4 month old up every hour - sleep regression? Help!

[octoberfarm]

Baby is 4.5 months old and due to milk and soy allergies (now addressed) has generally never been a great sleeper. But about three weeks ago he managed about a week and a half of sleeping through from about 9 to 3/4, and then going back down after a feed until 6:30 - he needed resettling with a dummy throughout the night but compared to where we had been it was bliss.

For the last week or two it's been going rapidly downhill again and he's now waking between every 45 minutes and an hour all night. I try letting him settle himself but he gets hysterical and I'm not feeding him each time he wakes as I know he doesn't need it, but when I do he doesn't seem particularly hungry, just uncomfortable - he'll wake up kicking his legs as if he's in pain and it seems to be worse if he's pooped less than usual in a day, although he pooped right before bed the night before last and it didn't make an ounce of difference.

I have a toddler with special needs and my husband works really long hours. We switch out at 5am so I can grab a few hours then, but I'm on my knees. Tonight he's been up literally every hour for 45 minutes to an hour each time, and has just woken again after just half an hour down.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

I have no suggestions but I am right there with you. It is hell.

Sorry to hear you're going through it too Mississippi. It's the worst. Hope you manage to get some sleep soon.

How is it going Octoberfarm. Rough night here

Night before last was an absolute disaster but tonight's been a bit better - up at 12 and 2 but was able to settle pretty easily with a dummy until 3am when I cracked and gave him a bottle, which he's now eating ridiculously slowly! We're in the US so a bit behind you I think. It just all seems so hit and miss! Does your LO nap at all during the daytime? Hope so, and that you manage to grab a few extra hours sleep today!

We were the other way round - night before was good, last night shocking.

I dread nights. It's really affecting my mood.

Mine too - nights are just so long and lonely, and I'm so exhausted every day. Last night ended going downhill in the end - praying he sleeps tonight! Fingers crossed for you too 🤞Any chance you can arm yourself with chocolate biscuits and Netflix to help you get through? That's my plan

Problem is I don't want to make it exciting for him.

Sorry to hear yours went downhill. It is indeed very very lonely.

Oh gosh in a v similar situation! My 4 month old is on soy for CMI and she refused the specialist formulas and i got fed up of trying different ones and seieng her in pain. Last night she seemed to spend the entire night trying to do a poo. I have an almost 2 year old and almost 5 year old and today I feel like death. 4 nights ago we had the best night ever 9pm-2.30-5am. And since then... hell. Literally have no advice as I came on here looking for some myself! I am going to try giving her more cooled boiled water in afternoon and during the night (she doesn't really want a feed most of the time and I think it hurts her tummy more) us trying to sort out her day time cat napping. But who knows?!

Can I join?. 4 month sleep regression hit us too. Baby is bf, refuses a dummy so I'm alone all night, hourly Wakes, falls asleep feeskabd often wakes as soon I put him back in bed or down on my bed to co sleep. Got old dc so can't sleep during the day. So tired.
Hope it passes for yous soon

Argh, got exactly the same thing here, and can’t catch up on sleep during the day because the baby only naps for 30mins at a time and only outdoors, and I have a 3 year old as well 😧

Can't offer any advice I'm afraid, but we're going through the same thing. Although DS has never been a good sleeper, the last few days have been awful.

I'm not a weepy person normally, but cried at a baby group in front of 12 people this morning. They were so kind it made me want to cry more!

Ah @thelovelychubbymcgee I was in full on floods yesterday at 5am. Have been up 11.45,2.30, 3.30 until now... currently downstairs desperately trying to bounce her back.to sleep so she doesn't wake the other children. Also feel like crying right now and have had to cancel plans for the day as I'm too tired to do anything.... I did manage to get her to sleep for an anything her cot in the day today and for her evening nap though, so some tiny measure of progress... @purplestorm.i read something about baby's 30-40min sleep cycle and how at 4 months they need to start being in a quiet dark place to nap

*an hour.
Sorry posted too soon. I put her down in her cot tonight as well (rather than bouncer and transfer) and also gave her a tummy massage before bed and really good dream feed later so had high hopes for some sleep tonight! But no. No improvement on last 2 night's...

