Dream baby changed over night at 10 weeks :(

[domisaag]

HELP! My 10 week EBF baby has dramatically changed in the past two days. She has always struggled with naps, but was improving, we were putting her down with eyes open and with a moderate amount of encouragement and not much protesting she would nod off. We were using sleep cues; shooshing white noise app, swaddling and dummy in a dimly lit room. HOWEVER in the past 2 days she has screamed the house down every time I put her down and will only sleep on me, even then it's only for 10 minute bursts. It's like she has negative associations with the routine we are trying to instill.

She is fussy and very needy, neither of which she was before. As far as wonder weeks goes she has supposedly come out of leap 2, but she's worse than ever! I'm tearing my hair out, can't put her down without inconsolable crying. She is so distressed. I had to leave her crying during her morning 'nap' two days running because I was overwrought. I'm worried I've caused her to feel so distressed by leaving her to cry (only for 5 minutes on both occasions) as her behaviour seemed to change after these two spells. Is that purely coincidental??!

Oh and she hates the pram, cries pretty much the whole time and doesn't even really sleep in the sling either.

Is anyone else experiencing a similar change? Is there anything I can do to help settle her/undo negative associations?

Thank you!!!

Well, baby sleep isn't linear and it's always changing !

10 weeks is really little. Why don't you just rock her to sleep ?

you're really really early days. Routine won't work, just hold her.

She’s still a tiny baby. It’s too early to try and instill a routine or to try and force her to nap. If she wants picking up just pick her up and cuddle her.

As the previous poster has said, sleep isn’t linear. It will change all the time. I know it’s exhausting having to carry them around with you everywhere but it won’t be forever.

What is it about the situation that caused you to become overwrought? Just forget about all the things you “think” you should be doing and listen to your baby instead. She’s telling you loud and clear that she wants her mummy😊

Cuddle her to sleep. You baby’s sleep will change regularly as they grow and develop. Then you have teething and if she catches any bugs. She is tiny to be setting a routine.

What PP said. Just cuddle to sleep as needed. It goes in cycles. My 7 month old usually self-settles to sleep now (I didn't train her, she just started doing it one day) but if she's going through some development or not feeling well she will have a clingy phase she might need a cuddle to sleep and that's fine too.

Relax and enjoy the baby cuddles. She won't still be like it at 16.

My baby is 6 months next week and is still rocked to sleep at nap time but bedtime she doesn't like it and just goes down on her own. They're all different and go through cycles - just do whatever baby needs to get to sleep.

She’s probably got less sleepy and so less willing to nod off by herself. You could try pushing the naps back a little? If that doesn’t work try getting her to go to sleep with your hand on her tummy or similar. If that doesn’t work... Just do whatever she needs to get to sleep. Overtired babies are the pits.

You 100 per cenf can have a routine this young, I have followed one for ds since birth! Of course he doesn't always follow it.

I wouldn't stress - be persistent and keep going, sometimes ds refuses a nap - I leave him in the cot but go in every 2 minutes to reassure him. Imo benefits of nitninstilling wrong sleep associations nownare worth it. You won't want to be up 8 times a night rocking the baby to sleep or having to go through traumatic sleep trainung if you can avoid it.

I wouldn't stress - be persistent and keep going, sometimes ds refuses a nap - I leave him in the cot but go in every 2 minutes to reassure him. Imo benefits of nitninstilling wrong sleep associations nownare worth it. You won't want to be up 8 times a night rocking the baby to sleep or having to go through traumatic sleep trainung if you can avoid it.

But going in every two minutes is sleep training, you're not avoiding it you're just doing it on a baby that's far younger than anyone recommends...

I have a six month old who has bad sleep associations and doesn't sleep especially well, so I expect I'm what you're trying to avoid. I have never, ever thought 'gosh, I wish I'd cuddled him less and let him cry to himself as a newborn'.

Just love it. Soon enough you will be back at work and miss your tiny baby 😭 my button is almost two now and I love it when she falls asleep on me.

And now she goes to bed and doesn’t complain and sleeps through the night. So just enjoy your snuggly cuddly baby.

Can you not feed her to sleep during naps and then she can sleep on you? If she's going through a stage where she wants held I don't see the harm in holding her at only 10 weeks.

