Bed with bed safety rail for 5.5 month old?

[MummEE2]

I've been co sleeping with my now 5.5 month old DS since he was about 1.5 or 2 months old. Can't remember exactly! As he started to refuse sleeping in his Moses basket or cotbed. Tried everything-spray breast milk, put my t shirt down, white noise, swaddle, sleeping bag. You name it. Anyway in my bed he's been sleeping ok but I think it's time to get him in the cotbed! He has started rolling also and although I'm a very light sleeper him being in my bed still worries me.

I'm BF and gave also started weaning him at a nurses advice. And it's going ok so far. I BF him to sleep every time.

I know he won't sleep in his bed and the transfer is when he wakes up. So I'm thinking of changing his cotbed into a bed and putting a safety side up. That way I could lie next to him to feed him to sleep in his bed and then sneak out and not have to transfer him. I am holding some hope that it might actually work as me and my DH have been sleeping separately due to our baby being in our bed as he's a heavy sleeper. And it's not doing anything good to our relationship really..

I'm thinking doing it this way surely is better than continuing to co sleep?? Any thoughts/advice please??

No advice here but interested on people’s opinions as am in exactly same boat with baby same age x

No don’t do this, it’s not safe as your baby could end up wedged between the mattress and the safety rail.
I know it’s tough but you just have to perfect the method of getting them to sleep in your arms and transferring them to the cot. Let them fall asleep next to you and only move hen once they are incredibly asleep. Try to king or shushing as well.
This is a phase and it will pass. My 18mo still sleeps between me and DH some nights when he wakes. And it’s true they sleep better next to mum. But you have to try and be as safe as you can. Once my lo started rolling we co-slept far less as I too was worried about baby rolling out of bed etc. We’d fall asleep and then I’d transfer. Sometimes 10 times a night. It’s bloody exhausting but does improve. I have 3dc and they do all sleep eventually

That should have said “try rocking”

Personally I don’t think I’d have been comfortable with that. I’m not sure what sort of a safety side you’re thinking of but unless it stretches the whole side of the bed with no gaps there’s always a chance he could get stuck or clothing could get caught and the worst happen.
Even if a safety side did work, what happens in a few months when you may have a roller, crawler or a walker. They could get out of the bed and fall to the floor and then free to roam the room. And you'd be back to where you are now with a baby you can’t settle in a cot bed.
Sorry for me it just sounds too risky. I think you’re better persevering with putting him down. Would you consider a bottle as his last feed either expressed or formula so your partner could put him down if you haven’t tried that already? Maybe it’s just being close to you he wants.
Sympathies because I know how exhausting it can all be

At 5.5 months? No way.

Cot, cot bed, or continue co-sleeping.

I really don’t think this would be safe OP. I think there is a danger that the baby could get wedged between the mattress and the bed guard, as a PP said. I’m sure I read of a tragic case a few years back where that happened.

Your post has made me think of this tragedy trigger warning

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/12/14/bedside-cot-still-sale-death-seven-week-old-baby-coroner-told/amp/

Expensive but the sleepyhead may be worth a try

Sleepyhead is not advised for all night use. I’d be looking for a co sleeper cot. He’s probably too big for the cribs like Next to Me, but a normal cot with the side off, the mattress the same height as yours and the cot anchored to your bed might work, depending on the exact build of the cot and your bed.

@KMoKMo that article is very clear that the cot in question was second hand, used without instructions and not used properly. It was a tragic, avoidable accident that is in no way a reflection of the product when used properly.

Thank you for responses. Yes I think my DS just likes being close to me. He's been like that since the very first day he was born. Only sleeping in arms at first etc. Completely different to my DD who slept in Moses basket and then cot from day one with no issues at all. DS refuses bottles so can't bottle feed him. Tried numerous times, different teets but he's just not having it.

I really don't know what to do then. I've literally tried it all. Put him in cot when he's been asleep for a while doesn't make much of a difference. 2 nights I tried persevering with putting him in. I did not sleep!! He would either wake up on transfer when I put him in the cot or at the very best sleep in there for 20 mins, no longer. Although sleeping in cot is safest for him I was so sleep deprived I felt a danger to look after him during the day. So back in my bed he was and he only wakes up about 3 times a night when co sleeping.

