Toddler wakes from nap crying inconsolably every day

[dragonmama2019]

He's almost 3 and has woken from daytime naps crying for as long as I can remember. And by crying I mean inconsolable. He doesn't want to be held, he doesn't want to be let go, he wants me to touch him, he doesn't want me to touch him, he bats me away, I can offer him all his favourite things and nothing will snap him out of it. The crying goes on and on and on until eventually he spontaneously stops.

He has always been a terrible sleeper. Ever since birth. But things are finally getting better now he's approaching 3. He always cries when he wakes, but I don't remember him ever reaching this level of inconsolable crying when he wakes from night sleeps or wakes in the morning. It's just naps. I've taken him to several sleep specialists who seem to brush it off when I mention it and are more focused on signs of apnoea and restless leg, but no one else I know has a kid who does this.

To make it stranger, he doesn't seem to do this at daycare. Maybe because he's around people from the second he opens his eyes...? But irrespective of who gets him from his room when he wakes, irrespective of how quickly we get there, or how long he slept, it's always the same. It's doing my head in because I know I'll have an epic battle on my hands the second he wakes up and I can't believe it's normal. Worried there's something more going on.

Has anyone else experienced this?

My DS does this, the thing that fixes it is giving him some food. I think his blood sugar must be low but he will refuse to have anything. I offer chocolate or fruit juice and after having some he is like a different boy

Can you drop his day time nap? You said he doesn't sleep well at night so perhaps he goes into a veey deep sleep in the day and then wakes very suddenly when he is still tired which he finds distressing.

Yep my ds did this, by 3.5 years it had broken me and we finally got a diagnosis of glue ear, enlarged adenoids and sleep apnea. Poor child was in almost cosntant discomfort and constant exhaustion from sleep apnea.

Happened to me, but I dropped my DD’s naps right down, which made her sleep better at night and I didn’t have the awful tantrum when she woke up (as she wasn’t napping).

I think you might be better powering through - give it a try.

My DS did exactly this!! I have no idea why but it was SO annoying (caring parent) and he was SO loud! Nothing would snap him out of it, he’d just shriek for about ten minutes and then be totally fine. He’s 13 now and (mostly) completely lovely with no shrieking although he still moans about getting up for school ).

I would try dropping the nap and see how he manages getting through the day without one. He might be falling into a deep sleep and just feeling awful when woken up.

Failing that could he be cold? If I wake up from a nap cold I feel absolutely dreadful, achy and shivery. If he always tucked up warm?

Hmmm. Dd was like this she's 2.5, and I've only just realised she's stopped. Can I ask, when he naps is he in his bed or cot? And do you shut the baby gate on him? Dd was in her bed and every single time she woke in nap or night time she howled crying. Then one day I was busy downstairs sorting my other dc breakfast and she started so I picked up the monitor and spoke to her I said it's OK, mummy is here you can get up if you want and I will come and get you in a moment. She went quiet. Then she got up and I could hear her talking to her teddies! I went and got her and I told her when she wakes up its OK if she just gets up. Now, she gets up and comes to find me! In the night she just appears at the side of my bed and then let's me take her back to bed. Its certainly better than her screeching and waking the rest of the house up!

@dragonmama2019 Have just come across this thread as we are experiencing exactly the same - DS is 21 mo and absolutely furious/inconsolable when he wakes from afternoon naps. Even snack/milk doesn’t help and he’s a bit of a nightmare for a few hours tbh. I know this was a while ago but just wondering if/when it stopped or if you had any advice?! Hopefully you’re out the other side now!

Our 2.5 year old does this, the original post could have been written by us. It's bizarre as its only nap wakings, never when he wakes in the morning. It's good to know its normal though, and I imagine he will drop his nap soon so it won't be an issue for much longer but yeah nothing works to calm him other than waiting it out!

@Lmama hope you don’t mind me asking how things are going for you now with this? My 18mo has started doing this and it’s horrible. He’s always been a terrible sleeper and has always cried the second he wakes in the night, morning and for naps, but recently he’s completely inconsolable on waking from his nap. Screams and screams with tears streaming down his face, arching his back and the only way I can get him to stop is to put the tv on and give him a snack. It can’t be hunger related as he always has his lunch right before he naps!

@Lmama p.s he’s never needed a lot of sleep, but surely at 18 months he can’t be ready to drop his nap?! Hope things got better for you x

@MintGreenLife Sorry to hear it - so stressful isn’t it? (especially when you go to other people’s houses and their toddler just wakes up chatting in their cot/comes down all sleepy & squidgy!) I’ve gotta say, my DS is now 2y 2m and still wakes up crying but definitely better than he was. He doesn’t cry for so long and isn’t quite so distraught. Weirdly he doesn’t seem to do it at nursery or when he’s with grandparents etc, so it must just be something about immediately wanting the comfort of parents? I don’t know! Anyway, I couldn’t bring myself to drop the nap as he’s definitely still tired/needs it but god it’s going to be one less ball*che when the nap does go! Hang on in there.

@Lmama thanks so much for replying! Yes seems crazy how most wake up happy enough to just chill out for a bit. Mine is a complete state even if I’m in the room when he wakes up 😭 perhaps is just down to personality, mine is very stubborn and strong willed, but also quite a sensitive soul x

@MintGreenLife I totally feel you, and defo felt like something was wrong so it made me feel better even just knowing that other kids were doing it! Baby no 2 arriving any day now and I’m praying for one of those magical ‘wakes up chilled’ babies that I’ve heard of in myths! Hope everything settles for you & your little one.

My DS did that. The only thing that helped was a drink and CBeebies.

My son also does this. Also wakes in the night and nothing will comfort him, extended periods of screaming and hitting out etc if I try to pick him up or comfort him.