I've read the 'must be dark and auiet' but DS naps best in his sling when I have taken him for a walk. I think right now sleep at any cost is the most important thing.
There is no pattern. Yesterday he napped for a total of 4hrs 40 (all in the sling, so no sleep for me). He went down at 7, woke at 9, took til 10 to settle but then went to 4.15.this is a miracle but I dont expect it to stay.

So glad you had some success @Mississippilessly, well done your LO! So sorry everyone else is going through this too. We're back to up every 40 minutes here and it's only 2am - so exhausted. He's not even hungry, he just wants his pacifier back in but will spit it out again and then cry and scream if I try and give it a miss. Totally understand the tearful thing - feeling a bit like that now. Also have a toddler so no chance for daily naps. Have a birthday coming up soon so may threaten to celebrate by running off for a sleep-filled night in a hotel!

I just feel like I dont know what I'm doing. Should I be limiting day time naps? Trying the crib more? I just dont know.

So sorry for crap nights. Its torture.

@Aries456 I've honestly never cried so much in my life as I have in the past 4 months!

@Mississippilessly snap to the only napping in the sling, today we got about 2.5hr of naps.

Think that's my biggest problem at the moment, not knowing what is helping and when it's time to stop doing what we're supposed to do and when to start just facilitating his sleep.

@TheLovleyChebbyMcGee and @Mississippilessly, we're in exactly the same boat. Our pediatrician is all about how we should be putting him down in his own room, awake, and seems to think he should just settle himself and be sleeping through, but I've no idea how you actually get them to do that.

I know I'm meant to be removing sleep associations and am trying to get rid of the dummy but it's the only damn thing that'll get him back to sleep, and when it's the sixth time we've been up in the night I'll do literally anything to get him down again. Sigh. Hope everyone's nights are going better tonight

And re: the crib, I keep trying to get him to nap in there but at best we get half an hour and then he won't go down in the crib for the rest of the day. I need the daytime naps to make it through so unsure whether to persist and hope he just learns to sleep there eventually or whether to just let him nap in the swing and save the crib battle for after the four month sleep regression of hell 🤷🏻‍♀️

@octoberfarm yup, at the moment I'm feeding to sleep at night, co-sleeping, and the only way I can get him to nap is by walking him in the sling, but I don't know what else to do. The info on websites is so contrary to each other, and in all honesty it's not been good for my mental health reading too much, makes me feel I'm failing as a parent, so I'm trying not to read too much. Its easy to get drawn into it at 3am!!
Hope everyone is doing ok tonight!

My baby is a bit older and I recognise your distress. It is so so hard. I only have one and am totally full of awe for you who have to get up and look after other children.
My baby is not a good sleeper.

Have you read the Gentle Guide to Sleeping?
That will help you understand more about what your baby is going through, it did help me feel less frustrated towards him. Which I don’t like to admit to; but I did get rather frustrated.

Day time naps are crucial, so they say.
Huckleberry is a free app that can store their sleep data and then predict when they should nap - it might help.

Am hoping it all gets easier for you soon

Dreadful night again. It is like torture. And not being able to nap in the day is horrendous. I feel like I've lost myself

So sorry @Mississippilessly. It's still the middle of the night here and LO is asleep but I can't get back off after he was up for an hour and a half, so kicking myself for wasting the chance to sleep but can't get off. Not sure if it might help you but I put a little bit of baby cereal in his milk last night and he managed to go a longer stretch than previous nights - might that help?

It will get better, I promise. You're doing so well.

I sat down and monitored her naps for 2 days and saw how frequent and short they were. So I made a decision 2 days ago to ditch the bouncer and go for cot napping only (or buggy if going on school run) and stretching time between naps to 1.5hrs minimum, and focus on HER routine rather than my toddler for a couple of days - And it has worked! In just 2 days I went from 7 day naps for average 30 mins to 4 naps - the longest being 2.5 hours and I had to wake her!! Don't know if because of this, but last night we were back to 12 - 3 - 6am wakes. I just waited for tired cues around an 60mins after her last wake then tried to eek it out a bit. I had 1 put down in cot after a feed when she was drowsy but awake and she went down no fuss and the others have involved some crying. I pick her up after 2 mins and sooth her then put her down again once calm. After 3 of those she seems to go off. No idea if it will last but I feel vaguely human again and a but more in control x