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Original poster

28 months old toddler still not sleeping through night

32 replies

Gayu · 23/06/2019 07:50

Hi All
I am a mother of 28 month old toddler who s not sleeping thru night ... since the day she was born I slept countable night.. it’s really frustrating... I hate my own baby n shout at her like mad... if I tell her soft n make her understand she s not listening awaking more often... even if she wakes I m fine but she cries a lot

I co sleep with her I m just next right to her ... we maintain good temperature at home... she got all her teeth ... she eat dinner an hour before going to bed.. she never slept alone she always wanted me beside her... I don’t even find time to relax myself... i m still crying becoz of sleep pattern... I was hoping it ll b fine when she turn 2 but still dying for sleep n my time ... I lost all my hope that she ll sleep fine...

Falling asleep is not problem for her... she takes around 20 mins n sleep but getting up 4 to 5 times crying...

Her schedule
Wake up 8 am
Bf 9 am
Snack 11 am
Lunch 1 pm
Nap 1:30 pm
Wake up 3 to 4 pm
Snack 5 pm
Dinner 8 pm
Bedtime 9 pm
Ll sleep around 9:30
Daily I m getting her for play date to make her tired... sometimes I think she ll b overtired that’s y dint sleep... some days she ll at home in evening even then she ll wake

I m writing this with lot of tears in my eyes... I know many people out there are not lucky to have baby... I got one but how long this sleepless night ... I don’t wish to get second baby becoz of seeing her sleep pattern

Plz help any suggestions appreciated... plz don’t give any harsh comments becoz I couldn’t take it... I m very weak now

OP posts:
newcupcake · 23/06/2019 07:55

I feel you pain , my ds took a long time to sleep though and sleep deprivation is a killer it affects every aspect of your life. My two thoughts are her bedtime is very late , I've always found over tired children sleep worse and secondly she probably needs her own bed ? If she needs you in the room and you're not ready for separate rooms then a little toddler bed next to yours ? It could be you're inadvertently waking her up in your sleep.

NotSoThinLizzy · 23/06/2019 07:55

My wee one still dosent sleep through the night. You're not alone.Someone will be along with some advice.

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 23/06/2019 07:58

Apparently it developmentally normal for a child to not need you during the night at 7. My DD’s sleep improved at that age when we dropped the nap but it was the right time for us for drop it.

Original poster
Gayu · 23/06/2019 08:01

Skipping nap making it worse... she s cranky all through the evening from 4 to 7...

Thanks for the suggestion... I ll try toddler bed and see if that works

OP posts:
hormonesorDHbeingadick · 23/06/2019 08:03

If you skip nap time then you need to bring bed time earlier by the same amount of time as nap time plus 30 mins.

Ohhgreat · 23/06/2019 08:12

More sympathy here - if you want a book that will make you feel better have a look at Sleep Is For The Weak.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/06/2019 08:13

I do fully appreciate some kids are just bad sleepers but what strikes me is bedtime is very late- I’m assuming this may be drawn from the co sleeping aspect.
It does seem a lot of posts with poor sleepers say “baby doesn’t want to sleep alone” or “baby won’t sleep earlier”...quite honestly we are their parents and should be teaching them. It’s hard at first but cut off the co sleeping and be a bit stricter is my suggestion. Every time they wake up you don’t need to run to them, you will learn to distinguish when they need something and when they are just stirring and can settle themselves.

My LO is 23 months, currently
Awake at 6.30
Breakfast at 7
Milk at 9
Snack at 10
Lunch at 11.30/12 (the early time is what they follow at nursery)
1-2/3pm nap
Snack when wake up
5pm dinner
6pm bath
6.30pm milk
7pm/7.30pm bed

Good luck- lack of sleep is torture Flowers

Sengah · 23/06/2019 08:23

It isn't outside "normal", what your child is doing. I sympathise with your tiredness but pl don't shout at her she is only a baby. Sounds like you need some support - check out thebeyondsleeptrainingproject.com esp the group on Facebook.

Mummabear12345567889 · 23/06/2019 08:25

I agree with other people to bring back bedtime. Where you've wrote bf-9am is that breakfast not breastfeed? (I'm terrible with mumsnet anagrams!)

Why dont you try giving her breakfast earlier, like as soon as shes awake and doing lunch earlier. Put her down for a nap a little earlier, drop the 5pm snack and give dinner instead.

My little one is 23 months and still is yet to sleep through the night too! We manage this ok at the moment, he sleeps on his own until about 11/12 at night and eventually ends up in our bed. This works for us at the moment but every family is different and you need to make changes if you're finding this hard. Do you have a partner? Can you speak to your health visitor? The health visitor may know of an agency who can help (near us its sleep scotland).

GreenTulips · 23/06/2019 08:28

She’s going to bed quite late, which means you get no down time. However she appears to be getting enough sleep

She’ll need earlier bedtimes for nursery and school between 7 and 7:30 to give you a break

You need to shuffle things forward

SherlockSays · 23/06/2019 08:46

Why are they not having dinner until 8pm?

You need to get her up at 6.30am (regardless of her bedtime the night before) or similar and give her breakfast as soon as possible, dinner at 12 and tea at 4pm. Breastfeed before bedtime and then bath, book, bed.

