4 month old up every hour - sleep regression? Help!

[octoberfarm]

Baby is 4.5 months old and due to milk and soy allergies (now addressed) has generally never been a great sleeper. But about three weeks ago he managed about a week and a half of sleeping through from about 9 to 3/4, and then going back down after a feed until 6:30 - he needed resettling with a dummy throughout the night but compared to where we had been it was bliss.

For the last week or two it's been going rapidly downhill again and he's now waking between every 45 minutes and an hour all night. I try letting him settle himself but he gets hysterical and I'm not feeding him each time he wakes as I know he doesn't need it, but when I do he doesn't seem particularly hungry, just uncomfortable - he'll wake up kicking his legs as if he's in pain and it seems to be worse if he's pooped less than usual in a day, although he pooped right before bed the night before last and it didn't make an ounce of difference.

I have a toddler with special needs and my husband works really long hours. We switch out at 5am so I can grab a few hours then, but I'm on my knees. Tonight he's been up literally every hour for 45 minutes to an hour each time, and has just woken again after just half an hour down.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

That's great Aries, well done!

Tried your plan @Aries456 and it worked in so much as we actually managed some naps in the crib yesterday! Thanks for the ideas. Last night was better again following a second night of cereal mixed into his milk so definitely going to keep doing that, although it's easier on this end as we're no longer breastfeeding due to CMPA.

How's everyone else holding up?

Any tips on getting them in their crib?! DS is still on sleeping on us in the day.

I ended up waiting until he was sleepy (although this didn't work amazingly as his eyes pop open the second I lie him down) and then put him down in the crib. He screamed bloody murder so I waited a minute or two, and sshed him until he was calm and put him back down. First two naps I had to do that like 10-20 times (which sucked, sorry) but I kept at it and eventually he twigged he'd get reassured but that he would always be going straight back to the crib. When the tears got fewer and he seemed more tired (crying witty eyes closed, etc), I started to do a rhythmic patting thing on his chest/tummy - gentle, slow, once every second or two, and that seemed to give him the nudge he needed to conk out. I really struggled with the CIO stuff with my first and this let me be right by his side the whole time, so I never felt like I was abandoning him and I could cuddle him if he was getting too worked up.

I also used that huckleberry app someone mentioned - I don't plan on subscribing but you log your LO's sleep for three days and as you put in when they last woke up from their nap, it gives you the "sweet spot" for when they're likely to need their next one. I've been using that sweet spot suggestion and watching for eye rubbing cues really closely, and it seems to have stopped him getting over tired. It's still a battle getting him down but by the end of yesterday I didn't have to pick him up to settle when I got him in the crib for his final nap of the day at all.

Really hope this helps - honestly I'm just winging it but was grateful for the suggestions upthread and if I get one better day, I'll take it!

So I can get him to sleep in the crib no bother it's just staying asleep.

I'm so stressed about it. I feel like I've ruined his sleep. We have guests and I'm in our bedroom with him in the sling. He might stay asleep if I go down but he may well not. So I guess I just have to stay up here.

I've just messed it all up and the fact that u guys are remedying it so easily is proof.

No no no, you haven't messed anything up! Babies are like little unpredictable ticking time bombs with no rhyme or reason - I've just had a lucky day. My guy woke up after half an hour of napping for 2 out of the 3 naps but the second time I got him down again by doing the same thing as I did to get him down, but it took a while. The more he gets used to napping in crib, the longer he'll nap for - but that took a while for my first. My eldest is now two and the absolute best but my husband and I both hail this age as the absolute worst of all time - it's so exhausting and miserable and you get so little back. But the fact you're keeping him alive at all, and that you can get him down in the crib with no fuss is amazing! You're doing so well

Thanks Octoberfarm, you are being so kind.

He went for 30 mins in the crib this morning. I didnt try to resettle as he had had a big nap earlier.

I think maybe from Monday I try the morning and last nap in the crib and the lunchtime in the sling (so i at least guarantee one good nap). Does that sound like a plan?

I left him with DH last night. He cried for 20 mins and then went back down. Staying upstairs was torture. I think its important that I dont automatically offer him the boob everytime he wakes up. Plus DH is feeling a but demoralised and a bit useless as DS wont settle for him. But if I keep stepping in i dont think he ever will!

It's no problem, I just know how awful it feels! I think that sounds like an excellent plan - that way he's getting used to napping in the crib but you have a guaranteed middle point to look forward to where he'll definitely sleep. And then if/when he gets his head around crib naps, you can adjust as you see fit.

