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Sleep

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Original poster

cuddle or leave to settle themselves ta 5 weeks?????

51 replies

Quackers · 11/09/2004 20:39

Hi, I've had a great 5 weeks, baby has generally gone to sleep after evening feed and wakes at night for feeds and then goes back down again. As she;s getting older, I have to cuddle her to sleep before putting in her cot, she cries and is very unsettled until she gets her cuddles back to sleep. She just spits out a dummy so we'd be going up and down all the time if I stuck to that. Is it too early to do 'gentle' controlled crying???? I'm generally on Gina Ford, but don;t know if it;s a little early to leave her yet???? Any advice appreciated!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

hercules · 11/09/2004 20:40

CC isnt meant to be used until around 7 months...

hmb · 11/09/2004 20:43

I used CC with great sucess, but only when the babies were much older, I did it at about 9 months. At 5 weeks I would cuddle.

emkana · 11/09/2004 20:44

CUDDLE CUDDLE CUDDLE!!!!!!!!!!

emmatmg · 11/09/2004 20:45

Never done GF with any of mine, or CC for that matter but I would think it might be too early at 5 weeks.

FWIW DS3 would settle himself from about 8-9 weeks. It was nothing I did to encourage, he'd just fall asleep on the bed while I was bathing/dressing Ds1+2.

beansmum · 11/09/2004 20:46

5 weeks is so tiny, cuddle her!

emmatmg · 11/09/2004 20:46

I think I'm very lucky as have never had to even try CC.

jane313 · 11/09/2004 20:46

You could try that baby whisperer "pick up put down method". It worked for me (but not all the time). You basically comfort them, when they are calm put them in cot, if they cry again do it again. And so on. Its supposed to get faster (well it did on the tv show). I used it mainly in the day time and sometimes it was great and other times I gave up. There are some baby whisperer fans around so they may be able to help you more.

unicorn · 11/09/2004 20:48

Go with your guts!! she's just a little babe, I think it's part of the joy of having a newborn, that you get the opportunity to cuddle nonstop... (until the experts butt in and tell you that you're doing it all wrong.. Boooo!!!)
Makes me really sad to think of a little one being left to 'cry it out'.
Now a 6-7 months hence things will begin to be a bit different- then is the time to get a routine sorted.
enjoy your newbie!! (+ congrats to you and your duckling)

josephine27 · 11/09/2004 20:59

as a mum who didnt have a clue with DD, she constanltly got to sleep whilst cuddling, now at 16 months, she will not settle herself and will only go to sleep on spare bed, with me laying next to her. this is very hard(please dont judge me as i am the only one who looks after dd and have done everything and not had break in 16months)im sure if i had support, this would not have botherd me and i would have bonded much quicker with her, making me happy spend as much time cuddling her as possible. if you do have help, keep up the cuddles for a while longer, they are so precious at this age and it go's very quickly, but if you have little or no help, try to cut down the time spent cuddling at night, so she gets used to settling herself(one of my biggest mistakes was not doing this) and spend more time during day giving lots of kisses and cuddles when she's awake enough to realise the bond you're both developing.

sportyspice · 11/09/2004 21:06

I did Gina Ford with dd1 but not until she was 7 months and even then it was only because she was a horrendous sleeper and settler and i was up still feeding 8 times a night to get her back off to sleep as she'd never learnt how. I do think 5 weeks imo is too little but it's a personal choice as if you know she's been fed, cuddled, nappy done etc then her tears may well be just tiredness. I would be more inclined to leave her for a few minutes to see if she'd cry herself to sleep but i wouldn't embark on lengthy sessions of controlled crying at this age. I didn't do GF with dd2 and she simply found her own way.