I also have a non-sleeper (although she's only 11 months) but she is always in bed and asleep for 7.30 at the latest so at least I have time to myself and I go to bed around 8.30/9 ready for whatever the night throws at me.

DD is at nursery most days but routine is:
5-6am: awake & bottle
7.30am: breakfast
12pm: dinner
4pm: tea
6pm: bath & ready for bed
6.45pm: bottle
7-7.30pm: bed
She'll then be up once or twice but nothing too major - most nights it's once for a cuddle around 2am and then back to sleep.

SherlockSays · 23/06/2019 08:47

Forgot to add in naps Blush
She naps for an hour in the morning - about an hour and half after waking and 1.5-2hours around 1pm

Smurf123 · 23/06/2019 09:10

My son is almost 16 months and doesn't sleep through the night but we are slowly getting better (most nights) last night he slept from 8-530 which is amazing for him usually he is up at least twice. But we have found he cannot nap any later than 1pm otherwise he won't go to sleep around 730 then he gets overtired and is up alot more during the night.. He naps for about an hour or two sons 1030/11 and that seems to be helping.

Smurf123 · 23/06/2019 09:11

We have resorted to having the buggy in his bedroom and when he won't sleep or settle in cot we wheel him up and down in it until he goes to sleep

Original poster
Gayu · 23/06/2019 09:27

Appreciate ur suggestions for earlier bedtime... I don’t think so I could make even earlier than this... I do ve partner who returns from work around 6:30... so I need to cook after that... if I put her to sleep around 8 she wakes up multiple times until I settle in bed ... I ve to run back n forth from living room to bedroom... I can’t do cry it out becoz I don’t like it...

Bedtime depends on how kids do independently... she s so attached to me... i m a home maker ... she has not stared her nursery so all time with me...

I m not breastfeeding her... it’s her breakfast... she won’t eat breakfast until she do poop... so I ll give an hour...

She do extremely well outside... she s potty trained ... she can communicate well... I don’t know what pblm she faces at night ...

It’s only parents duty to make the schedule but even if I pull bedtime she s going to wake that’s more tiring for me that’s why we made our bedtime as hers...

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/06/2019 09:32

Tbh OP if you aren’t open to crying it out or moving the bedtime and the bedtime “suits you” then why post. I thoroughly sympathise with rubbish sleep but you seem closed off to changes. There is a reason most (i emphasis most) toddlers sleep at 7/8 pm and sleep through.

GreenTulips · 23/06/2019 09:33

Make his tea earlier and he can microwave it
Buy a slow cooker and he can help himself

Or he could cook and you do bed time

Think outside the box

Original poster
Gayu · 23/06/2019 09:36

I am saying that I ll not try early bedtime... I said I even tried putting her early around 7:30 and that doesn’t work becoz she wants me in her bed... as I said I posted here to get me out of frustration...

I think I am not lucky or I couldn’t know how to handle her better...

OP posts:
Original poster
Gayu · 23/06/2019 09:38

Might b I should try going to bed early as well... but it’s like nil activity for me n my hubby...

OP posts:
MaverickSnoopy · 23/06/2019 09:59

OP I have three children and have suffered many a tricky sleep dilemma. You NEED an earlier bedtime. She needs to wake earlier. If you don't want to do this then you need to accept the night wakings.

You are in a catch 22 situation. If say she won't sleep without you, that's because she hasn't learnt it. Once you teach her and have a sleep routine that's separate to yours she will start sleeping better.

Eating as a family is important too but maybe do that on the weekends. Cook earlier and DH can eat later. Bedtime by 7/7:30. You spend a week teaching her to sleep - the gentle retreat will probably be best for you. Once you have the earlier bedtime and she knows how to sleep without you then see how things are.

You don't want to drop nap because she gets grumpy and you're thinking of her. I agree you shouldn't drop the nap as it's likely not the issue. However, you need to think of how tired she must be with the constant night waking. Children's brain development comes from ample sleep. You need to prioritise her sleep and help to teach her.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/06/2019 10:09

Well said MaverickSnoopy

Mummabear12345567889 · 23/06/2019 10:21

How long ago did you try putting her to bed earlier? And how long did you stick to it?

TigerQuoll · 23/06/2019 12:44

2 problems, she needs an earlier bedtime and she needs to sleep in her bed, or at least fall asleep there until you go to bed.

Tackle one at a time. You could first tackle getting her to sleep in her own bed, and if she gets up lead her back to her bed and comfort minimally until she gets the message (supernanny style). You could still take her into your bed if she wakes when you're going to bed to minimise the number of times you have to get out of your warm bed to go to her room and comfort her when she wakes up. Then when she is used to that, bring the bed time back by a few minutes a day until you are doing bed time routine at about 6.30. Your husband could do it as soon as he gets home and that could be his special time with her. Means you have to cook two dinners but that's what many families do anyway (fussy kids or partner coming home late).

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 23/06/2019 13:22

We coslept until just under 2. We toddler proofed the room and put the mattress on the floor. We would put her down to sleep and then when he was asleep leave her.

By two we were waking each other up so DD and I moved into her big girl room and into a small double for a few weeks. Then we would cuddle her to sleep and leave her for the night. If she woke up then there was enough room for one of us to comfortable hop in with her.

Onemorecrisp · 23/06/2019 20:39

Bed at 730 put her in own room in toddler bed / cotbed. Stop breast feeding. She’s too reliant still.

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