5 month old baby - night weaning?

[Cullen2017]

Hello!

I am desperate for some advice on my DD’s sleep, that has gotten awful in the past two months. She is currently 5 months old and although previously could sleep 6.30pm to 6am (these timings suit us as a family) only waking twice, she now sleeps 7-11-1-3-5-7 and it’s slowly killing me.

I think our problems began when she hit a regression and in order to make her happy at night, we started feeding her at every wake up as it was the only thing to calm her. She is now too used to this milk. We are reducing her night time milk, e.g. she only now is on 2oz at 11 and 3 (compared to having 6oz previously). I BF her the rest of the day and night.

She sleeps in her cot and is happy in there. She goes down for naps happily from wide awake during the day, sometimes they are only 45 mins but often 90 mins too. I just pop her in her cot and switch lights off etc (no feeding). So I think she does know how to self soothe and she has been able to do this for about 8 weeks now, so I am not sure why she isn’t linking her sleep cycles at night?

Please can anyone offer some advice on how they weaned their baby slowly off milk at night, we only want to do cry it out/controlled crying as a last resort when she is a bit older. Or if anyone has any ideas on what we could do it would be hugely appreciated. She is only 14lb so I am also conscious that she may actually really need this milk (but I doubt she needs as much as she does at night!!)

Thank you!

Hi @Cullen2017,

We're just bumping this thread for you - hopefully some MNers will be along soon with some advice and support.

Hang on in there!

@Cullen2017 hi. No advice, but I am in the same situation. 5 month old is waking up so much, and drinking 2 bottles per night. (She used to be combination fed, and now fully FF due to her refusing the breast. So now I need to get up and make bottles 🙈).

I have always let her feed or cuddled to sleep... but I’m the same as you and don’t want her to cry.

It’s tough!

Personally, I would keep offering the milk. If she's drinking it, she wants it. If you think it's a comfort thing, does she have a dummy? It might be she just wants something for comfort to help her back to sleep.

At this age, they are teething etc and I remember my two both being up more in the night with that.

It's an age thing, you got extremely lucky in the beginning!

Those are such classic times for wale ups. With both of mine we moved to water and cuddle / patting in the cot, and they have up wanting it and went to sleep. Quite quickly they stopped some of the wake ups. I think with my second it only took 3-4 nights.

You can't night wean a five month old, it's way too young. Anything younger than six months just isn't right, but it's perfectly possible your baby may be genuinely hungry up to a year, esp if they're small.

Are you still on mat leave? Can her father take her for a couple of hours in the morning so you get an unrestricted stretch?

My nine month old is still on a similar schedule, I do know how hard it is. In our case the terrible sleep had a medical cause (various allergies and reflux) they meant she was up every 45 minutes but what you're describing at her age is normal and will pass.

The best you can do is follow the usual sleep advice- get a 'lovey' to try and form an attachment, follow a routine, same at naptimes as night, stick to similar timings and trust it's a phase and will be over soon. You just have to find ways to cope till it is.

If you think she's in the habit of feeding more at night because of being distracted in the day it's worth offering more daytime feeds, but we're onlu considering night weaning now and I wouldn't have done it before 9 months/20 lbs and established on solids. Many times when she upped nighttime feeds it was when she was about to come down with a cold/start a growth spurt etc.

These sound like totally normal wake ups! Unfortunately you just need to learn to function on less sleep! I'm shattered too and DS wakes more than this as he is teething - it's crap but it won't last forever - try to grab some naps

Can you go to bed at 7 to capitalise on that lovely 4-hour block of sleep?

We used to do a dream feed about 10pm - so get them out of cot to feed and then put back down to sleep.
Have you tried hungry baby milk? Probably genuinely hungry. Also might be ready to wean - so you may find if you're waiting for the 6 month go ahead then things may improve once they're eating solids.
Try cutting back on daytime naps. Might not be tired if they are getting enough rest during the day.

A five month old baby still needs milk during the night. It's far too early for weaning

I’m afraid your baby gave you a bit of a false sense of security with her 2 feeds between 6 - 6.30. What she’s doing now sounds pretty normal to me, like you say she probably does just need the milk so not much you can do unless you can increase her feeds in the day somehow. It should improve over the next few months though, hang in there. Also, I never weaned my DC off milk at night and tbh haven’t heard of anyone doing this - they just eventually stop needing it - usually I think around 8 or 9 months.

Agree that babies still need their milk but could you offer a dream feed around 10/11pm?

It is a regression and it will pass when they're ready to drop the ounces.

