmama2019 · 29/10/2019 19:36

Thanks, everyone. I feel very reassured. I really appreciate all your replies. I also feel rubbish on the rare occasion I actually sleep during the day so I guess it makes sense that he might too and it manifests as crying.

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