Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Early wakings really effecting family!

85 replies

SnowWhite26 · 09/04/2019 06:16

Hi
So i no this is about the millionth post abput a 7 month old waking at 5 or 5.30. My issue is that its different everyday and its really effecting me which effecting my family. Basically he can go through without food but in a way if he wakes at 12 or 1 for a small feed he will prob sleep till 5.30,6 or 6.30.I ignore him or give him a small feed at this time but if he wakes up we take it in turns to get up.last night he went 7 till 5 with no wake ups but milk and leaving him wouldn't work and i eventually angryly gave in at 5.45. I think i get so cross coz i no he will be ready to bk to sleep by 7 or 730 so makes breakfast etc all over the place. My 3 year old used to wake early and eventually stopped so i no it does. I just get so cross. As i have quite a few friends who say all i do is give them.milk then they go back to sleep on them for a bit or they go back in there cot. Why does my baby not do this! Yesterday he slept till 6.30 with a little feed at 12 the night before he woke for a small feed at 11 but woke at 5.30 for the day. Its just so all over the place. I no he does ok with sleep but im so tired with my 3 year old as well. Is anyone else in this boat? Why do all my friends babies go bk to sleep at 5 or 5.30? I feel like my husband is going to send me to an asylum if i keep going on like this. I was so unreasonably angry this morning after all my calm effort to get him back to sleep.I no my husband is finding it hard with work and 2 kids and a crazy wife! Anyone else? Thankyou x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 09/04/2019 09:38

I didn't explain the angry thing well. My husband seems constantly tired exhausted and its really effecting him. He trys but when he is home for weekend or on holiday he finds it very hard i think so its like trying to drag him through day sometimes. I get angry coz if hes really tired he finds it difficult to function which us difficult for us all. I wana sort it out for all if us

OP posts:

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 09/04/2019 09:45

This thread is absolute bullshit.

Yes the OP is coming across foaming and angry but I think what has happened here is that if baby has previously slept say 7-7 and then starts waking 2hrs earlier that IS a shock to the system.

As for all the righteous mamas going on about OP being unreasonable expecting baby to sleep 12h at 7 months....well, she’s not. 7 months is time enough to be going 12 hours.

Factor in dealing with a 3yo who is likely being disturbed as well it’s a toxic brew.

@snowwhite26 you pretty much have a couple of choices here

Get a sleep trainer in. 7 months old means baby is probably just old enough for it to “work” and possibly prevent you going mad thru any future sleep regressions. Expect to pay £300 in London

Get a book, apply the technique religiously and stick to it. Gina Ford, no cry sleep solution, I think another author called Jay Cartwright is meant to be good but consistency is key.

Never underestimate the crippling effect of sleep deprivation but it’s utterly essential you find a way to cope. For me it was yoga every damned evening regardless of fatigue. Yoga with Adrienne is great, do it as soon as baby sleeps then bed 90mins later.

Finally at this time of year consider a blackout blind. The Gro Company do a decent one. Failing that tape black card over the windows. We did.

Darkstar4855 · 09/04/2019 10:19

Why is your husband tired?

My son is in the same room as us. He makes a bit of noise briefly when he wakes up, then I pick him up and take him downstairs and my partner goes back to sleep until it’s time for him to get up to work. Sometimes he doesn’t wake at all!

If your husband really can’t cope with a brief wake at 5am then the alternative is for him to go to bed a bit earlier.

Raspberry88 · 09/04/2019 11:04

If your husband really can’t cope with a brief wake at 5am then the alternative is for him to go to bed a bit earlier.

Yes, I think that isn't really a normal level of tired for waking at 5. Plenty of people wake that early for work so it's hardly unusual. DH and I are tired from the early starts and as DS is still disturbed in the night but we're functioning perfectly normally, just bloody happy to sit down in the evening. I know people have different levels but it might be worth checking that all is ok.

Kittykat93 · 09/04/2019 11:10

Sorry but you and your dh need to go to bed earlier at say 9pm and if he's getting angry at being woken at 5.30 well he needs to get a grip. What exactly was he expecting ??

L1989 · 09/04/2019 11:15

My youngest now wakes up around 5am every day...

I go to bed at 9 - 9:30..

I'm a bit confused with this post

NoParticularPattern · 09/04/2019 12:16

I’ll just leave this here: www.basisonline.org.uk/hcp-normal-sleep-and-sleeping-through/

Presumably @PaulHollywoodsSexGut has read only the part that says “70% began sleeping through the night at the age of 3 months” and not the part that then goes on to say “'Sleeping through the night' was defined as a 5 hour stretch from midnight to 5am, during which the parents were not woken by the baby's crying or fussing” and also ignored the part where these babies weren’t in the same room as their parents and they didn’t actually have any sort of monitor or listening device and therefore it was deemed highly likely that even if the children had woken up, that the parents wouldn’t have heard them anyway. 7 months is absolutely not “time enough” to be sleeping through the night, especially when you consider that “sleeping through the night” seems to now mean 7-7 which is not something lots of children achieve at all before they no longer require 12 hours sleep.

I’m sorry but 5am is not an antisocial time to get up nor is it unacceptable for children to wake up at that time, especially when they’ve been in bed since 7pm and you’ve had the opportunity for several hours uninterrupted sleep which many people would only ever dream of (provided we ever get chance to dream that is!). My husband wakes at 5am every day for work, has done for the last 16 years except for odd days he has had off (I can count 6 in the last 5 years). Go to bed earlier.

SherlockSays · 09/04/2019 12:18

My 8 month old gets up anytime between 4.30 & 6.30.. but she also wakes at 10 & 1ish.

I'd give anything for her to sleep 7-5! You need to adjust your day and go to bed earlier.