MummyToSteven · 11/09/2004 21:10

agree with sporty spice - if she's not hungry/has a clean nappy and she appears to be tired, i would leave her for a few minutes, and then try and soothe her if she continues and doesn't just fall asleep. I would then probably go for the pick-up put down method, or reassuring her whilst in the cot- stroking tummy etc.

hmb · 11/09/2004 21:15

For that matter until they were 6 weeks old neithe of mine would sleep at all unless I was holding them, the minute I owuld put them down they would wake up. So I slept with them, then slept with them in the same room etc, gradually letting them be more 'independent', IYSWIM.

jampot · 11/09/2004 21:38

At 5 weeks I would cuddle

cab · 11/09/2004 21:39

Quackers I followed Gina Ford but must admit at 5 weeks I had dd in moses basket beside my bed and used to go to sleep holding her hand. Thinking back, she's lucky I didn't fall on her!
Once she was in the cot I would put on a music tape (and stroke her face for a while if she was a little unsettled), but cuddles in bed if really upset. You know your baby.
If you're worried you could try the advice my sister got from her health visitor - sounds disgusting - squirt some breast milk onto a toy as a 'special' comforter. (It worked).
Congratulations!

Original poster

Quackers · 11/09/2004 21:42

Thanks, so much! Have forgotten what I did for DD1 exactly, but just remember hours of rocking only for her to wake when put down. I haven't heard of the pick up put down method, maybe someone out there could help with that?????
I wasn't going to embark on the full CC as she is too young, but the endless runs up and down our 3 flights of stairs will wear us out! ( no I don;t live in a posh house, just a big hill!)For now, I think we'll have to just try and settle her as best we can and if we have to cuddle, so be it.
Josephine, I hope I would never judge another Mum on how they get their babes to sleep. It's very very tough and just getting to the next day sometimes is a big enough task. I hope you manage to get that well earned break at some point soon. xx

OP posts:

discoinferno · 11/09/2004 21:42

Please Please Please cuddle. She is only a mite and needs cuddles.

Original poster

Quackers · 11/09/2004 21:45

ok, ok!! We'll cuddle! I'll be back in a couple of months asking the same thing! Is it too soon for CC!! DH does love the cuddling to sleep thing, well so do I but just wanted to do the best thing and couldn;t remember what is right or what other babies do. I imagined babies everywhere going down in their cots beautifully while ours gazes out of her cot wanting settling!

OP posts:

discoinferno · 11/09/2004 21:47

Ah that is a lovely image - but it dosn't happen in this house.

moomina · 11/09/2004 21:49

I would say cuddle. She is still so weeny. There's plenty of time to get those old routines and cc going if you want to.

Pick up/put down method did work for a while with my ds, but I wasn't very consistent I didn't do it until he was 6 months though. Have a look at this site which has loads of good info on pu/pd. But IMHO 5 weeks is still really early for any kind of sleep training.

nicmum2boys · 11/09/2004 21:53

Agree cuddle cuddle cuddle............ however, should you want to be able to put her down and leave her to settle herself, it might be worth trying swaddling. Has to be quite tight, but gives baby the feeling they are still being cuddled. What I did with ds2 (and would have with ds1 had I known) was swaddle him, give him a short cuddle, and then put him down. Worked every time. Would definately not advise cc as I tried it with ds2 at around this age out of sheer desparation (I badly needed sleep) and he cried for an hour before I gave up and cuddled him to sleep feeling like a terrible terrible selfish mother.
I would also recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She has some really useful tips for getting babies to sleep without tears (yours and thiers!) HTH.

moomina · 11/09/2004 21:57

Oh, yes! Totally agree about swaddling. Can be really helpful - I think there's swaddling info on my link too.

earlygirl · 11/09/2004 21:59

cuddle

Twiglett · 11/09/2004 22:37

message withdrawn

Hulababy · 11/09/2004 22:40

I agree - cuddle. 5 weeks is so tiny; enjoy those cuddles for now

MammyShirl · 11/09/2004 22:41

cuddles cuddles and lots of cuddles, i only started letting my dd settle herself about 8 months. b4 that when she cried i was there to sooth her, it can only make them feel secure. dont listen to older people when they say rubbish like you will spoil them by picking them everytime they cry - you wont! little sleepy babies need their mammies to help them go to sleep

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