I felt that my idea of side rail was my only hope. I thought a rail that goes all the way. And have video+sound monitor so I always have my eye on him.

I'm not prepared to buy sleepy head as it is expensive and my DS is a long and large baby so not sure how long it would last him. Also if it doesn't help it'll just be a waste of money again.

Feeling a bit desperate, what can I do to make sure he's safe and I get some sleep

This does not sound safe. Have you considered a floor bed for your little one? Or continuing to bed share safely for a little longer.

Of course I do not know the details of the advice you were given by a nurse but I just thought I’d let you know that breastfeeding is recommended until 2 years and beyond by the NHS and WHO.
I hope that you find a solution that works for your little one.

3 wake ups a night is actually very normal and good for that age of baby! Despite what people think it is normal for a baby to wake often at night and need help to go back to sleep, well into their 2nd year of life.

Snowoctopus what do you mean by floor bed?

I know 3 times a night is good. I'm very happy with that but That's only when we're co sleeping! If I try to put him in his cot he'll wake up every 20 mins. That's not normal or ok for me or him.

We’ve always had DD’s cot bed with the side off butter up against our bed. I’d lay her in the cot and feed her to sleep and then just roll away onto our bed and back downstairs. Or in the night roll away back to sleep. She had her own space and wasn’t actively in our bed until she was over a year old and would crawl next to me. We had a video monitor on until we went to bed, if she managed to roll across the cot and our bed near the edge we would just go and move her.

Butted not butter

Bonzo77 I'll look into bed side cot though a bit reluctant to spend more money. His cotbed is very nice and was very expensive so I'm gutted he doesn't like it 😞

To be honest, there is no way around it. Baby is going to cry when moved into a cot, but you just need to persevere.

At 5.5 it is not safe for him to be in a bed, even if the mattress is on the floor... simply put, he can get into any kind of mischief while you are asleep. The cot he may not like but it keeps him safe.

What I did at that age with my wee one is put her cot right tight up next to my bed and take off one side. So it essentially became a double bed (my bed was a single) and her "bed" had cot rails round 3 sides and then I lay across the other 4 side, if that makes sense.

I used to then have her in a sleeping bag/sack, drag her over to me when she stirred and feed her to sleep again and drag her back to her cot area again. Worked really well until she started to be able to roll/crawl.

When our youngest outgrew his cosleeper crib we put his cot up and had it right next to our bed so I could lay next to him and hold his hand/stroke him through the bars and he could see I was right there. Could that be an option?

@bonzo77 I wasn’t highlighting that article to suggest that particular product wasn’t safe. I’m well aware of what the issues were and I used a next2me for both of mine with no problems.
I highlighted it as a follow on from my previous post to show babies can move around much more than you’d perhaps think. It’s almost unbelievable that a 7 week old could get their head caught over the side but they did. So a safety side with gaps or of a height a baby may wedge their head on is probably not a good idea.

@MummEE2 if you've got a room for your little one a mattress on the floor is brilliant, and you can put duvets around it if they roll off which they really seldom do

How big is he? My DD was small- 6lb born- and wouldn't sleep in her cotbed without a sleepyhead / sleepyhead grand until she was about 18 months old- it was just too big a space for her and she obviously didn't feel comfortable enough. Cotbeds are massive. You will get use out of it when he's bigger but for now he obviously still needs to feel secure.

There's no way I'd put a 5 month old in a bed with a guard rail.

Just let him cry it out. It's hard. You will be upset and feel stressed and it's all rubbish but you just need to push through and do it.

Don't let him cry it out ffs. @TheInvestigator that's ridiculous advice he's 5 months old. He needs reassurance and cuddles not being left to scream alone

5.5 is still so young
I think you just have to keep trying because he will adapt eventually. My 3 year old was harder from co sleeping to own room trust me and if I could do it with her you definitely can with a baby of that age