@Alyosha

I'm not convinced they develop lasting sleep associations at that age tbh. I cuddled DD to sleep until I noticed that she had developed to the point of self-settling about six months and she doesn't need to be cuddled to sleep now. I go to her once in the night at 10-11 to feed her and again at 4... For well-attached children to develop, they need to know that they are the centre of your world and that you will always respond to their distress promptly, or so the attachment specialist told me during attachment training. Even if they stop crying, leaving them to cry does increase their stress levels.

OP, I advise you to read the following article:

www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/its-evolution-baby

Lisa - of course that is your choice - I had read enough of MN including the horror stories on the sleep board that I decided to do Gina F from the beginning. It was hard work and of course DS doesn't always fit the schedule, but he is generally very happy and contented, usually sleeps well and we have some good adult time in the evenings!

But that is what works for us, as you say I suppose it is a form of sleep training and we didn't mind doing this, nothing wrong with choosing something else!

However OP wants to follow a routine, there is no reason she shouldn't.

I think you can instill poor sleep associations - otherwise this board wouldn't be full of people at breaking point from their 4 month + babies waking up 8-10 times a night...

Also there is nothing wrong with enjoying baby cuddles! But perhaps like me OP doesn't want to be doing this all the time; maybe she wants some time to herself during the day, in which case I would say that what worked for me was sticking to a routine and making every day the same for the baby.

I think you can instill poor sleep associations - otherwise this board wouldn't be full of people at breaking point from their 4 month + babies waking up 8-10 times a night...

That's the four month sleep regression and a recognised developmental milestone usually occurring at four months (but can be earlier/later) where babies begin to sleep in a new way and wake every hour or so until they learn to link their sleep cycles. Nothing to do with sleep associations.

Like all developmental things, it affects different babies differently- your baby have gone through it more easily, mine did have a period of waking every hour or so but at about eight weeks so we didn't realise that was what it was.

www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/4-month-sleep-regression/
www.nestedbean.com/blogs/zen-blog/4-month-sleep-regression
www.thebump.com/a/4-month-sleep-regression

HTH

your baby have = your baby may have

As babies get older they become more aware of their surroundings. Just cuddle them.

Forget about bad associations. You will have many bad associations to deal with and there's pretty much nothing you can do about it. Fwiw I have 3 children and with my first was quite rigid in not making bad associations - big regret - now I cuddle my babies.

Regan - right, baby wakes up between every sleep cycle and needs to be assisted back to sleep every time with the association they are used to (feeding, rocking, dummy).

I had EXACTLY the same issue when my little boy turned 12 weeks. He was never easy to nap but we were making progress. He even self settled for his naps for a while. Until last week, when he started screaming whenever we put him down!! I have no answer. The last couple of days have been mixed. I wonder if he now realises thst his crib means sleep, and thst he's either overtired or undertired or just plain stubborn and wants to play instead? Let me know if you solve it!!

And to those who criticise routines st this age.... I didn't originally intend to, but my little boy will NOT nap unless he is either in moving the pram or properly in the crib with white noise etc. Belive me, id adore it if he would nap whenever he felt tired! Unfortunately we're not all that lucky. In my case, a daily schedule saved me. My baby was miserably overtired and I was frantic until I got some structure for us both.

You can't instil a routine on a 10 week old baby.

You do whatever you can to soothe them and that might mean doing it all night long and feeling like you're going to loose your mind.

You accept any help & support you have.

And then you'll forget because It will pass. It will pass.

One of mine developed silent reflux around 7 weeks happy baby turned into nightmare...

@grinchypants I think you'll find all babies (and parents) are different. What works for one won't work for another. And what works at one time might not work a week later - and vice versa. Fwiw I have had a very established routine with my son since he was 9 weeks old regarding his bedtime, and he sleeps through the night. I am also very aware that this may not last!!

A 10 week okd baby is still in its 4th trimester. They should still be inside you.

Routines are a waste of time.

Bedtime routines are a different matter. Having a set rigmarole you go through in order to get them to sleep is encouraged. However, routine in the sense of, 'I will put you down at 7pm and you will sleep come hell or high water' is unnecessary and unlikely to result in a happy baby.

@Alyosha baby wakes up every sleep cycle, realises it is alone and cries. As they are supposed to do, biologically, because a ten week old baby being left on its own is not a natural state of affairs. Bog all to do with sleep associations, baby is upset or scared and in need of comfort.

@reagansomerset... guess im just lucky then in that respect - my baby DOES sleep at 7pm. I literally walk out the room and he falls asleep 😁