Would you be comfortable with your newborn staying out for the night?

[bethfreyaisaac]

Just that question really. When did you let your children stop out for the first time, and who with?

My DD was 3 weeks old(!) and stayed with my mum. DS is now 4 weeks old and we have had offers to have him overnight from my mum again. Just wondering what others think and how they feel about it!

DD1 was nearly 2 (years) when DP’s sister had her at ours overnight without us. MIL had her at hers at 2.7 years. DD2 is just 2 and still up twice a night breastfeeding (despite my best efforts to stop) so still not been away overnight. TBH, I’m happy with that, I don’t want to be away from them-each to their own though.

I think everyone is different and it shouldn't matter what others think or do if it works for you.

A lot of babies that age are tied to mother as she will breastfeed and it's unlikely they will have established pumping by then. A lot of mothers wouldn't what to ether. However that doesn't mean you shouldn't.

I remember going to a sports day and left my baby with my mum and I cried being away as it just felt so weird (and that was baby 4). I think we are all different and I don't think there is any harm, obviously if it were a week or longer the bound between mother and bay would change, but one night here and there is probably fine and gives you sleep!

How bizarre 🤔

No

If I was very close to a parent, maybe six months, otherwise two.

I wouldn't do it - I had my first ever night away from my eight month old last week and that was while I was in hospital and he was at home with his dad! - but I don't see why not if you're comfortable with it, and trust the people caring for him. I assume you're not breastfeeding and I guess neither DC is too terrible a sleeper (for a newborn!), or you know the grandparents will cope ok if they do sleep very badly? We all feel differently about this stuff - I wouldn't have wanted to be away from DS at night until very recently, but I went back to work v early compared to most women I know and feel ok about that 'separation' when they, and perhaps you, wouldn't - doesn't make us better or worse parents!

Orangedaisy- I can imagine it's tough to still have the feeds during the night, but I bet you both cherish the moments!

Mummy- I'm FF so I don't have that to contend with! I feel the same way as you, we are spending a couple of hours away from both DC on Friday night and I am dreading being away from DS already!

Hollow- why is it bizarre? I was just seeing what other people have done. I'm not planning on having DS stay out yet- and DD stayed out as I had a tough labour, a lot going on as well as a newborn- I was no good to anybody and felt completely refreshed and felt I could face the next weeks after a full nights sleep!

Eva- completely understandable. I'm very close with my family and they live literally 5 minutes away so any problems and could be right with them so I suppose that makes me more comfortable whenever in the future sleepovers happen!

New account- oh gosh, I hope you're ok after your hospital stay! Exactly, I guess every family and child are different!

DS was 8 months for the first time with my mom. Mom stayed at ours though so all his things were here and nice and familiar. Me and DH escaped to a hotel and sleeeeppt!

Had my first night away from my children when I went on a business trip when the eldest was 3 and the youngest was 2. First night DH and I had away from them together was when they were 10, 8, and 5. No willing babysitters sadly .

But couldn't have left them while dependent on BFing anyway (DD2 greeted me back from my business trip when she was two with an immediate request for milk).

DTs were 18 months old. I wouldn’t have been comfortable any sooner. They were bf and feeding at night till about 6 months so wouldn’t have been practical anyway.

It depends on what you’re happy with. I had barely let them out of my sight at 3 weeks. I had a friend who was ill after the birth and her DD stayed out in the first week do she could rest.

DS was 9 weeks old. I trust my mother, she's raised three children of her own, I had absolutely no concerns about leaving him. Honestly, she probably knew what she was doing more than me! I wouldn't judge people for not wanting to leave their child or for leaving them - it's a very individual thing I think.

Teething- that sounds lovely!!

Count- oh no! Bet it was lovely for you both to get away. Hopefully you've had a few more nights since!!

Potplant- I completely understand that! Everyone's different!
As for your friend, yes I can imagine recovery would be faster if you could fully rest, bet she appreciated it at the time!!

Bo jangles- my mum is the same! Sounds like you have the luck with your mum like me.

I'm not judging anyone at all, think it is completely individual and very personal. Just not something I could find many people's opinions on so thought it would be interesting to see what other parents thought :)

No

My eldest was 7 weeks when my sister offered to babysit. I snapped her hand off because I was desperate for the break!

My youngest was about the same age and we had no choice because we'd moved house. It was the coldest few nights of that year and there was no gas or heating and the house was freezing (and the youngest had had a bad chest infection in the preceding week) so both children stayed with relatives for 3 nights. After that they stayed out every few weeks and it was a welcome break.

They're 6&8 now and as they've got older they stay out less because there's no-one to have them any more!

Honestly, go for it! A few hours here and sleep is bloody brilliant! They get lots of cuddles and precious moments with their family, u get to recover and sleep and feel refreshed and personally I believe its good to get used it asap rather than not leaving their side and building separation anxiety issues x

Snowflakes- completely understand :)

Keptthebeaches- I bet you were so grateful! I'm sure there will be the time when you have people to have them overnight again!

Jackio- that's my opinion on them staying out too- my DD isn't phased by leaving me for a few hours or overnight, so separating anxiety won't be a problem. Don't think I'm going to let him stay out for another couple of weeks at least, but I am looking forward to unbroken sleep!!

I left DD for 2 nights when she was 16 months for a child free family wedding. Left her with my mum. Had stopped bf when she was 14 months otherwise it wouldn't have been a option.
Had a good time but missed her like crazy. Would rather not have gone.

No, I wouldn't have been happy at all. Ds1 was about 16 months, and he stayed at GPS overnight a few times, because I was very pregnant with his brother so we were prepping him really in case he needed to (he did). Ds2 hasn't stayed over at all yet, he's 2.

DS was in SCBU for 8 nights (6-14 days) so had little choice

Ds is 4 and I still wouldn't want him away overnight. When he was 2 I was almost septic with a kidney infection and spent 2 nights in hospital. Should have been longer but I was just about ok to be discharged (I begged) It took him 6 months to get over his separation anxiety. He's breastfed though and that makes a difference. Back then he'd still wake in the night for a feed. Now it's just bedtime. Single mum though and I'm all he's got which I think makes a huge difference. Dd1 was 19 months when I first had a night away. She was in hospital and her dad stayed with her one night as I was 6 weeks off my due date with her sister. I hated it. Dd2 was 3 when I had my first night away but was merely sleeping in a different holiday lodge for one night and still put her to bed and got her up in the morning. They go to their dad's eow now and I hate it despite them being 12 and 10.

My DD is almost 8 months old and I can't see her sleeping over anyone's anytime soon. To be fair I am breastfeeding so she can't anyway.

I think it's really down to personal choice, I feel absolutely no were near ready yet.

I understand BF obviously makes it different then FF- and everyone feels different times are the right times. Been good to see different opinions!

DS was about that age, we lived with my parents when he was born and my mum occasionally had him through the night for me while we lived there. He was only weeks old when we moved out so because she'd helped have him through the night occasionally it didn't feel so weird.

Infect it felt weirder that I was in the new house and not there!

Enjoy the peace and the sleep OP