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Original poster

Wtf is going on, 8 week old still not sleep

62 replies

JamesonCask · 23/09/2019 00:38

Been trying since 8pm to get her to sleep and every time I put her down she wakes up. Im exhausted.

No to co-sleeping before anyone suggests it.

I tried googling sleep regression etc and can't find anything. It's been 3 days of bad sleep now, very short naps unless being walked in buggy

OP posts:
Basil90 · 23/09/2019 08:20

Completely agree you shouldn't give in and co sleep. Such a rod for your back if you don't want to continue with it and doesn't do anything to support your baby to learn good sleeping practices. I know it's so tiring but this phase will pass. Just keep doing what you're doing - routine, consistency, lots of calm love and cuddles and baby will get there.

Newmumma83 · 23/09/2019 08:20

Ah op it’s such a hard time .... I thought it was normal as my son slept the night he was born then it was always 30mins to 1 hour tops before screaming again to be picked up / food up until
3-4 months .. hopefully it is just a cold ... boots do a saline spray that you can use from any age to help ease the blocked nose / help them feed as my little guy was stuffy quite a few times early on.

If you breast feed ( I kinda dual red as limited supply ) but I found letting him feed for a couple of hours on the boob / dream feed until got all cosy in the bed ( our bed but I wouldn’t sleep ) then gently placing him in cot worked when he really wasn’t going to be anywhere but arms... we had a snuz pod too so he was easy to slide in / sometime I would half climb in to get him off to sleep 💤 but that was months of little to no sleep .

Husband would take him for 2 hours before his bed so I could sleep and 2 hours before he would go to work so I could sleep too .. / mum and dad would come and hold him
Some Afternoons especially if husband was working away and I was on my own for a whole night / couple
Days made all the difference to get a couple of hours in here and there

Good news it does get better ... this shall pass especially if your little one was a good sleeper to start with ❤️❤️

Newmumma83 · 23/09/2019 08:26

Our polar bear helped too! Soothing sounds and lights it still entertains him to this... that beautiful polar bear will sooth him to sleep or Sometimes entertain him for an extra 10
Mins.
my son does go to sleep well 9/10
Times / soothes self to sleep but we are going through colds / ear infection and teething at moment. So have regressed a bit :-
www.johnlewis.com/vtech-little-friendlies-starlight-sounds-polar-bear/p3334512?sku=237079207&s_kwcid=2dx92700047021114281&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9vK1_rTm5AIVhtDeCh2q1gCDEAQYAiABEgJQ_fD_BwE

MustardScreams · 23/09/2019 08:26

8 week olds can’t learn ‘good sleeping practices’ Hmm They can’t form habits, you’re my making a rod for your own back blah blah blah.

Baby barely knows she is not still inside you. Your scent, warmth and heartbeat all work together to calm her and remind her you’re close and that she is safe. This is why cosleeping works so well.

MustardScreams · 23/09/2019 08:27

*you’re not

firstimemamma · 23/09/2019 08:37

Your baby is only 8 weeks old, broken sleep is normal.

Original poster
JamesonCask · 23/09/2019 08:48

Its more than just habit, I tend to move around a lot in my sleep and have duvet tucked right up under my chin. My husband also twitches/jerks in his sleep and would be afraid her would end up hitting her - I say that as someone who has gotten hit by a flying arm!

OP posts:
Basil90 · 23/09/2019 09:03

@MustardScreams perhaps your baby didn't know he/ she was outside your womb by 8 weeks.. I'm pretty certain mine did and so much so that he responded really well to a sleep routine from just 9 weeks old. So please go and wave your staple mumsnet arched eyebrow at someone else.

OP, I did actually co sleep for a short while with my DS and found it to be so restrictive. I'd never intended to co sleep, I'd just given in through sheer tiredness as I think many often do. Sleep as a whole, for us and DS generally felt quite chaotic until I decided to try to establish a routine somewhere between 8-9 weeks. It took me a few nights to be able to wean him out of my bed but I now have a three month old baby who is in a calm routine of a bath (we read him a story whilst he splashes), a bottle in a dimmed room, a few minutes of cuddling and then bed. We watch him visibly relax as we go through the motions. He's usually asleep by 8pm (if not before) meaning that we have a couple of hours to ourselves before we also go to bed. He sleeps for 6 hours and wakes for a bottle before going straight back down. He then has a shorter feed at somewhere just before 5. Again he goes straight back down. It took a lot of work and perseverance at the beginning but had been so worth it for him and for us.

Don't let the mumsnet brigade tell you it can't be done OP.

MustardScreams · 23/09/2019 09:07

I guess I just wanted to work around my baby’s needs rather than what I wanted at the time. Worked for us. I don’t see why tiny babies need to be stuck on their own? Most adults share a bed so have the warmth and comfort of someone next to them. But newborns are expected to sleep on their own in case god forbid! They may need comforting for a while to help them sleep.

SimpleAndPlanned · 23/09/2019 09:18

I've co-slept off and on with mine. Mainly off but sometimes needs just and they need a cuddle when they are poorly. Still go back in their own bed after. Have you got a crib attached to the bed so you can cuddle from the side then move away when she's asleep?