Same (but without the good sleep in the early months), and to cope we started cosleeping around 5 months. Only way i could get any real sleep. Not everyone's preferred solution but it works for us, she
can feed without either of us fully waking (EBF). She's now 8 months; will go down in her own cot, usually wakes every 1-2 hours. Resettle her to start with, and she ends up in the bed when I'm too tired for that, usually 1-2am. Occasionally she'll make it till about 4 and ironically I sleep worse as I wake myself up in a flap worrying why she's not making her usual regular cries 🙄

Ffs.
The only problem here is your attitude.
Don't have a baby and expect them to sleep through, they aren't puppets trained to fit into our routines!

!

I exclusively breastfed my dd until she was 18.5 months old and she barely slept from 4 to 16 months.

It was tough but it's such a relatively short amount of time compared to my entire life time, I decided I could just suck it up and do what she seemed to need me to.

Remember, the benefits breastfeeding are numerous, it's not always just about being hungry for a full tummy (think nutrition, comfort, etc).

It is hard. I know. My child slept a lot less than that. He is now better.
I would not even begin to think about weaning at that age. They’re way too young.
But of course you are bloody shattered
Can you enlist extra support?
Can you get help during the day so you can nap?
Do you have a partner? Can he bottle feed (either formula or some expressed milk?) Do you have a spare room and could you sleep there and leave your partner to it occasionally?
Much sympathy and hoping things ease for you. It’s tough. My boy only fed to sleep and people said ‘that’s a bad idea, he’ll never learn to fall asleep alone’ but he did. When he was READY.
I really believe that babies need at least 9 months out of the womb where they are just given everything unadulterated- with no concern for what they could get used to etc. Endless cuddles. Feeds etc

Thank you everyone for such useful advice and support, it’s just hard and exhausting but we are getting there! It’s really helpful to know lots are or have been in the same boat and that they’ll all get there in their own time :)

PatricksRum, there is absolutely no need to be patronising and unkind. I obviously don’t expect my daughter to sleep through at 5 months, I am just looking for support on how to move forward to slowly obtain better sleep for myself and my family. Why bother commentating if you have nothing constructive to say.

Thanks everyone else!

But you are expecting to wean her so you can sleep better?
It's not about being unkind. We need to look at baby's sleep differently.

@PatricksRum I'm pretty sure every poster has agreed that 5 months is too early for weaning but everybody else has managed to do that without accusing OP of having an "attitude problem" There's nothing wrong with wishing you had a bit more sleep and no amount of memes is going to change that.

OP It does sound like a hangover from the 4-month sleep regression and it will pass. If it's any consolation, even my really tricky eldest (who guzzled milk all night long at that age) was sleeping through at around a year old (and by 7-8 months she'd only wake once or twice). In the meantime it's a matter of early bedtimes (for you) and breaks from the baby if possible, eg someone taking them out so you can sneak in a catch-up nap.

One of my 3 dc needed milk at night till 13 months. Rather than giving a tiny amount to wean her off then having her wake up again a couple hours later hungry I just let her have her fill of a huge bottle the first time she woke ( usually 12-1) and she usually slept longer after that, I'd try this. At 13 months she just stopped wanting milk at night at all.

@Limpshade
There is a problem eith her attitude.
Our attitudes shouldn't be expecting a baby to fit in with our schedules neither should they be expecting them to sleep through.

@Cullen2017 we are experiencing the same thing. It’s getting worse each week, which I didn’t think was possible.
My daughter now wakes at 11 or 12 (the norm) but cannot settle or be settled back to sleep, she sleeps for 5 mins then in up crying. Things goes on for up to 5 hours.
I’m at my breaking point as this has gone on for two months 😭 3 and 4 hours sleep is a killer and beginning to affect my relationship as we are both frazzled! Thinking about sleep training as I have no idea what else to do and can’t take another month of it!
Did you decide what you might try? Or ride it out x

Hi everyone, thanks for more advice!

We are starting this week to see a return to normal! She is now starting to only wake up twice again (at 11 and 3) and I am feeling like a normal person again!

Nicting, I actually followed some advice from a friend that is the same as @Bubbletrouble43 advice! Started doing a large 7oz feed at 11pm and then another 5oz or so at 3 or 4am and so far so good! I used to breast feed at all but one feed at night, so I feel a bit sad that I’m no longer doing it but I know for us it’s the right decision. Our daughter would BF then wake up 45 mins or an hour later for more, at least I know now how much she is getting and I know she is taking more as she would often get sleepy on the breast.

I also worked at spacing my day feeds out more (still BF for these), as I was previously feeding her little and often to try and keep her full so she would be less hungry at night. She’s now back to only feeding every 3/4 hours in the day.

Who knows how long this will last but really hope you’re okay. We also had it for 2 months and it’s just exhausting. Let me know if you have any more questions at all xx

Excellent news op, glad to hear it's better. It can be gruelling xxx