How does four month sleep regression end?

[Pandabandit]

Three almost four weeks in here and it's just getting worse, now waking hourly even while cosleeping . Just wondering really what happens next? Does it just suddenly improve? Or gradually? Or could sleep just stay like this?! Do I really have to teach baby how to self settle or if it just a question of time?! Please help

In my experience, it ends about a week before their first tooth is ready to erupt 😩😩😩

Mine just randomly improved. 9 months now and sleeps 10 hours pretty consistently.
She was waking every couple of hours at 4 months after having slept through 6 hour stretches at 2 months! It was a nightmare time but it did get better by 6 months. I didnt do anything specific to make it improve it just did.

Oh dear god

That was in response to the first post!

Sorry 😐

My youngest is a crap sleeper. I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what a regression felt like with my first two as they slept brilliantly from about 12 weeks onwards. Oh how smug I felt! Ds2 is 22 months and still wakes up for a midnight party some nights 😢

Personally, I think there are good sleepers and bad sleepers. The good sleepers get a funny few weeks for regressions, colds and teeth. Bad sleepers are just bad sleepers and it gets blamed on regressions, colds and teeth but realistically, they just struggle.

I have one of each, we've not done a huge amount different and 1 loves a kip like me, and the other is up all bloody night like her dad.

It totally depends on your child - some lucky people have improvements between the 4, 6 and 8-10 month regressions. We didn't unfortunately, but things did start to get slowly better from 11 months. I don't think self-settling is something you can teach. But there are things you can do to make things better - getting DS to accept comfort (and milk) from either parent and then splitting the night into shifts so we each got an uninterrupted few hours of sleep every night made a huge difference to my health and sanity.

Hi so my 3 nearly 4 month old was waking up every hour over the last month iv tried to stick to a routine I put her to bed at 9 she wakes up at 4 and then at 7 but the last 3 nights every time Iv put her down she will not sleep until about 12/1 she sleeps for 2 mins and then wakes up crying this goes on hours any advice

DD is 9 months tomorrow and she's never recovered from the 4 month regression.. I think we're now in the HELL of the 8 month regression and I'm not sure I'm ever going to sleep again, I have to go back to work 2 weeks today.

So in answer, although it did improve when the regression ended, her sleep is worse than before it.

Interesting about the first tooth, DD doesn't have any and showing no signs of one either.

It never improved for us, we just seemed to have subsequent regressions, teeth and then four molars in one month at about 1 year of age. It was awful!! When he was 14 months old we got a sleep consultant and did gentle sleep training and that sorted it out. We were doing a lot of things wrong though, so I'm not meaning to be a voice of gloom, for most people it seems to come right.

What were you told you were doing wrong @kiwiblue?

My eight month twins never came out of the four month regression. Still awake at least six times a night between them!

It definitely depends on the child.

DD1's sleep went haywire for around a month, the worst being a 10-day/night patch of waking hourly. I actually Googled "Can you die of sleep deprivation?" towards the end of that patch so I understand what you're going through.

DD2 went through three nights of waking every 2-3 hours, and that was it.

Hang in there

Helping DD to settle herself was key for us. It went on for 3 months before we did this. She was waking for her dummy - she would go to sleep fine on her own, with her dummy, but would wake every 45 mins - 1hr for it, all night long. We ended up getting one of those bunnies that the dummies attach to, and taught her how to use it. Problem solved!

Obviously, it depends exactly why your baby is waking and how you get him to sleep.

It really is up to you how you approach it - you can ride it out and hope it improves soon if it’s own accord, which it might. Or you can try and work on encouraging more independent sleep - ie not feeding / rocking / cuddling to sleep. But you don’t have to do this if you want to carry on feeding to sleep etc.

I have a none sleeper.
Well, she does now- 10/11 hours overnight and 2-2.5 for nap (at 24 months). I'm just about to cut naps down to 1 hour to see if I can get a consistent 11/12 hours overnight.
However until 19 months she'd never done more than 2 hours. I was utterly broken.
During the 4 month regression she woke every 30-45 mins. For 6.5 weeks. I couldn't even drive I was so broken.
So my experience is best ignored- except
Accept help. Nap during the day when baby does if you can.
If you do these 2 things it will help.
And in answer to your q- it took 6.5 weeks for things to improve. Around the same length of time for her little peers.

Also, the 4 month sleep regression usually isn’t a regression as such, like other regressions which occur during developmental leaps etc, and settle down once the ‘excitement’ is over - it is baby’s sleep cycles maturing. Rather than being in a more general newborn ‘sleepy’ state, they develop 45ish minute sleep cycles like we still have as adults. This doesn’t change.

Generally, most babies / humans will rouse a little at the end of each sleep cycle to check the environment etc, then go back to sleep. Often, if a baby isn’t where or how it was when it fell asleep (on the breast/ in arms/moving/with dummy) when they rouse at the end of the sleep cycle, they need it to go back to sleep again.

So generally, if you want baby to sleep on their own all night, they will need to go to sleep where and how you would like them to stay asleep.

Obviously, if you are happy to settle throughout the night that is fine too, just do what works for you. Some people find co-sleeping works well for them as they don’t have to get up and down all night to settle.

Well this is super depressing. Except @kiwiblue waves I've name changed but know you from the infertility threads ~ look at us all sleep deprived now eh. I really feel unsafe to function. How do people cope if it doesn't improve?)

Sorry for errors. Typing one handed whilst trying to eat a vegan magnum with a sleeping baby in my lap. Only place baby will reliably sleep sadly

Teach baby to self settle. A co-sleeping baby is not a good idea if you want them to settle and be good sleepers without disrupting you

But how on earth do you teach self settling?? Especially if absolutely at wits end with exhaustion. And can it definitely be taught?!! Or are some babies eventually able some aren't..

And yes what were you doing wrong kiwiblue?? X

You put them down awake from birth after fed cleaned burped. You might need to do that 10 times a night between feeds and upsets. After a few weeks they get the gist. There are people all over Mumsnet on various threads who have never expected their babies to self settle have always put them to sleep and wonder why they haven’t slept for 3 years and are needing to fork out for sleep consultants.

Reflux meant I couldn't set baby down for first 4.5 months 🤦‍♀️

You put them down awake from birth after fed cleaned burped

Yeah we did this from birth with DD1. Worked really well, she was a great sleeper. Until she was 16 weeks, and then she didn’t sleep through the night again until she was 3.5. Years. We tried everything.
People with decent sleepers think that people with rubbish sleepers just aren’t doing it right. Sometimes, that’s bollocks.

All 4 of mine had reflux and needed cot tilted and a lot of attention because of that but sleep was always a priority for baby and me

but sleep was always a priority for baby and me

And probably for those whose babies don’t sleep too.

When you read these threads thats exactly what I think for the majority. Some of the sleep routines are laughable. Babies toddlers kids are always going to have upsets which affect their sleep but people who are their wits end when 3 year olds don’t sleep and are being offered reward charts and chocolates. It’s just nonsense. Often the sleep issues have been continuous since birth and people wonder why. It’s quite simple really. I know people who are camped out on mattresses in kids rooms until they are 3 or 4 years old and spend a portion of their evening lying down with them and sneaking out of the room when they fall asleep. It’s ridiculous.

Teach baby to self settle or be prepared for the consequences