BertrandRussell · 23/09/2019 09:21

@Basil90 - that’s fantastic. But please don’t be too disappointed if it doesn’t last. Obviously it might- and I do hope it does. But keep in the back of your mind that it might not, so it’s not a horrible shock if it doesn’t.

LiveInAHidingPlace · 23/09/2019 09:44

"I tend to move around a lot in my sleep and have duvet tucked right up under my chin. My husband also twitches/jerks in his sleep and would be afraid her would end up hitting her - I say that as someone who has gotten hit by a flying arm!"

That's why the attachment is so handy. They're next to you but totally safe, no chance of being smothered or hit.

Dunno, it's worth a try imo. Your baby is not going to learn bad habits at such a young age and you know what? Even if they do, habits can be broken easily in young children too. A huge percentage of the world cosleep and it's not like the whole world is full of babies who have terrible sleep habits. If it was that bad, everyone else would knock it on the head too.

LiveInAHidingPlace · 23/09/2019 09:46

"Don't let the mumsnet brigade tell you it can't be done OP."

It's hardly a brigade so much as actual scientific fact. Babies that young don't have the capacity to form habits.

RhymesWithOrange · 23/09/2019 09:56

OP doesn't want to co sleep. Why is that so hard for some people to understand? It's like the co sleep advocates are trying to make a sleep deprived new mother feel even worse!

OP I hope your situation improves. Hopefully it is just a blip with your baby having a cold.

madcatladyforever · 23/09/2019 10:01

I cannot believe co sleeping is a thing. It must be so easy to roll over and crush a baby.

LiveInAHidingPlace · 23/09/2019 10:08

rhymes so what's your solution?

I'm not an advocate of anything, I'm an advocate of whatever works and if this is the thing she hasn't tried because she's worried about SIDS or habit forming, why wouldn't people try to explain that those things are not a worry?

"It must be so easy to roll over and crush a baby."

And yet, throughout history, and all over the world, people have survived.

burritofan · 23/09/2019 10:23

I cannot believe co sleeping is a thing. It must be so easy to roll over and crush a baby.
Nah, though. Won't deny I was terrified the first time – she was so small! And new! – but I literally don't move. She shuffles away from me when she needs room, I stir when she stirs. I physically can't roll over in the C-shape position, can't be done.

BertrandRussell · 23/09/2019 10:25

“I cannot believe co sleeping is a thing. It must be so easy to roll over and crush a baby.”
Considering how many people co sleep, you’d think we might have heard of this happening?

I do advocate co sleeping. It’s absolutely fine if people don’t want to do it, but there is a lot of misinformation about which stops people trying. And for many families it’s a positive thing that gets everyone more sleep. So I don’t see a problem with correcting the misunderstandings so people can make properly informed decisions.

RhymesWithOrange · 23/09/2019 12:37

I don't have a solution. But I'm sensitive enough not to keep telling a new mother that the only thing that will work is the one this she expressly and repeatedly said she doesn't want to do.

LiveInAHidingPlace · 23/09/2019 13:46

"I don't have a solution. But I'm sensitive enough not to keep telling a new mother that the only thing that will work is the one this she expressly and repeatedly said she doesn't want to do."

So you're sensitive but essentially useless when it comes to the OP's problem? Is that honestly better?

No one said it was the only solution. But it's certainly the easiest. I've also had things that I've said I will absolutely never ever do, but having researched online or had people explain their reasons for doing it, realised that actually they're not so bad after all.

If the OP comes on and says "I'm not trying it, so please stop saying it" that's one thing. But there's a reason for why everyone is suggesting it and that's because nine times out of ten it works.

Original poster
JamesonCask · 23/09/2019 14:15

Thanks everyone but as per my original post I am not willing to co sleep.

OP posts:
edgeofheaven · 23/09/2019 14:22

OP - as mentioned there’s a developmental leap at 8 weeks which can affect sleep.

If you don’t want to or can’t cosleep, then you just have to ride it out until baby outgrows it or is old enough for some sleep training.

My oldest was (is) a shit sleeper and people who haven’t experienced it can’t always relate to how rough it is. But sad to say the only solution is time. Baby won’t be 8 weeks forever.

Celebelly · 23/09/2019 15:07

I now have a three month old baby

Oh you sweet summer child. I love people on threads giving sleep advice when their baby is still in newborn sleep patterns Grin

Celebelly · 23/09/2019 15:12

Anyway, sleep goes through a change at around four months (the dreaded regression, although it is actually a progression, in terms of sleep development). Newborn sleep is different to 'normal' sleep, so having a good sleeper now or a bad sleeper now doesn't really tell you much, no matter how many routines you implement

My DD was sleeping through at eight weeks, absolutely nothing we did. She then stopped doing so at around four months and at seven months is now back to sleeping mostly through again. Next week it could change again. Welcome to baby sleep, where nothing is linear!

We didn't have a bedtime for DD at 8 weeks, she came upstairs with us when we went to bed (and that avoids a lot of stress about missing bedtimes). Gradually she started to fall asleep earlier so we did start putting her down earlier, first at 9, then 8, and now she goes down at 6.30 and that's her. But it was very much baby led at that age.

RhymesWithOrange · 23/09/2019 16:22

Yes @LiveInAHidingPlace I'm essentially useless Hmm Don't know why you feel the need to attack me like that. I was trying to create some space for OP.

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