19 month old just standing all night! Won’t sleep!

[Nicoleb4]

Please help!
Recently my 19 month old had a bad cold and slept in our bed for 1 week. She was always a great sleeper and went to sleep by herself, now she will not sleep in her cot.
When we first put her in she screams, then she literally just stands there for hours. Yesterday night she stood for 4 hours and we felt so bad we ended up bringing her into our bed.
She doesn’t cry, just stands there in silence.
I don’t know what to do!

This is a bit strange so I understand your concerns. Can you sleep in her room for a night so she learns her cot is safe again? You've already made a habit of having her in bed so it can't really be worse, just wean her back to the cot again?

Thankyou for your advice! We have made an effort to play with her in her room, we read to her in her room so she gets comfortable in there.
I guess maybe I try sleeping in there with her one night. I just worry she will want to lie with me and not in the actual cot.

Could you try really tiring her out - swimming or something. Then put her to bed. With any luck she is so tired she falls asleep.

Thankyou for your message! She goes to nursery for a full day and is certainly tired when I take her up to bed, rubbing her eyes and yawning! Even when she is standing in her cot you can see she is falling asleep, but wakes herself up when her legs start to give way!

If she's not crying and literally just standing there id leave her to it

If she’s falling asleep standing up, perhaps you could quietly step in and encourage her to lie down?

Sounds like she’s a stubborn little thing (I have two of those) so it MIGHT just result in her wide awake and screaming, but it’s got to be worth a try.

Has she just learnt to stand? Dd went through this when she was learning to stand, I think she couldn't work out how to lie back down.

I'd just try to break the habit and it'll no doubt pass - have her in with you/like her down/ sit with her etc

If it was mine I would sit with her until she goes asleep. Just lay her down stroke her face, sing gently, whatever, each time she tries to stand just lay her down again and reiterate its bedtime time.

Maybe 1-2 nights of this and habit is broke again

So she was standing there quietly, we decided to leave her. After 6 hours she began to cry, I decided to go in and lie her down and realised she had vomited 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁
Now back in my bed. I give up 🙁

I think that's very strange. Can you mention it to your health visitor or doctor? Six hours is a long long time for a young toddler to stand still.

It's quite extreme. Although not the same my 2.5yo quite often will sit/lie/stand silently in her cot until we go in. It's always after a sleep though and what usually happens is I hear her stiring in her sleep and then I don't hear anything again. So I assume she's gone back to sleep. When I go in she's just sat there being very patient....but she would never do it for 4 hours. I suspect 45 mins but not longer. She's an incredibly polite little girl and very patient so I'm wondering if it's similar with your DD but I'm not convinced.

I'm wondering whether the gentle/gradual retreat might work. You sit in chair next to her cot in silence until they go to sleep for 3 nights and you then move the chair back for another 3 nights and then do the same again. Eventually they learn to settle. Not sure whether it would work in this scenario. I'd definitely discuss with the health visitor.

Oh no! Poor thing. Do you think she wasn’t lying down because she knew her food would come back up again? Is she having enough time to digest her dinner before bedtime? Does he have milk after dinner/before bed? Maybe she needs less to eat before bed.

Hope she’s feeling better tomorrow morning.

Thankyou all so much for your advice. I don’t have a health visitor anymore (cuts in my area!) but maybe will speak to the doctor.
Feel like I’m never going to get my evenings back to myself 😟😟😟

Yes, I think it's a good idea to ask the doctor. I hope she's alright.

Thankyou!

Hi all,

So 7 months on and my daughter will still not sleep in her own cot.
Now she makes us hold her hand, she’s falls asleep but within 30mins she’s back up standing.
I’m really struggling and need some help! I just don’t know what to do anymore 🙁

Will she sleep in a bed if you got one for her ?

Cosleep so you both get some rest?

Hey!
I think she would just run out of it!
Even on nights that I give up and put her in my bed, she will not go to sleep unless I lie next to her.
She just seems to have such separation anxiety.
She only goes nursery twice a week, the other days she’s with me or grandparents. So it’s not like she’s left without us too much?

Can you afford to have a sleep trainer come help? They might be able to offer some solutions?

If she lies and sleeps with you next to her, then that’s exactly what I would do.

Set up a nice comfy bed for you next to her. Lie with her until she sleeps.

Do this for a few weeks. In her room though so she associates it with sleep.

Then gradually work away from that by seeing if you can get her lying down and just as she relaxes to sleep, leave the room for one minute and come back. And lie with her again. Gradually extend the leaving time until hopefully she gets used to falling asleep solo.

Did you take her to see a GP?

She’s just so stubborn. I have tried lying down next to her cot but then she wants to come out and lie with me and cuddle ( she feels the cot is a barrier)

No I didn’t, I didn’t know how they could help?

And what @Iggly said. The nice gentle approach could work if it’s separation anxiety.

Also you could have a nice soft cuddly toy that you both cuddle only when going to sleep. She may well start to associate sleep with this toy too and eventually that’ll become her sleep association. We found that out with my grand daughter. She sleeps so much better if she can just cuddle something!