6mo starts her day at 4am

[MaverickSnoopy]

She's my 3rd, I know they often do this but she's been doing it since about 3mo and I'm exhausted and she's miserable in the mornings.

4am - wakes for milk (will stay asleep until 7am if in someone's arms or if put down will sleep until 5/530am before starting her day). Naps the same regardless of when she wakes.

9am - 10am nap

1230 - 200pm nap

430 - 500pm nap

7pm bedtime

Sometimes naps are longer/shorter but all adds up to about 3 hours of daytime sleep. We have tried keeping her up beyond 7pm but apart from when the clocks first changed she screams blue murder - even when trying to shift things along by 5 mins a day.

I really want her to sleep until 6/7am for two reasons.

1. she doesn't get the option of an earlier nap than 9am ish because between 7-9 I am manically running around getting her sisters dressed/washed/breakfasts sorted etc. If she starts her day at 4am she's in a total state by 9am and is really grumpy the rest of the day.

2. so I can sleep as am shattered

Think it's partly a routine thing and partly a self settling thing. She can self settle but rarely - used to do it consistently until about 3mo when all this started.

Any thoughts on how we can help her?

How dark is the room? DS has to sleep in absolute pitch black to stay asleep past 530 in the morning. I mean blackout blind secured around the window frame - no light through cracks AND blackouts around the cracks in the door. worth a try?

We've got a gro blackout blind up on the window and then blackout curtains too. It's REALLY dark in there. However you've just made me realise that we have one of those horrible pieces of glass over our bedroom door that let's light in. I'll get DH to cover it up tonight and give it a go. It's been going on for 3 months though and it was dark in the mornings back then, so I don't hold out much hope.

We've tried everything we can think of - heating, no heating, hat, no hat etc.

I don't think this is that unusual really. My third is my worst sleeper yet and she's 10 months. Is 4 am the only wake up she's doing all night? I don't think that's that bad (but my perception might be warped as my baby will have been awake at least3/4 times by 4am). I'm not sure what you can do about it really otherwise I'd be doing it myself. I'd love a full nights sleep but it's not forever. That's what I keep saying to myself anyway 😂

Is she waking up because she's hungry and then can't/ won't go back to sleep? Maybe try and give her a bottle before she wakes up and see if that helps shift the sleep and wake up? For example, one of the children use to always wake up around 4.30/5am for a feed, and she would often take 30minutes, sometimes an hour to go back to sleep. Unfortunately the oldest child was an early wake so by 5.30 am she was up and making noise, so sometime the baby did by go back to sleep. You could try and set an alarm , say 2.30 or 3am , give her a bottle and see how it goes?

What I was meant to add was that for a few weeks I would set an alarm and give her a bottle an hour or so before her time that she wake for a feed and that delayed her actual waking time.

14 months and still getting up 4am, had a few 6am flukes but mostly 4

Not sure how to fix it but am watching for advice on this thread!

Yes she sleeps from 7pm/7:30pm - 4am which is amazing but I often don't get into bed until 10/11pm by the time I've had a bath, power pumped and made bottles and lunches etc for the next day. So I don't often get the benefit.

I don't "think" she's hungry tbh. She has managed a fair few stretches before 3mo where she slept until 7am or later and then a handful of times since. When she wakes she has about 70ml of formula but that's it. I feel like she could manage without, she wakes up babbling but she won't settle back to sleep so I give her milk. More recently instead of then going straight back go sleep she lies in my arms just flapping her arms and trying to play. I will definitely have a think about doing a dream feed a bit earlier. I'm slightly terrified that she'll wake up and I'll reset her body clock to wake up at 2am or something lol.

She's just so miserable like this and every time she doesn't get enough sleep she gets awful sticky eye. I just want to help her! I've always somehow (dumb luck probably) been able to work the sleep issues out (in the past with my others) - it's just finding that one princess and the pea thing!

Eek, sounds tough OP!

Your routine looks really good. Just tweaking her morning nap a little might solve this. Her morning nap is a bit too long and too early at the moment so she is in the habit of waking early, knowing she can make up for lost sleep at her morning nap. Cut the morning nap to 40 mins absolute max! So 9.30-10.10. Wake her up after 40 mins.

It's gonna be tough for a couple of days but as you know routine is key and it'll only take a couple of days for her to adjust. She'll stop waking so early if she knows there is no hour long nap at 9am.

Also, if that doesn't totally solve it you could cut the late afternoon nap to 15 mins. But I'd try adjusting the morning one first, that could solve it.

My DD used to nap less in the day and no matter what time she went to bed would always wake at 5 am until she was around 7.

Oh good @hotterthanahotthing that gives me so much hope 😂

I hadn't thought about adjusting the morning nap. Yes I'll definitely give that a try. You get so bogged down in it all that it really takes some outside perspective to help you see what can be changed. Although she had a short morning nap on Thursday and then overcompensated by having a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. I need to keep waking her don't I.

Both of my other children it was always a case of sleep feeds sleep, even dd2 who was a hellish sleeper, slept better at night with more daytime sleep. Maybe DD3 just doesn't need more sleep, just better spaced sleep.