I've just started the same thing as you re: feeding and DH - my default has always been to feed when he cries but it seems to be getting better now I last it out when I know he shouldn't be hungry because he's just eaten, etc. It is awful listening to the tears though - yesterday I had to put in earplugs and even those didn't help so think I may need to invest in industrial strength ones for the times I need DH to take over

Half an hour in the crib is amazing though - hope your guests are being kind to you and that you get a little bit of you time today. It'll only get better from here. He's lucky to have you.

I'm resettling him for the 8th time. Oh my.life. I think tonight wind is the problem. I can never make him.burp at night.

Mine's the same! Never burps at night but clearly needs too. I could literally sit there trying for an hour and nothing. Occasionally standing up and walking around jiggles it out but not always. How are things going generally?

I just feel so confused and rudderless. We dont have much routine but I cant wake him up from naps when his night sleep is so broken. Last night he slept on DH for 2.5 hrs (DH stayed awake).He reckons we should just accept that and do it in shifts if DS won't settle in his crib.
My head is full of conflicting advice and theories. Wind, regression, self settling, reflux...
I'm at my end.

What does your gut say you should do? There are thousands of different suggestions out there so it gets horribly confusing,but each baby is so different, and each one needs a different key to unlock what they need. It's just a bloody nightmare finding that key, but you will find it and something will stick.

You are doing great Missippiless! My LG had anot fab night again last night and we have gone back to some 40 min naps - today she napped for over 3hours but I had to resettle her like 4timesbecause each time she woke crying, she kept her eyes shut and didn't want to wake. The last time I fed her in my bed and she fell back to sleep on me so I put on the telly and let her sleep on me for a hour! No 2 days will be identical and there is so much going on in them - they have only been here a few months and think how much their bodies are changing! Do you let your baby cry for even 60 or 90 seconds before a pick up? Can you try a pick up and resettle during daynaps? I don't know if that is much better than loads of cat naps but hoping at least a few times she will just go back to sleep.
This whole sleep thing is so shit, try not put pressure on yourself as well or you will end up really down. Small daily goals. Mine this week have been crib napping and 90mins in between if I can. Next week it will be moving wake up to 6am (no idea how to do this). Things are certainly not perfect but I feel it more in control as I can now anticipate when she will be tired and so getting her to sleeps getting easier. Really recommend keeping a log. Sorry for the ramble, sleep deprived brain is struggling!

Aries456 thanks so much for your support and I'm sorry that you have had a bad time of it too.
I have started using Huckleberry to record naps. 2 crib baps today, both around 40 mins. Thing is my HV says that's fine - I thought it was a sign that he wasn't able to link cycles.

It's such a mindfuck! I have found a sleep trainer who is very gentle and says that she does it between 18 and 20 weeks. I'm very tempted. Most to see if it can sort us out a bit.

Love the idea of small tasks each week Aries! Have also been doing the huckleberry thing and naps in the crib are finally getting there - we'd been days of just half an hour ones but today he did an hour and a half! I think sleep trainer sounds like a fab idea - can't hurt, right? My guy is currently screaming his head off as I attempt another nap

Oh gosh sorry Octoberfarm. Mine 'went down'at 7.30 but has woken up 3 times since. That is very unlike him. Usually I get one decent stretch...

Ugh, so sorry. Maybe he's ramping up for an epically long stretch later? Keeping my fingers crossed for you🤞

Every night I say it can't get worse. Every night it does.

So sorry, @Mississippilessly. Offering a handhold in case it helps. Call the sleep consultant - it's their job to help. Really hope today goes better for you

Can I join? Mine will be 5 months old on Sunday, also have 2.5 year old who has just taken up night waking after 2 years of sleeping through pretty consistently.

I'll be over here having a nap - you guys ok to watch my kids? 😴😴😴

Definitely come join! I'll take everyone's kids today (assuming you can pop them over the Atlantic), but I may need a 36 hour nap tomorrow. Is it bad that I've started fantasizing about hotel stays (alone, while my lovely husband takes the kids) for my birthday?

I fantasise about being hospitalised so I reckon you're ok!!

Welcome user!

Any snuffles?

Blocked noses cause havoc with sleep. Even the radiators can cause dry blocked noses.

So DS woke up at 4.15 from his last nap. 6.15 is so early for bedtime (last time we tried 6pm we were up every hr).
Do we give him another nap?! See if he can go longer than 2 hrs awake? Argh the decisions...

Have you got the huckleberry app @Mississippilessly? If you go to the bit where you press start and stop for the nap timer, it should give you a nap predictor. I'd maybe pop him down for a really quick nap to avoid him getting overtired and then giving him a later bedtime - it might help his night sleep go a bit longer maybe?