Wallsbangers · 09/04/2019 14:44

As PP have said it's fairly normal for babies to wake up early, it's how you cope with it that counts. The baby is getting a really good chunk of sleep.

If your husband can't cope with an uninterrupted night of sleep but an early start he either needs to go to bed early or go the drs to get his vitamin and iron levels checked.

StoryBookorTwo · 09/04/2019 15:06

On the plus side if your baby is doing well with sleep generally I would think it will be a small adjustment.

I think a change of mindset will really help you all. Early nights and early mornings are a very healthy and sustainable way of life, especially given your baby sounds like such a good sleeper. I used to be up at 5 for work anyway before mat leave and went to bed at 9 or 10, but mine was a terrible sleeper for a long time and up every 45 mins and the only thing that helped me was trying not to stress over it and just go with it. My DH slept in a separate room throughout for work although he is up early anyway too for work.

Can you get baby up without disturbing your toddler?

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 09/04/2019 19:39

Yeah they share a room but she seems a pretty deep sleeper if he wakes and chats in the night. We dont like to leave him chatting to long from 5 onwards as that could be her lighter sleep. I think as a few of you have said maybe i need to change my mind set. Its just so hard when having to deal with a half a sleep husband to! X

OP posts:

SoyDora · 09/04/2019 19:40

If your husband is so tired it’s affecting his mood then he needs to go to bed earlier.

StoryBookorTwo · 09/04/2019 20:05

I haven't got a three year old or second child yet so I can imagine it is really tiring! I admit I always secretly feel a bit jealous of people with babies that sleep for several consecutive hours - mine likes to make sure I'm awake to enjoy every single precious moment! 🙈

Everyone's individual situations are different so we're only hearing a bit of your's, but I hope things feel better soon

PotteringAlong · 09/04/2019 20:14

My 4 year old wakes up at 5.30 for the day most mornings.
My 2 year old definitely doesn’t sleep from 7pm - 5.30am.
My 7 year old developed into a decent sleeper at around 5.

You just have to get used to it; in my experience waking up at 5 becomes the norm and you just go to bed earlier!

ememem84 · 09/04/2019 22:00

I’m in bed now.

Ds has screamed his head off for the last hour or so. He’s exhausted but doesn’t want to sleep. He’ll be up at 530. It’s dhs turn tomorrow though...

ZsaZsaMc · 09/04/2019 22:13

7 months is still really young! My baby was still waking up twice a night and getting up early (DH would deal in the AM so i’d get another hour in bed). Also DS would need a nap and hour and a half after getting up so would then sometimes come back to bed with me.

It DOES get better so just enjoy the uninterrupted sleep you do have and have v quiet mornings to ease into the day

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 10/04/2019 05:02

I get what you are all saying. I guess its the inconsistency as well. Hes done really well and sleot 7 till 4.30. He woke up chatting chatting geta louder just have him 6oz bottle and he took 5. Hes now still chatting to himself. But if he doesn't go bk to sleep which seems very possible then he hasnt had enough sleep. 4 30 is night. Why is he awake? Do u think even though chatting gets louder milk doesn't settle him it wakes him more? Its odd. I feel we all got a better sleep 4 days ago when he woke at midnight fed and slept till 530-6ish. Whats going on?

OP posts:

flapjackfairy · 10/04/2019 05:17

No idea what is going on but my little one has complex needs and he is regularly awake for the day at 4 am. Today I have been awake since 2.30. Life with kids doesn't run to a timetable sadly. I think sleeping all night is a massive plus so you will have to lower your expectations tbh.

SoyDora · 10/04/2019 06:54

What’s going on is that he’s 7 months old! That’s it. They’re not predictable and things change all the time.

hopefulhalf · 10/04/2019 07:05

So how long is he sleeping in tbe day ? How long was his morning nap yesterday ?

hazeyjane · 10/04/2019 07:31

Never underestimate the crippling effect of sleep deprivation

What the op is describing is not sleep deprivation.

Cannyhandleit · 10/04/2019 07:37

My eldest used to go back to sleep with milk and a cuddle and sleep till 8, he's now 4 and gets up at 5 every fecking morning! If my youngest woke then there was no getting him back to sleep, that was him up! He's now 2 and will sleep till 6.30! Every kid is different, there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it maybe your baby is just an early riser and you'll eventually get used to it! Before kids I thought 6am was the middle of the night but now I consider that a long lie!

Darkstar4855 · 10/04/2019 07:42

What the op is describing is not sleep deprivation.

Actually it’s perfectly possible to be sleep deprived even when your child is sleeping relatively well. If you are anxious and stressed about your child’s sleep you won’t sleep well regardless of whether they do. Postnatal depression/anxiety can also cause sleep deprivation.

This is why a number of posters have suggested the best way to improve things is for OP to adjust her mindset/expectations so that she will be more relaxed and be able to make the most of the sleep time that she does get.

hazeyjane · 10/04/2019 08:09

I realise you can be sleep deprived without children in the mix at all.....the op says that they are overtired due to the baby waking either at midnight for an hour for a feed, or being woken at 5. I suppose I assume that with these timings they should be able to get enough sleep, but you're right they could still be sleep deprived.

I think my viewpoint has been skewed by years of sleep deprivation!

Ginnymweasley · 10/04/2019 08:18

Put the baby to bed an hour later then it's a 6am wake up. I am struggling to see why this is such a huge issue for your dh though tbh. My ds is 9 months. He goes to sleep at 8ish wakes up a couple of times a night usually and then gets up at 7am. I'm tired some days but not absolutely knackered. If he has a bad couple of nights I just go to bed earlier so I get more sleep overall. I also have a 4 year old. A 7 month old sleeping for 10 hours is pretty good. Even if you went to bed at 10pm you would still get 7 hours sleep before the 5am wake up.

Flip

1 2 3 4