FFS darling, it's still nighttime!

[butitsstillnighttime]

On repeat, daily, from 4am, to a soundtrack of screaming with added physical theatre (kicking, thrashing, pointing at the window or door) from my 18month old.
We're downstairs now 'reading' as staying in his room just results in 2 hours of hysterics.
Me and DP take the night shift in turn so as not to die of tiredness, but to be honest we're close anyway.
How do you/did you deal with this?
I've no idea what to do anymore!

What’s his routine like?

Also feel free to join for pure solidarity. I'm due at work in a few hours. I'm sure I'll be sparkling company.

Hi @LapinR0se, thanks for replying!

He has always been a bit of a short sleeper- 9-6 on a good night, since b-feeding.

He's now dinner 5pm, milk at 7pm, bath and in bed asleep by 8pm (was 8.30 in summer). On a good night he'll go through to 6 but for the last month he'a been waking v early, very distressed, and won't resettle. We try not to give breakfast until 7am, he lunches at 11.30, and naps for 1.45-2 hours at around 12.45pm.
I should add he is very clingy with me, even more so recently- currently sitting on my lap looking at books.
I work f/t and we have a nanny he loves so no changes there.

Any ideas? Advice massively appreciated.

Similar thread last week. Good advice given and it seemed to work.

@Nakedavenger74 ah thanks, don't suppose you remember title? I've been browsing a lot but don't recall seeing it

I would try a short nap in the morning as well as the afternoon one, after breakfast so around 8:30/9am. I’ve had this issue with dd and I upped her daytime sleep and she woke up at 6 today which is a huge improvement on 3:30am.

Earlier to bed. Your baby doesn't have enough melatonin in its system to carry him through until after 4am if bedtimes 8.30/9

Definitely do a power nap within 3 hours of waking up

Thanks both, I do suspect overtiredness but currently I can't get home until 7 so earlier bedtime is tricky (maybe we skip bath?)

One thing that has changed is shifting his nap from 10.45am until after lunch, as he has refused an afternoon nap since around 14 months. We thought nap shifting would help as clearly the awake time was huge before bed, but we did this as the night screaming and early waking was already in full swing by then.

How long a powernap would you suggest @thinkingcapon ?

Sorry that didn't help. Trying to find it but needle in haystack!

I has a rule after dd1 did one summer when she was 18 months old of waking up at 5 am. No getting up before 6.30 am and so dd1 (and in time dd2 also) came into bed between dh and I and at least I could rest.

I would then get up with the dc and swap with dh at 8.30.

It's what worked for us and kept my sanity maybe

*Had a rule!

@RollerJed ahh if only he would come to our bed!! We've tried many times and he gets even more hysterical...much to our disappointment!

20mins power nap at about 8am

Then sleep 12-2.30/3

Bed as close to 7 as poss

I have no advice, sorry. This happened to us with one of DC and it was awful.

Could he be cold if he's waking up at 4am?
My ds started waking around then, with the weather turning colder we used a sleeping bag and he sleeps until 6.30 again.

My two ideas... earlier to bed (my girls wake at 6am but they go to bed at 6pm and are a similar age)

Maybe coldness? 4am is around the coldest part of the night. When we had a similar issue we set the heating to come on earlier.

Thanks so much for replies. Will see if we can work the power nap. Don't think he's cold- we keep heating on low and he's in layers.
Really appreciate the responses. Despite the jokey tone i'm actually really sruggling and scares i'm going to lose my temper with him. I felt myself nearly go whilst he resisted a nappy change then- Followed by me crying whilst he drank milk in my lap as i'm scared i'll snap through tiredness ans frustration.

Yes it’s an overtiredness issue, he is missing a couple of hours sleep a day.
Giving a 20 min morning nap will exacerbate early waking as he will depend on it as a catch up and keep waking before 5.
You need to do a 6pm bedtime every night for at least a week. He will be asleep when you get home but that’s ok. He needs the rest. Do not get him up before 6am and do not offer anything to eat or drink before 6.30am.
Make sure his room is fully blacked out and that he is warm enough.

@LapinR0se thanks lapin. I think we'll try that starting tonight, but maybe incrementally to bring it forward.
We've just been discussing what to do when he does wake before 5.30/6. Should we leave him be even if he's really distressed? Currently we go in and try to resettle after ten mins which we could sometimes manage previously, but We're willing to try anything now tbh, as what we have done in the past isn't working anymore

I would leave him but make sure the nursery environment is optimal, ie fully blacked out, warm and with no noises such as heating banging on or airplane noise

Hey @6onTheHappyFarm, god it's awful isn't it? When did it end for you? Did it just phase out on it's own or did you make changes too?

Hi butitsstillnighttime , as you may be able to tell from my username I'm in the same boat , my 1 year old has woken up between 4-5am from day one rolls eyes . It's so so hard and I'm so sorry to not have any good advice for you as I haven't managed to find anything that works myself and DH take turns like you but it's still so so tough . If I bring my DD into bed with me when she wakes up she thinks it's party time and generally mess about nearly falling off the bed most of the time so I have to get up , and she will be hysterical if I just leave her in her cot for too long which I can't stand ! I find the boredom most difficult actually especially when the mornings are so dark , there is really only so much you can do between 4am and 7am ( breakfast time!) plus also being insanely tired and grumpy doesn't exactly inspire me to want to play! Sorry this turned into a moan but I just wanted to tell you you aren't alone!!

Oh and she goes to bed at 1830 every night , which is good cause at least we get an evening and I can go to bed at 8pm if I like

Do you think he is waking from a nightmare, given that he is so distressed. At that age they can't rationalise it as being ' not real'.

It passed after a few months for us.
It drove me insane as I tried to problem solve it though. Does she need more day then sleep? Less day time sleep? Is she hungry? Cold? Etc.

DH and I took it in turns to get up with her. It was tough though. DS2 was only a few months old, so we were still up a few times in the night with him too, and then had the school run with DS1 at 8.15.

It will pass.