5 month old baby - night weaning?

[Cullen2017]

Hello!

I am desperate for some advice on my DD’s sleep, that has gotten awful in the past two months. She is currently 5 months old and although previously could sleep 6.30pm to 6am (these timings suit us as a family) only waking twice, she now sleeps 7-11-1-3-5-7 and it’s slowly killing me.

I think our problems began when she hit a regression and in order to make her happy at night, we started feeding her at every wake up as it was the only thing to calm her. She is now too used to this milk. We are reducing her night time milk, e.g. she only now is on 2oz at 11 and 3 (compared to having 6oz previously). I BF her the rest of the day and night.

She sleeps in her cot and is happy in there. She goes down for naps happily from wide awake during the day, sometimes they are only 45 mins but often 90 mins too. I just pop her in her cot and switch lights off etc (no feeding). So I think she does know how to self soothe and she has been able to do this for about 8 weeks now, so I am not sure why she isn’t linking her sleep cycles at night?

Please can anyone offer some advice on how they weaned their baby slowly off milk at night, we only want to do cry it out/controlled crying as a last resort when she is a bit older. Or if anyone has any ideas on what we could do it would be hugely appreciated. She is only 14lb so I am also conscious that she may actually really need this milk (but I doubt she needs as much as she does at night!!)

Thank you!

This sounds exactly like me, and I’m slowly losing the will to live :(

Baby is 5 months old and used to sleep well with 8/9/10 hour stretches, usually with one feed overnight. Then the four month sleep regression hit (just before 4 months) which was shocking with multiple wake ups, and like you I used to feed at every wake up. I breastfeed most of the time with one bottle during the day.

Her sleep had got slightly better for a week or so, 1-2 wake ups, but now we’re back to 4-5 wake ups regularly, which usually start around 10pm. Then sometimes wakes up every two hours or less. She does still do the odd better night which give me hope. She settles herself to sleep and is usually great at napping in the day, can do naps 1.5 hours + I drive myself mad trying to figure our what to do and I think it’s now starting to take a toll on my mental health and make me doubt my parenting.

Any more tips? I also tend to feed more regularly during the day to try and fill her up so it’s interesting what you’ve said about going 3-4 hours now. How much day sleep is your baby getting and do you think it is a significant impact?

Thanks x

@Cullen2017 good that you’re feeling more positive about sleep pattern.
My DD is still waking for 2 bottles (she feeds to sleep). Health visiter has said that she shouldn’t need night feeds, and to offer water 🙈 I really don’t feel right about doing that though. So, reassures me that you are also giving night feeds.
Last night was the first night that I didn’t attempt breastfeeding ( baby hasn’t been latching on but I kept trying!) so also feel very sad about it too.

Hope you feel better after more rest 🤗

Wow that’s amazing news!!! You should have a party!! Thanks so much for responding @Cullen2017 it’s given me some hope. Hope your sleep continues!!!!! xx

Sorry to have taken so long to respond, things are definitely improving over here but of course we still have some horror nights! I have also just bought the Lucy Wolfe sleep solution book and fingers crossed it will have some answers!

@Cloudy14 she is having (usually) 1h30m in morning, 1h30 min at lunch and then 45 minutes at the end of the day (she tends to fight this one though!). It’s hard to tell if it’s spacing out the feeds that has worked, or the fact that she is no longer BF at night and having formula instead (as we know how much she is having and she tends to eat quicker).

I’ll let you know how I get on with the book. There is a lot in there about how to effectively night wean (if baby is ready for it).

You’re doing an amazing job, I feel the exact same and I swear I spend half my days googling solutions to any minor issues! We will get through this! X

Thanks that sounds quite similar to my baby with 1.5 hours morning and lunchtime, plus a later shorter nap though we tend to get less than 30mins for this one. I can never tell if that’s too much or too little sleep! Naps are usually within two hours of each other, as much as I try I can’t seem to get her to last much longer awake without properly whinging and then fighting the nap.

Out of interest how long do you typically leave between the end of the last nap and bedtime/asleep?

She has now started properly screaming at night, and even putting her down to sleep has become a challenge over the last three days which is a new issue!

Thanks for the encouragement though!

2 hours is apparently the absolute maximum that babies of this age should be awake. My friend (baby of the same age) recently hired a sleep consultant who advised that nap gaps should only be 1hour 45minutes, as the baby is not sleeping through the night and so needs more rest. I have started bringing it closer to 1 hour 45 minutes (sometimes she really resists this!).

This is where I struggle, I have read in places that it should be 2 hours and some say 3 hours! Usually its about 3 hours and she is sooo ready for sleep by then as she gets super grumpy. But if I put her down at 2 hours she would be fast asleep for the night at 5/5.30!! What do you do?

Oh dear :( really feel for you, its so hard and I just worry so much about everything that I found/find it so difficult!!

If you're interested, I am finding the book I mentioned earlier (by Lucy Wolfe) really helpful. Rather than letting babies cry it out, it is all about staying and supporting your baby. There is a lot of information about night weaning and she recommends doing it over 3 days, cutting milk down by a third each night. We started a couple of nights ago and my daughter has gone from having 2 7oz feeds at night to 2 4oz feeds at night (and is perfectly happy with that). Her appetite in the day has increased hugely too. We are hoping that once her milk appetite has decreased, she will wake less. Who knows though!!!