She didn't wake until 5am today. Bit of a fluke I think.

If she has a short morning nap and a long 2hrs afternoon nap, she might be be better dropping the late afternoon nap completely.

I like to look at the good bits and let those early morning memories fade,I am not a morning person.
She always went to bed easily and slept no matter how many or few naps she had.I never had to wake her for school ,she is 15 now and still get up early,not ,5am but you get the gist.She still woke up early at 7 but she was old enough to go downstairs had have cereals.

Mine used to do that from about 4 months until 7 months so we co slept part of the night.

My son was exavtly the same, NO MATTER WHAT. Black out blinds, well fed, exercised etc etc. He finally started to sleep in until 4.30am at a year old, then 5am or so (5.30am max) until he was about 4 years old. After he started school he would sleep in until 5.20am, and now at almost 6 he's finally sleeping in until 6am or so. The kid could run a marathon, climb a mountain, swimming the Olympics, have a feast before bed, and he will still sleep precisely until a certain time lol. Some kids are just that way.

Agree with @Nowthenforever2019, a 30-40 min morning nap (40 mins max, I'd go for 40 mins for a few days then cut to 30 mins), and a 2 hour lunch time nap, then maybe try without the evening nap at all. If an evening nap is needed just a quick power snooze to give some energy to get though dinner and bath.

I hope it resolves soon. I reckon just tweaking that morning one will have a huge difference, but stay strong though the first couple of days as they are likely to be hard!! It will get easier from day 4 onwards. Promise

I have tried cosleeping with her. It's really hit and miss. Has worked once or twice before but mostly it's the same as putting her down in her crib - eyes ping awake like there's some kind of emergency! Then she either tries but fails to get back to sleep or lies there flapping like a bird. Cute but much less so at 4am!

The 2 hour nap was literally her compensating for poor sleep earlier in the day. She doesn't normally do that. I don't think she'd manage without nap 3 at all. I get the concept that she needs to loose a bit of sleep at the start and end of the day though so will try that - she's been asleep since 930am and will wake her in 5 mins.

I will try anything and will definitely stick at it. I'm stubborn and consistent to say the least! I REALLY appreciate the advice.

I dropped the afternoon nap about that time. It works well. She's 9 months now and since about 6.5/7 months wakes at 7, nap 9 to 9.45/10, nap 1pm to 2.30/3 then bed at 7pm. She has dinner ar 5, then bath at 6.15, bottle at 6.30, story and cuddles at 6.45. I did concede all babies are different though obviously!

Agreed on moving morning nap on & cutting it to 30 mins & also dropping afternoon nap.

What do you do when she wakes at 4am? Is she chattering away or crying? If the former I would leave her for 20 minutes or so...

Yes she wakes babbling...she will chatter away for 45 mins at least and then get fussy but because I've left her she's harder to settle or won't settle at all. On the occasions that I don't settle her straight away she then stays awake for hours and is probably ready to go to sleep at 7am but I can't put her to sleep then because I need to look after her sisters so then she's up until at least 9am which is far from ideal. The fact that she's not asking for milk immediately on waking and then doesn't have much makes me think it's also a self settling issue.

Today she had a 40 min nap this morning at 930am and then a nap just over 2 hours at 130pm and then we skipped the last nap of the day as it would have been a bit too close to bedtime. Watch this space.

Oh god I would have to go to bed earlier if I was you. I only finish work at 8 but if I'm up the next morning I'm sorted and in bed for ten ha

@prequelle I do when opportunity arises but the things I do in the evenings like power pumping need doing (keeps my supply up as she doesn't feed well and gets expressed milk into her). I'm not up doing unnecessary stuff unfortunately. It's the soonest I can get to bed. It's all pretty relentless. I haven't even mentioned the 2yo and 7yo sporadic night wakings 😣.

Last night was better. She woke up at 6:10am having slept through! Not sure if I feel better or worse for it lol. Hoping it's not a fluke and will persist with the new routine. When she woke she half heartedly had about 70ml so I'm pretty confident that I was right that she wasn't waking for milk.

What time did you put her to bed last night? Well done, seems promising!

Started bedtime at 7pm and she was asleep by 7:40pm.

Well here we are again - 4:15am start today. Room is in total darkness so it's not that, although much less flapping around trying to get back to sleep.

Trying to work out the right sleep combination.

Saturday she did this...

5:40 - 6:30
9:35 - 10:15
1:15 - 1:40 / 2:00 - 3:50
7:40 - 6:10

We were out in the morning so nap was later than planned - had been aiming for 12:30 when she started eye rubbing but we were still out and she refuses to sleep unless at home. Then she ended up waking and needed settling back to sleep.

Yesterday she did this.....

9:30 - 10:10
1:00 - 2:10 / 2:25 - 3:20
5:20 - 5:45
7:25 - 4:15

Lunch was late hence the later lunchtime nap and again she woke up quite soon.

Today I'm going to try a 12:30 nap and see what happens. Just not sure what's best if she wakes before 2 hours? Either get her back to sleep or give her a nap at the end of the day?